Many people are so unhappy that they find a therapist or counselor to work through their struggles. Plenty more people are content enough with their lives. But some are truly happy. Where does that happiness come from? Does money buy it? Self-confidence? Safety? Support systems? A fulfilling job? Pets? Everyone’s combination of life experience is different, but repeated studies have identified that some groups tend to be happier than others. Recent studies have looked a bit closer at the happiness quotient of two specific (though very different) groups: people who live in “walkable” neighborhoods, and people who are involved in church. Both had one major factor in common: human relationships.

First, churchgoers. Religion’s “secret ingredient” for making people happy, says the study, is the social ties people build when involved in a religious community. This is not to say that private spirituality is without positive psychological value; past studies have found that spirituality reduces both stress and depression. But those who attend church and build relationships there are consistently happier than those who attend and do not build relationships. Second, the study on walkable neighborhoods and well-being. Walkable neighborhoods provide easy access to post offices, parks, restaurants, playgrounds, barbershops, and club meeting venues. People who live in walkable neighborhoods tend to build “social capital” – they are more likely to meet people, become involved in community volunteer work, build relationships through that work, and ultimately feel happier. (more…)

What prompted this article was something I read recently in AARP Magazine. (I guess I’m dating myself with that one!)

“The older you are, the more likely you are to value religion, says a new Pew Research Center survey, ‘Growing Old in America.’ Do religious folks outlive their secular age-mates? Maybe. Earlier research indicates that people who worship regularly follow a healthier lifestyle and share a life-lengthening social network. And for some, faith grows with age: a third of those 65-plus said religion became more important over the course of their lives.” (AARP Magazine, November and December 2009).

What’s interesting to me is, not so much whether or not interest in religion grows with age, but WHY?

I can come up with a few reasons:

1. One obvious reason might be that as people age, they are more aware of their mortality. It takes a certain amount of years and experiences to fully appreciate that they do not live in human form forever. Though it is not true that all young people feel like they will live forever. There are many youthful folks who have been exposed to death at an early age, and, as a result, have become aware of their own mortality. But, for most of us, it is an awareness that increases with age.

2. Another reason might be that, as people age, some become more reflective about their lives. This makes sense because there has been more life on which to reflect. As people get older, they tend to think about what that life has meant, and what they will leave behind. Those thoughts often get people thinking about what does happen when they die. This may be what inspires many people to think about some kind of higher power or divine force who, perhaps, rewards us for a life well-lived (or conversely punishes for a life lived badly), or who might be available to help make the transition.

3. When people think of their mortality, most don’t want to be alone as they make that transition to the other side. That’s when someone might turn to spirituality and/or religion for support. People know instinctively that no human will be with them as they cross over, but perhaps the divine will be there. So, some of this increased importance on religion may be driven by fear.

4. Another possibility is that the focus of older people is different from younger folks. In their twenties and thirties, much of the focus is on establishing themselves professionally and personally. What will they do? How will they support themselves? How will they acquire what they need and want? What about having a family? These questions often preoccupy them for a certain length of time. In their forties and fifties, they often are just living the life they have created. Perhaps in their sixties, many people begin to realize that they want more from life than just the acquisition of material things and status. Perhaps this is a result of gaining a certain amount of experience with the transitory nature of life. This may lead them to turn to religion and spirituality as an opportunity to get some answers about life’s deeper meaning.

5. Lastly, some people, as they get older, finally stop being reactive to the values and choices of their family of origin, and start to think about their own about spirituality and religion. I’ve worked with a number of individuals in my spiritual psychotherapy practice who say that they were so focused on distancing themselves from the religion of their parents, that they did not think about their own choices in this realm. Finally, with more confidence in themselves and true emotional separation from their parents, they were able to think about this for themselves.