Therapist Profile

My Approach to Helping

So this woman is walking down the street. She sees a fellow on his hands and knees, examining the sidewalk.
"What are you doing," she asks.
"Looking for my earring," comes the reply.
"Oh, maybe I can help you. Where did you drop it?"
"Across the street."
"But, wait, if you dropped it across the street, why are you looking for it here?"
"Because the light's better."

You might be wondering what this has to do with therapy.

Location, location, location.

Many of you who are on this site are simply looking for a therapist who is in your neighborhood. But is that really the best way? Before Managed Care, with its referrals to a therapist based on zip code, people selected therapists based on those therapists' specific skills, experience, and expertise.

Maybe that's still the best way. Which would be better for you-- a competent generalist who is in your town or village, or someone with the precise expertise to match your needs? Think about it. and as you reflect on what would work best for you, please take some time to read what I have written about my work.

Like other therapists, I received a generalized training, that did not address the special issues that drive so many people to treatment. So I pursued those issues which drove most of my clients to seek help-- lesbian/gay concerns, what it means to be a woman in society, addictions, family histories of abuse and trauma, intimacy skills building, and the many faces of loss, which time alone does not heal. If any of this affects your life, you will not need to educate me about your issue (although I learn from all my clients), I hope you will find it comforting to know that I will be drawing from wide and specific experience and knowledge when I help you.

Do you really want someone in your zip code? Here are some other things to consider:


**** Do you feel weighted down by loss-- deaths, breakups, even those from long ago? Losses of loved ones, companion animals, or physical abilities, expectations, hopes, dreams and aspirations can all cause grieving. We may find it too difficult to express intense grief or too uncomfortable to show "weakness", or those we turn to may tell us to "get over it", to "be strong". Losses through death, endings of relationships, and disappointments can make people reluctant to trust again (because "people leave") or fill them with guilt or anger that seems to have no roots.
No one should grieve alone. I can help you.

**** If all the actresses and singers on TV acts as kissing another girl is ok, then why does are you troubled because you want to do it? Do feelings for another woman feel shameful? Do you struggle with how to tell other people, like your parents? Are you hiding in a heterosexual marriage, holding the secret, not knowing what to do? How do you "come out", anyway? And if straight teenagers get to learn how to date and have relationships, where do people expect you to learn the rules?!!

**** We all live in a social context. What rules apply to you as a woman, and do you accept them? What are the roles that are expected of you, and how have they shaped your attitudes, choices, and behavior? You may feel you must live up to other peoples' expectations unable to assert what you need, unable to understand what boundaries are and how to set them. You may be unable to set limits or say "no." I can help you understand the fears and thoughts that cause you to be unable to be assertive. You deserve to find your power.

**** Are you weighted down by the hurts of your past, or family-of-origin problems. You may not even see how those experiences have crippled you, leaving you unable to have the life you want. Did one of your parents drink too much when you were growing up? Did they hurt you physically, emotionally, or sexually? Was your home chaotic, unsafe, or frightening? Did you have to take care of a parent, or did you have to "grow yourself up"? You may have had to be strong then-- but no child should have to be that strong. Now, you can heal, and have the life you want.

**** What about now? Are there secrets you cannot live with? Feelings you believe you must hide, alcohol use that you don't want anyone to know about-- that are getting heavier by the day. It may look to others as if you have everything a person could want, while you struggle with deep feelings of worthlessness, failure, or sadness. You might be unable to develop or maintain the kinds of relationships you want. Your family may feel like a group of strangers-- or enemies. You may find yourself repeating the same bad patterns, choosing the same wrong partners. With therapy, you can come to understand those patterns, heal from that pain, and change your relationships for the better. I will help you understand and face the pains of your early life, and heal from them, so that you can find better how to protect yourself -- and trust. You can then learn where your own decisions and behaviors get in your own way. I will help you develop the skills necessary to choose and maintain solid relationships.


Many of us face struggles that weight us down and help us back. You are certainly not alone in that. We may trudge along, trying to cope the best you can, but the best you can may not be enough. That does NOT make you a failure-- although it sure can feel that way.

Therapy is such a personal relationship. The most important factor in the success of therapy is the "fit" between therapist and client. Please shop around. Compare several therapists. Only you can know what you need, what works for you, and what you feel. Once you have found the right helper, those answers unfold in the course of a kind of archaeological dig. That dig can result in amazing discoveries, but along the way, it can hurt. It can also be funny. It can be a struggle. But it can also be a release. It can be scary. But it can be freeing as well. In the end, it can be a huge adventure. It is an honor for me to be asked to share that journey.

Change happens!

More Info About My Practice

My book, "Secret Survivors: Uncovering Incest and its Aftereffects in Women" (Ballantine Books) (based on my "Incest Survivors Aftereffects Checklist") has been featured on many TV shows and magazines. The number of survivors I work with is limited, but I offer many related services, including consultations.


Payment is due at the time of the session. My full fee, $160 for those who can afford it, can and will be reduced for those who need it; I'll ask you about that in the phone call when we discuss our working together. After we discuss your situation some portion of your fee may be forgiven.

Insurance companies often place unrealistic limits and demands on providers and clients. These result in horrifying treatment of both clients and therapists, including invasive demands for private information about what has been discussed in sessions, abrupt termination of approvals (and therefore coverage), and denials of the services that clients need. Therefore I do not "participate" in your insurance. ****However, many people can recive "out of network" coverage, and I will help you to submit your claims if that is the case.****