Starting therapy can come with a lot of pressure.
For some people, the pressure comes from not knowing what to expect in a first session. For others, it comes from the fear of being judged, misunderstood, or told how they should be able to handle things on their own. And for many, it comes from a quieter thought that can be even harder to shake: Shouldn’t I be able to do this by myself?
In her Member Spotlight interview, Annette Popernik offers a perspective that feels both grounding and deeply human. She introduces therapy as a conversation where safety is built, and where clients are both validated and challenged. It is a space designed not just to comfort, but to help people better understand themselves and move forward with greater clarity.
What makes Annette’s approach especially meaningful is the care she brings to helping people feel fully themselves in the room. Fluent in English, Spanish, and Italian, she places real importance on both cultural and linguistic awareness in her practice. She encourages clients to express themselves in the language that feels most natural to them, even if that means bringing in words she may need to learn along the way. For Annette, that is part of creating a space where people feel safe, understood, and true to who they are.
That philosophy carries through everything she shared in our conversation: therapy should not feel like a place where you have to perform, translate yourself, or arrive with everything figured out. It should feel like a place where you can begin honestly, be met with care, and explore what growth might look like from there.
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Video Interview: Watch the Conversation with Annette PopernikWatch Annette Popernik’s Member Spotlight interview. |
What should someone know before starting therapy?
Annette describes therapy as a conversation where a safe space is built and where the client is both validated and challenged. That balance is central to her approach. Therapy is not about giving people all the answers. It is about supporting them in a way that helps them reflect more honestly, understand themselves more clearly, and move forward with intention.
For someone starting therapy for the first time, that can be reassuring. You do not need the perfect explanation for why you are there. You do not need to arrive certain about what you feel or what you need. Sometimes, the first step is simply entering a space where the conversation can begin.
Why do people feel like they should handle everything alone?
One of the most relatable parts of Annette’s interview is what she says about the pressure people place on themselves before they ever seek support. She points to the “should” statements many clients carry: I should be able to do this on my own. This should not be a problem. I should have figured this out already.
These thoughts may sound small, but they carry real weight. They can make ordinary struggles feel shameful and turn the need for support into something that feels like failure.
Annette offers a gentler alternative. Therapy can be a place where internal pressures are examined instead of being obeyed. It can help people stop measuring themselves against what they think they should be able to handle and start paying attention to what they need.
Can therapy help even if nothing feels wrong?
Absolutely.
Annette speaks openly about the value of therapy for self-improvement and personal growth, even when life seems fine on the surface. She also makes a simple but powerful point: “…there is something meaningful about having a space where someone is focused entirely on you, what you need, and what is going on in your life.”
That expands the role of therapy in an important way. It does not have to be reserved for crisis, conflict, or burnout. It can also be a place for insight, reflection, and self-care. A place to understand your patterns more clearly. A place to check in with yourself more honestly. A place to build awareness before things become overwhelming.
That perspective is valuable for therapy seekers who may wonder whether their concerns are serious enough, and just as meaningful for therapists who want to show that their work supports not only pain, but also growth.
Why does finding the right therapist matter?
Annette highlights the importance of establishing a connection between the therapist and the client. She sees the relationship between therapist and client as one of the strongest predictors of positive outcomes. That is why finding the right therapist is more than expertise alone. It is also about whether they understand the different layers that shape your life.
She encourages people to look for a therapist who can make space for:
- Cultural background and lived experience
- Spirituality or religion, if it matters to the client
- Chronic pain or disability, when these shape the client’s daily life
- The personal context behind anxiety, grief, relationships, and other challenges
What stands out in Annette’s approach is that she values human connection without making assumptions. Shared identity can help, but real support comes from taking the time to understand each person’s individually lived experiences.
Why do language and cultural awareness matter in therapy?
One of the most distinctive parts of Annette’s practice is the importance she gives to cultural and linguistic awareness. Fluent in English, Spanish, and Italian, she is intentional about creating room for people to express themselves in the language that feels most natural to them.
That matters more than it may seem at first.
