Helping People Find Therapists & Advocating for Ethical and Healthy Therapy & Marriage Counseling Practices

My Approach to Helping

I am a CBT therapist, with specialization in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) which provides an additional skills set specifically targeting affect management disorders such as Borderline Personality and Bipolar Disorder. I take special interest in understanding the role of Attachment in these disorders, as affect dysregualtion can wreak havoc on the bonding experieince between parent and child, husband and wife, even social relationships. I have integrated my expertise in cognitive-behavioral therapies with my knowledge and understanding of Attachment Theory in order to be as effective as possible in treating not only the behaviors that arise out of many disorders, but also the underlying causes for those behaviors.

I am also trained in EMDR. I have found over time in working with the underlying causes of behaviors, that the intensity of the emotion is often the culprit, and that this intensity has typically been built up over many years. Unresolved or only partially resolved hurts, sometimes in the form of losses, often times as traumas, continue to bring their emotional charge to present-day situations unless they have an opportunity to effectively express to a sense of resolution. EMDR is the most effective tool I have found to facilitate this process in the shortest amount of time.

I help people meet their goals by working to identify the connections between how they think, feel, behave, and engage with their environment. I teach mindfulness, emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness skills to promote change. I also facilitate reprocessing of any thoughts, feelings, or behaviors, whether traumatic or just disturbing to you as a client, that may block the use of these skills to achieve your goals.

For example, let's say you feel angry and engage in the behavior of yelling and shaking your fist at another driver when the driver cuts you off in traffic. Possibly this has become a pattern for you, and has led to friends and family members choosing not to ride with you whenever possible. Your thoughts while angry may include They think they own the road! or They think they are better than me. Skills training can help you mindfully notice opportunities to engage in emotion regulation and distress tolerance strategies which may help you deal more effectively with your environment. In addition, you may notice this thought of People think they are better than me! is present throughout many circumstances and situations in your life, and that it frequently fuels unwanted feelings and behaviors. In this case, you may choose to reprocess a maladaptively stored memory to help make using the skills you have learned easier and more effective.

In order to ensure a good outcome for you in therapy, it is important that we develop a good therapy relationship. If for any reason you do not connect with me, I will do everything I can to help you find another therapist. Cognitive-Behavior Therapy and EMDR are highly focused treatments with discrete beginning and an end points. I do not believe that people need to be in therapy indefinitely. You and I will work together to create a specific treatment plan with defined goals and end-dates. Throughout therapy, we will return to the treatment plan to review specific goals, assess progress, and arrange for termination in a sensitive and timely manner. In addition to providing therapy and skills training to individuals, couples, and groups, I am available for teaching, coaching and consultation in personal or business settings.

 

More Info About My Practice

Educational and Professional Background

Melissa Mockensturm Gardner received her BA in Molecular, Cellular and Developmental Biology at the University of Colorado in Boulder in 1990, and worked in that field for nearly 20 years before making the decision to expand out of the limits of her reasoning mind and into the realm of emotion mind, to incorporate a more wise and balanced approach to her professional life.

Prior to her work in the mental health profession, Mel practiced research science in biochemistry and molecular biology at various institutions across the United States, including the Mayo Clinic Scottsdale for 5 years. She brings this analytical orientation and an interest in brain chemistry and neuroanatomy to her understanding of phobias, mood and anxiety disorders, especially with respect to trauma and stress, to help bring relief for those who suffer in these areas.

Mel received her MA in Professional Counseling at Argosy University where she specialized in grief therapy and fertility issues. She completed a one-year internship at Christian Family Care Agency where she trained in working with families and women's issues, and received her first exposure to Attachment Theory and Attachment Therapies.

Mel completed a two-year residency at the Glendale office of Phoenix Interfaith Counseling where she conducted group and individual therapy, and worked with couples within the cognitive behavioral (CBT) and dialectical behavioral (DBT) therapeutic approaches to help alleviate mood disorders, anxiety disorders including PTSD, and worked with eating disorders and personality dysfunctions including Borderline Personality Disorder. She is trained in EMDR trauma therapy, with specialization in Adult Attachment issues.

Mel is a member of the American Counseling Association (ACA), the EMDR International Association (EMDRIA), and is a retired board member for RESOLVE of AZ, a local infertility support organization, where she served as the Help-line Director for four years.

 

Specific Issue(s) I'm Skilled at Helping With

I feel particularly adept at helping people who have experienced trauma - whether physically, sexually, psychologically or emotionally - at some time in their lies and who continue to struggle with reminders of it today. I am able to help stabilize what can sometimes feel like re-experiiencing of that trauma through teaching and facilitating application of skills to live differently and then helping the person to look back and effectively reprocess that traumatic experience. Sometimes there are multiple traumas that group together. EMDR is the fastest and most effective way I know to recover from these and secure a life worth living.

 

My Role as a Therapist

The way I see my role as therapist is as a well-informed and caring helper. I do not take an authoritarian approach where the onus is on you to talk and cry throughout the session while I nod and provide tissues. I use a white board and lots of humor to get right to the identified goals of the session and make sure that you walk out of each session with a plan for skills to try and a phone number to call me anytime between 9AM and 9PM, 7 days a week for coaching if necessary to ensure the success of that plan. The calls are not available as a means for more therapy. They are 5 minutes or shorter and are a means to keep the therapy fresh and effective throughout the time that elapses between sessions.

Services I Provide

• Individual Therapy & Counseling
• Marriage, Couples, or Relationship Counseling
• Family Therapy
• Group Therapy
• Mediation
• Coaching
• Consultation

Ages I Work With

• Adults
• Elders

Languages I Speak

• English

Groups I Work With

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, EMDR, DBT, infertility, grief and loss, Adult Attachment, phobias, panic attacks, anxiety, attacks

Therapy Approaches I Use

• Body-Mind Psychotherapy
• Client-Directed Outcome-Informed Therapy
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy /REBT
• Dialectical Behavioral Therapy
• Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing
• Integration of different therapy models
• Interpersonal Neurobiology
• Mindfulness Based Approaches
• Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy
• Narrative Therapy
• Non-Violent Communication
• Parent Work
• Person Centered / Rogerian
• Positive Psychotherapy
• Psychodynamic
• Self Psychology
• Self Relations
• Solution Focused Therapy

Concerns & Issues I Help With

• Identity Issues
• Attachment
• Reproduction
• Abuse: Emotional, Physical, or Sexual
• Trauma
• Addictions & Compulsions
• Life Changes
• Family Problems
• Childhood & Adolescence
• Health & Body
• Anxiety, Fear, & Stress
• Emotion Management
• Social Skills & Problems
• Depression & Mood
• Occupational & Academic Issues
• Relationships & Marriage
• Self-Esteem & Confidence
• Spirituality
• Self-Harm & Suicide
• Sexuality