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Is It Friendship If You Have Nothing in Common Anymore? February 27, 2015 . 12 Comments
Thanks for your question. I guess the simple and perhaps even smart-alecky answer would be, “Don’t talk about politics and stick to sports!” I have very good friends who disagree ... Read More
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Mom’s Leaving Me with Hurt, Guilt, Resentment, and Anger February 20, 2015 . 8 Comments
First, I want to tell you that you are absolutely entitled to all of your feelings—even the ones that seem to contradict each other. Relationships are very complex; there is room for ... Read More
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Saying You’re Sorry, Part II: Apology As High-Road Leadership April 28, 2014 . 8 Comments
When you are looking for good leadership, one of the most discerning things to ask about is whether the leader can apologize and take responsibility for repairing relationships and situations. ... Read More
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Saying You’re Sorry, Part I: Apologies that Heal March 27, 2014 . 16 Comments
“David, tell Randy you’re sorry.” “Sorry.” The mother takes 7-year-old David to another part of the playground. By the sound of the “saaaaawry,” ... Read More
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50 Years Later, Should I Finally Talk about My Pastor’s Sex Abuse? March 14, 2014 . 8 Comments
You are not a coward. The only person to blame in this story is the pastor, who bullied an 8-year-old by taking advantage of faith, youth, and innocence, who knew his actions were against ... Read More
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Selfishness, Guilt, and Separation: When Parents Take Precedence October 10, 2013 . 34 Comments
“You’re so selfish!” I hear this phrase too frequently when working with people who have trouble with separation and individuation. When children hear from their parents that they ... Read More
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5 Things Your Spousal Caregiver Wants You to Know, Part I June 20, 2013 . 3 Comments
Living with a disability can be exhausting and frustrating, and the experience may give way to feelings of dependency and vulnerability. If you live with your family, it is important to ... Read More
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Reducing Shame through Group Therapy for Social Anxiety May 3, 2013 . 7 Comments
Social anxiety (SAD) can be a debilitating condition. The symptoms of SAD include fear, shame, guilt, depression, and avoidance of situations that trigger any of those emotions. People ... Read More
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My Parents Stayed Together Because of Me. Now I Feel Guilty! February 22, 2013 . 18 Comments
Thank you for writing. Divorce can be such a difficult subject for families, and many parents struggle with how to talk with their kids about their thoughts and feelings about it. The reasons ... Read More
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The Caretaker’s Conundrum: Guilt If You Do, Guilt If You Don’t December 11, 2012 . 7 Comments
Guilt is a great connector. It can be the adhesive that keeps us bound to people in our lives in ways that are not constructive. It can interfere with our ability to express our thoughts ... Read More
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Guilt May Fuel the Impulse to Injure Oneself October 12, 2012 . 5 Comments
Nonsuicidal self-injuries (NSSI) are believed to be inflicted as a method of coping with distressing emotions. People who cut, burn, or otherwise harm themselves may do so in an attempt ... Read More
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The Role of Guilt in Eating and Food Issues October 2, 2012 . 7 Comments
Eating issues are exhibited through a number of behaviors, including—but not limited to—binge eating (BE) and purging. Some people who have challenges with eating and food issues engage ... Read More