People do not always think, feel, or process in perfectly translated language. Sometimes the right word only exists in the language spoken at home. Sometimes a phrase carries emotional meaning that does not fully come through in English. Annette makes space for that. Even when a client uses a word she does not know yet, she is willing to learn it so that the person in front of her does not have to filter themselves to be understood.
This part of her approach offers an important reminder for both therapy seekers and therapists. Feeling safe in therapy is not only about emotional warmth. It is also about being able to show up in ways that feel culturally real and personally natural. The more room there is for that authenticity, the more possible trust becomes.
How can virtual therapy feel safer and more supportive?
Annette also offers a thoughtful perspective on virtual therapy. Instead of seeing it as a lesser version of in-person care, she encourages people to think about how to make it work for them. Her advice is simple: create a space that feels safe.
That could mean settling in with a cup of tea or coffee, a pillow, fuzzy socks, a candle, or anything else that helps your body and mind feel more at ease. In Annette’s view, the physical environment around you matters. When you create a space that feels calm and comforting, that sense of safety can carry into the session itself.
She also points out that virtual therapy offers something unique. In an office or any physical setting, the space is already defined. The room looks the way it is. Nothing much can be done about the walls, the furniture, the setting in which the session takes place. But in virtual therapy, there is more room to shape the environment around your own needs and preferences. That can make the experience feel more inviting, more personal, and more supportive.
What does it mean to grow through therapy?
What stands out most in Annette’s interview is how she does not describe therapy as only soothing or only solution focused. Instead, she sees it as a place where people can be validated while also being challenged.
That distinction matters.
Being validated means your experience is taken seriously. Being challenged means you are not left exactly where you are. Together, those two things create conditions for growth. They allow therapy to feel supportive without becoming passive, and honest without becoming harsh.
For therapy seekers, this offers a helpful way to think about what good therapy can feel like. For therapists, it is a strong reminder that care and accountability can work together in the room.
You do not need to have everything figured out
At the heart of Annette’s interview is a simple but lasting idea: you do not need to have everything figured out before you begin. Therapy can be a place where you let go of some of the pressure to manage everything alone, speak in the words that feel true to you, and explore what support, insight, and growth might look like on your own terms.
Her perspective reminds us that the right therapeutic space is not one where you have to shrink yourself to fit in. It is one where you can feel safe enough to be honest and supported enough to keep evolving.
If Annette’s words resonated with you, explore her GoodTherapy profile to learn more about her approach. If you are still looking for the right fit, browse GoodTherapy’s therapist directory to find a provider whose style, perspective, and approach align with your needs.
FAQs
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Artificial intelligence is revolutionizing mental health support, with millions using ChatGPT and similar AI tools for therapy, emotional guidance, and self-reflection. As a licensed therapist, I’ve observed fascinating trends in how people are integrating AI into their mental wellness routines, from AI journaling to practicing difficult conversations. But is this digital therapy helping or hindering our emotional growth?
Have you ever copied and pasted a long, confusing text message fight into ChatGPT to ask: “Was I being defensive when things got vulnerable?” “Is she trying to repair things, or just in it for free dinners and my hot, smoking body?”
Yeah, me neither.
Or maybe you’ve taken your Hinge banter and dropped it in to get feedback on how to flirt better or seem more like a whole, emotionally available person (with just a touch of mystery)?
Or maybe…just maybe…you’ve fed in work emails to see how you’re perceived professionally. Is your tone confident? Passive-aggressive? Giving “please like me” energy?
And have you gone full emotional archaeologist, handing over whole conversations to ChatGPT to figure out your defenses? Or to ask, “Hey, what attachment style am I giving here?”
I’m not saying I recommend any of this. I’m just saying, people are doing it. And it’s… kinda fascinating.
The Evolution of Digital Mental Health Support
Socrates thought writing things down would rot our brains and kill the art of real dialogue. He might’ve had a point. (Though honestly, I suspect he’d be the kind of guy who talks philosophy in the morning and posts shirtless scrolls on OnlyFans by night. Too much? Yeah, probably.)
