[fat_widget_right]It may seem illogical to ask an entire family to attend therapy when only one member of the family appears to be causing problems or experiencing challenges. Understanding how a family dynamic can change when there is an imbalance, however, is essential to understanding why having the whole family in therapy might actually be the most effective way to help the family member who is in distress. Below, therapists discuss the role of family members in family therapy:
Deborah Klinger, MA, LMFT, CEDS: Family therapy is based on family systems theory, which is in turn based on general systems theory. Systems theory says that living things function within groups that have an interdependent relationship to one another, and operate within that relationship so as to maintain a balance. For example, an ecosystem might comprise sunlight, trees, water, fish, and algae. If one part of that system changes—say, the trees are clear-cut—it affects the rest of the system. Fewer tress means more sunlight on the water, which means more algae, which means fewer fish.
In families, each member is part of the larger system, which is both influenced by the dynamics of the system and influences the dynamics of the system. When one person changes in some way, it affects all members of the family in some way. The way that each family member reacts to this, in turn, affects all other family members.
The strong, innate desire for a system to maintain balance means that family members react to a given family member’s changes in a way that will help them try to maintain that balance. Change can be hard for everyone, and people often fear the unknown, so family members tend to respond to change in a way that keeps them on familiar footing. If one member of a family has a problem for which therapy would be helpful, there’s a much greater likelihood that positive, healthy change will come if all members of the family participate in therapy. If the family member with the problem is a child, then family therapy is usually much more effective than individual therapy, because parents are the most important and influential people in a child’s life, and the problems a child has can only be resolved with the help and support of involved parents.
Sometimes the individual’s problem is the manifestation of other less obvious problems in the family. Just as fish dying is the indirect result of trees having been clear-cut, one family member’s problem may result indirectly from another member’s issues. Tackling the problem as a whole system can make a huge difference. When families learn skills for handling problems and navigating change together, the chances for real and lasting change increase greatly.