My Approach to Helping
Talking about sex and problematic sexual behaviors is often stigmatized by society, family or culture. My main goal is provide a safe place where one can openly discuss sexual concerns and we can work together to determine if they are problematic or to discuss the impact of another's sexual behaviors on you. Too often, it is assumed that therapy around sexual addiction or sexuality is about stopping one's sexual behavior. Here, we work to define your sexuality as an individual. Work may include trauma focused work in order to gain access to underlying concerns, or it may involve sex education to best claim your sexuality. Working with loved ones of sex addicts, including parents, often includes shame reduction and healthy boundary work. Whatever the work is, you are part of the treatment team and the most important part of guiding therapy.
More Info About My Practice
I also have experience in working with physicians with boundary issues or disruptive issues. Often these professionals need guidance and education around boundary setting, self-care and emotional regulation. The goal is to not pathologize the issues but understand the whole system and the person for one to have a happy and healthy work-life balance.
Specific Issue(s) I'm Skilled at Helping With
Have you been labeled as personality disordered? How did you feel about that? While I do specialize in working with personality disorders, it may not be what you think. I believe that these "disorders" are brought about because the behaviors or thinking styles were adaptive at one point in time. We need to honor that you learned how to survive first before trying to change how you think or behave. If you want to stop pushing people away, seeing the world as dangerous, and learn to love living in the gray with other people as authentically as you can, I might be able to help.
Had a Negative Therapy Experience?
Often clients are hesitant to open up about sex or sex addiction. For partners, it can be equally difficult to seek therapy. When therapy goes wrong, clients can feel blamed, unheard, traumatized, controlled or rushed into making decisions. For clients with sexual addiction issues, the goal of treatment is not to stop the behaviors but to truly understand why the behaviors exist. Treatment for sexual disorders is not one sized fits all as sexuality is not one size fits all. Treatment has to be collaborative and without judgment. For partners, the goal is often to allow a space to be heard, and to be empowered. Treatment is not about making decisions but learning what your needs are and then how to implement them on your terms.