Let’s be real, Socrates was the OG of the term brainrot. But it’s worth remembering: every generation panics about new technology. The printing press, the telephone, the internet, they all sparked fear that something essential would be lost. Maybe ChatGPT is just the latest version of that anxiety. Or maybe it is different. Either way, it’s reshaping how we relate, to ourselves, and to each other.
How People Are Using AI for Emotional Support
These large language models (ChatGPT, Claude, Gemini, etc.) are now being used in some surprisingly creative ways for emotional processing and self-reflection. Here are the most common AI therapy applications I’ve observed:
1. AI Journaling and Daily Reflection
People use ChatGPT to reflect on their day, ask why they’re feeling a certain way, or explore situations through a guided conversation. It’s private, it’s instant, and it doesn’t interrupt you with, “Well actually…” This form of digital therapy provides a judgment-free space for processing emotions.
2. Practicing Difficult Conversations
AI has become the go-to coach for hard conversations—breakups, boundaries, boss battles. You can test out how it might sound before you say it aloud. This rehearsal space allows people to build confidence and refine their communication skills without real-world consequences.
3. Emotion Recognition and Translation
Many folks have a hard time naming what they’re feeling. They’ll describe a moment and ask, “What am I feeling here?” ChatGPT helps decode the mess of sensations and reactions into something understandable. This emotional support can be particularly valuable for those who struggle with emotional awareness.
4. Learning Mental Health Concepts
From attachment theory to polyvagal basics, people ask ChatGPT to explain emotional concepts in plain English. Like a mini emotional education, on demand. This democratizes access to mental health education that might otherwise require expensive therapy or courses.
5. Therapeutic Letter Writing
Some write letters to exes, parents, or people who’ve passed. Others go full “Dear Diary, but AI.” It’s cathartic, even if no human ever reads it. This form of AI counseling provides a safe outlet for unexpressed emotions.
6. Inner Dialogue and Self-Therapy
A few get wild and ask ChatGPT to be their “angry part” or “scared part.” Then they dialogue between parts to try and understand what’s going on inside. It’s like DIY IFS (Internal Family Systems)… with a robot.
The Benefits of AI Mental Health Tools
AI therapy tools offer several advantages over traditional mental health support:
- 24/7 Availability: Unlike human therapists, AI is always accessible
- Cost-Effective: No insurance requirements or hourly fees
- Privacy: No judgment or social stigma
- Immediate Response: Instant feedback and support
- Consistency: Always patient and non-reactive
Research published in NEJM AI found that people with depression experienced a 51% average reduction in symptoms when using an AI therapy chatbot, with improvements comparable to traditional outpatient therapy.
Concerns About AI Mental Health Support
That said, I do have concerns about using ChatGPT for therapy. One that nags at me: these models are programmed to be nice, maybe too nice. Recent research from Stanford University shows that AI therapy chatbots can introduce biases and failures that could result in dangerous consequences. But here’s the catch: it’s extremely flattering. It always assumes the best about you. Which begs the question… are these AI therapy tools truly helping us grow, or just confirming what we want to hear?
When you put your deepest insecurities into a chatbot and it immediately praises your self-awareness and emotional strength, is that insight, or just ego candy?
If the feedback is always positive, is it still honest? Multiple studies on AI mental health tools reveal both promising benefits and significant ethical challenges concerning privacy, bias mitigation, and the preservation of the human element in therapy.
And as my daughter (tech wizard and robotic builder) likes to remind me: “Just so you know, none of that stuff you type is private.” So maybe hold off before feeding it every emotional breakdown you’ve had since the Bush administration.
AI Therapy vs Traditional Therapy: What’s Missing?
Still… I’ve seen people get real insights—moments of clarity—from the right prompt. “What are my defenses in this argument?” or “How might my past be influencing this current dynamic?” can lead to moments of reflection that would take longer in a 50-minute session.
However, research indicates that AI therapy chatbots can show increased stigma toward certain mental health conditions and may respond inappropriately to crisis situations like suicidal ideation.
But I’m also deeply saddened by what might be getting lost. Instead of calling a friend to talk through a fight and maybe deepen the relationship, we type into a machine. Instead of messy, vulnerable connection, we seek out tidy digital affirmation. This shift away from human connection and authentic relationships could have long-term implications for our emotional development. Socrates (our beloved OnlyFans philosopher) might be banging his head against the wall over the state of modern discourse.
