My Approach to Helping
Frustrated by roadblocks in a relationship? Ready to make new choices and create understanding, or move on? Looking for warmth, experience and effectiveness in therapy? I nurture self compassion and teach you new ways to understand and respond to problems. Once you identify what helps you feel balanced and empowered, and clarify how your past informs your present, you will have a clear path for growth. I alternate between actively coaching you as you incorporate new insights and behaviors into your life, and supporting you if you choose to do meaningful, deeper work. Clients tell me they appreciate that therapy feels authentic rather than scripted, and they learn successful strategies that create autonomy and a sense of choice in how to deal with their concerns.
The hard part about being in a relationship is simultaneously wanting to feel close to someone and also maintain your independence. When negotiating these desires results in confusion, frustration or hurt, I can help you make sense of your situation and figure out how to meet your needs on your own or share them safely.
I specialize in work with couples and individuals on issues with sex, communication, conflict resolution, codependency, anger management, anxiety, substance abuse, and ADHD. I offer EMDR (a mind-body therapy) to jumpstart movement when clients feel like they're in a holding pattern and want to explore an option other than talk therapy.
More Info About My Practice
I'm available for internet or phone sessions if you can't always come in to my office. We can do occasional phone or video sessions if you travel frequently. As I'm licensed to practice in the state of Minnesota you must be a MN resident to do internet or phone sessions.
My fee is $150 for a 50 minute session for individuals, couples or families. I have a limited number of sliding scale fee openings, based on combined household income.
Specific Issue(s) I'm Skilled at Helping With
I'm an expert in helping you manage relationship challenges - from communication breakdowns, fights and simmering resentments to affairs and sex problems. I see the big picture - your long-term goals and dreams - as well as the smaller, specific skills you and your partner need to feel accepted and loved. I help you inject honesty and diplomacy into your communication style, giving you an effective way to work through emotional issues. I'm like a neutral Switzerland intervening to save you from ongoing, destructive rivalry.
If your sex life could use an upgrade or an overhaul, I'll help you with ideas about bringing confidence and joy back to one of the best ways to feel pleasure. Once you move past the normal "I can't believe I'm talking with a stranger about this" feeling, I have a wealth of information, resources and strategies to share with you. I specialize in helping people feel more at home with their bodies and desires, and working through differences in wants and needs between partners. I understand how sex tends to drop to the bottom of the "to do" list, and how to make it a priority again.
I also specialize in helping you manage anxiety and panic. Is anxiety or worry keeping you up at night, triggering your insecurities, making you doubt your abilities, or telling you it's better to avoid taking risks than be hurt? Work with me to keep it at bay. With some coaching and dedicated practice you'll feel more in control of anxious thoughts and feelings.
What Makes up a Problem?
We depend on other people to nurture, protect and love us. When we have emotionally healthy and resourceful families and communities, we tend to experience the world as a safe place to explore and take risks. When we grow up in less nurturing circumstances we often feel unsure of our ability to navigate life's ups and downs. I understand a person and their challenges in the contexts they've lived in, as well as genetic and biological factors.
It's helpful to see problems as the result of a number of things, some of which we have influence over, and some of which are out of our control. Once you know where your influence lies and get support, you can take better care of yourself and feel more balanced.
Everyone's story is unique, and their solutions are unique as well. That's why talking to a therapist is especially helpful when self-help books, blogs and friends' advice don't seem to make a difference. There's important information about you and your specific experiences that's central to understanding what will make things feel better for you.