John Gottman

Professional Life

Born in 1942, John Mordecai Gottman studied at Lubavitch Yeshiva Elementary in Brooklyn, New York, and was raised as a practicing Orthodox Jew. He is widely known for his work in family and relationship therapy and analysis and marital stability. He is a Professor Emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington and heads The Relationship Research Institute and the Gottman Institute with his wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman. 

 

Gottman is well known for his study predicting the likelihood of divorce in newleyweds. He based his predictions on a technique involving the examination of micro-expressions, human behavior, and emotion derived from theories developed by Paul Ekman. Gottman claims his technique is highly accurate and also states he can determine the likelihood of divorce in marriages that have been intact for nearly a decade. Although these accuracies have been highly debated, the Gottman Institute maintains that the studies conducted were accurately predictive.

 

Contribution to Psychology

Gottman’s theory was explored in Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, by Malcolm Gladwell. In it Gladwell discusses the four emotional factors that Gottman believes can be counterproductive to a healthy marriage: criticism, contempt, stonewalling, and defensiveness. Gottman’s own book, The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work, identifies the behaviors that he has seen in years of studying successful marriages, and those behaviors that can be destructive to a healthy marriage. He discusses in depth the actions a couple can take to ensure a strong and enduring emotionally healthy marriage. The seven principles that he outlines are:

1. A person must identify with the region in the brain in which all of their partner’s information is stored, and calls this the love map.
2. Partner’s must acknowledge, appreciate and respect each other’s differences in order to foster a feeling of admiration and fondness.
3. Never turn away from each other. Instead, be aware of every small accomplishment and issue; and focus on turning inward toward each other to maintain a sense of connectedness that fortifies the foundation of the relationship.
4. Accept your partner’s influence and yield to them while maintaining a sense of individuality. This allows both partners to respect each other’s differences and to understand each other on a much deeper level.
5. Learn to compromise in order to resolve conflict. Gottman stresses five important steps in order to achieve conflict resolution: start-up softly, accept and give repair, comfort each other and yourself, compromise, learn to accept and tolerate each other’s shortcomings.
6. When faced with an unresolvable issue, learn to come to a point of accepting each other’s difference of opinion and offer empathy through communication and respect.
7. Establish a sense of shared meaning. Develop a system of sharing and connectedness that involves values, actions, symbols, roles, and traditions.  

Gottman has published numerous works on marital stability and is the recipient of multiple awards from several of the most recognized and prestigious psychological organizations. His work continues to influence the direction of relationship therapy and impacts thousands of couples each year.

 

Dr. Gottman Featured on GoodTherapy.org

In May, 2010 John Gottman presented The Science of Trust, a GoodTherapy.org Web Conference available to clinicians for CE credits.

 

Connect with Noah on Google+