Covid taught us that we need each other. That we need touch. Real conversation. The kind of presence that doesn’t come from pixels. Just as social media affects our mental health in complex ways, AI therapy tools may be creating new patterns of digital dependency.
According to research published in PMC, while AI shows promise for early identification of mental health risks and treating large volumes of patients, significant concerns exist about bias leading to inaccurate assessments and perpetuation of stereotypes.
The Future of Digital Mental Health
So is ChatGPT a helpful emotional tool? Or another layer of isolation dressed up as insight? Does it give us language for what we feel or quietly flatten it to something easier to digest?
Maybe both. I don’t have a final answer. But I’m deeply curious. Because what we do with our pain and how we make sense of it matters. Whether that’s with a therapist, a friend, a notebook, or yes… a really smart machine.
The key is finding balance. AI therapy tools can be valuable supplements to human connection and professional mental health care, but they shouldn’t replace the irreplaceable elements of human empathy, professional expertise, and genuine relationship. Consider exploring traditional therapy approaches alongside AI tools for a comprehensive approach to mental wellness.
Frequently Asked Questions About AI Therapy
Is ChatGPT a replacement for therapy?
No, ChatGPT and AI tools should complement, not replace, professional therapy. While AI can provide emotional support and self-reflection opportunities, licensed therapists offer specialized training, ethical guidelines, and the human connection essential for deeper healing.
Is it safe to share personal information with AI?
While AI tools can be helpful, remember that your conversations may not be private. Avoid sharing highly sensitive information and consider AI therapy as a supplement to, not a replacement for, professional mental health care.
What are the benefits of AI therapy tools?
AI therapy tools offer 24/7 availability, cost-effectiveness, privacy, and immediate support. They’re particularly useful for journaling, practicing conversations, and learning about mental health concepts. Meta-analyses confirm that computer-aided cognitive behavioral therapy delivered via apps is equivalent to or even more effective than standard CBT for certain conditions.
Can AI therapy help with serious mental health conditions?
For serious mental health conditions like depression, anxiety disorders, or trauma, professional therapy is essential. AI tools can provide additional support but should never replace evidence-based treatment from qualified professionals. Find a licensed professional near you.Â
How Therapists Are Using EMDR in Telehealth Sessions
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, commonly referred to by its initials EMDR, is well-known as a model of therapy. This type of therapy was created to treat individuals suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and trauma-related mental illness. Since its invention, it has been proven to help with other disorders and mental illnesses as well such as anxiety, phobias, sleep irregularities, and chronic pain.
Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, mental health providers have had to adapt EMDR to a telehealth format. A treatment that is traditionally done in person, this modality has required providers to innovate ways to deliver this treatment to patients over video chat. What are therapists doing to effectively adapt EMDR online?
The Pandemic and Telehealth
The coronavirus pandemic prompted mental and behavioral health providers to transition their care delivery to be primarily online. Telehealth has broken down several of the existing barriers to mental health services like travel, transportation, and scheduling. More individuals than ever before have access to mental health care. While this tool has revolutionized the delivery of mental health services, it has posed some challenges as well. Not every kind of treatment is easy to deliver when the client and therapist are separated by a screen.
How EMDR Works
This type of therapy works by mimicking how your brain processes emotions through directed eye movements. It aims to enable someone to reprocess difficult experiences and emotions and transition them out of the fight-flight-freeze-fawn response.
How EMDR Is Being Adapted to Online Therapy
The pandemic has moved most mental health services online. This has prompted major challenges for providers who regularly utilize EMDR in therapy. Traditionally, EMDR in therapy is done in person through the utilization of bilateral stimulation tools. How are providers adapting this to a virtual therapy setting?
Screen Sharing
Some providers are utilizing screen sharing options to continue delivering EMDR therapy. This tool allows them to share with their client what they wish them to focus on. This enables the therapist to control the left to right visual stimulation.
Patient Instructions
Providers have also tried delivering EMDR in therapy by asking patients to try different methods of stimulation like tapping on their legs. This is more difficult because the provider does not have control over the speed, start, and stop of the process.
Issues Providers Might Run Into
The nature of EMDR is to help clients process trauma. It is best to do this in person so you have control over the client’s environment and safety. This kind of therapy can often trigger trauma responses and crisis-level reactions that a therapist would normally be present to help navigate. Online EMDR therapy removes these safety options.
Providers are also used to seeing the client’s entire body movements. This helps them read whether or not a client is becoming too overwhelmed. Online therapy makes this difficult as providers can only see the top half of their client’s body.
Providers are navigating these issues and complications to practicing EMDR virtually through the use of emergency contact information. If they believe their client is in danger or at risk, they can contact their designated emergency contact.
Therapists everywhere are doing an incredible job transitioning to online care during unprecedented times. To learn more about a therapist in your area, click here.
By Dr. Victoria Raymond, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
5 Tips to Help You Get the Most Out of Your Virtual Therapy Session
Virtual therapy sessions are the new normal. Our lives have changed profoundly in the past few months. As we continue to process the impacts of this pandemic, I believe we might be developing a new normal in the field of psychology: virtual therapy. (It’s got a lot of synonyms, including online therapy, telehealth therapy, telemental health, and teletherapy.)
I have been offering virtual therapy appointments to clients for years. My clients are professionals, parents, couples, and students. They prefer virtual sessions for a variety of reasons, including flexibility in scheduling and the convenience of connecting from their own home, completely cutting out commute time.
The concept of privacy is especially important in therapy, as the therapeutic relationship between client and therapist relies on the principles of confidentiality. Many of my clients are physicians, attorneys, entrepreneurs, and executives who are well-known in the local community. These clients often prefer virtual sessions, as it eliminates the risk of seeing patients or clients of their own in a therapist’s office. The ability to choose this option for telehealth therapy increases their privacy.Â
If you are thinking about beginning virtual therapy or want more out of your telehealth sessions, here are some tips to help you fully benefit from your sessions.Â
 1. Find a Private Space
Sometimes you may need to get creative – especially if you have a partner or roommate also working from home, little ones running around, or are in the office – in order to find a place to be alone. Your car parked somewhere private, can be a great option. Other clients like to sit on their balcony or patio or take walks while we speak. It is important to find a space where you feel free to express yourself authentically, without fear of being overheard or seen. Some of my clients schedule our appointments on their shared calendars as a recurring meeting and therefore can avoid any questions from colleagues or family.
2. Set The Scene…and Yourself
Take a few moments before each session to center yourself. Oftentimes, when attending in-person therapy sessions, clients will sit in the waiting room for a few minutes, sipping tea and gathering their thoughts before the session begins. With virtual sessions, it is helpful to give yourself a few minutes prior to the appointment to prepare. I suggest that clients set a reminder for 5-10 minutes before their appointment time; this way they can set up a comfortable space, get themselves some water or tea, and take a few calming breaths. This is also a useful time to review any notes you may have taken between sessions.Â
 3. Check Your Connectivity
Try to figure out where you have the strongest internet connection. If WiFi is acting up, switch over to data. If neither one is working, switch to the phone. One thing this pandemic is teaching us: Flexibility is key. It is helpful to keep your devices (including headphones) charged so you can approach your session with mindfulness and be fully present- and not worrying about whether your phone battery is too low.Â
 4. Give Feedback
Please tell your therapist if you cannot see or hear, if the connection is bad, or if your dog barking in the background is distracting you. We want to make this the best possible experience for you; so please be honest.Â
 5. Be Yourself
One of the best parts of virtual therapy is that it allows clients to feel comfortable in their surroundings: Wear your most comfy sweats, wrap up in your favorite blanket, stay in your sweaty gym clothes, have your furry friends close by (I love meeting my clients’ pets!). We are more likely to be open and authentic – and to talk about things we really need to talk about – when we feel most comfortable. Telemental health offers a unique opportunity to lean into this – take advantage of it!
To start your search for a therapist who offers virtual therapy, click here to search your area and then filter your results by the Type of Service “Telehealth.”