How to Stop Misophonia From Ruining Your Relationship

December 6, 2018
By GoodTherapy Staff

Misophonia, sometimes called selective sound sensitivity syndrome, is sensitivity to specific sounds. Some common triggers include eating sounds such as chewing, throat sounds, nasal sounds such as a person blowing their nose, and repetitive noises such as tapping or clicking a pen.

While it is a potentially challenging symptom, misophonia is not a mental health diagnosis. Recent research indicates that 4.6% of U.S. adults experience clinical levels of misophonia, though 78.5% report sensitivity to misophonic sounds to some degree.

Misophonia can be extremely distressing both to the person with misophonia and their loved ones. It can cause conflict in relationships and make it difficult for couples to go to certain public places. In addition, sensitivity to the sounds a romantic partner makes may feel hurtful or critical to the partner who is making them.

How Misophonia Impacts Relationships

People with misophonia may struggle to gain understanding and acceptance from their partner. A partner might dismiss the misophonia, arguing the person is being too sensitive or controlling. The person with misophonia may also be critical of their partner when they make noises perceived to be annoying.

In relationships, misophonia can be a source of conflict, hurt feelings, and criticism on both sides. Some common issues include:

Parenting children together. Many children make loud, annoying, or repetitive noises. This can make it difficult to equitably distribute the parenting load and may also cause the person with misophonia to be angry or impatient with the child.
Going out in public. Common misophonia triggers include the sounds of people eating, clicking sounds such as pens and clocks, sounds associated with driving and traffic, and other people’s body sounds.
Eating together. Many people with misophonia are sensitive to sounds such as chewing and silverware scraping against a plate.
Understanding and identifying misophonia. The partner of a person with misophonia may think their partner is exaggerating or being excessively critical. The person with misophonia may not understand that their sensitive reaction to sounds is not typical.

A person with misophonia isn’t just annoyed by certain sounds; they find these sounds intolerable.

According to Melissa Klass, LMFT, the emotional impact of misophonia often gets misunderstood in relationships. “Partners sometimes assume the reaction is about them or their behavior, when in reality the nervous system is reacting very quickly to a specific sound,” Klass explains. “Part of the work in couples therapy is helping both people understand that the reaction is real while also finding ways for the couple to respond to triggers without shame or blame.”

Some even describe the sensation as physically painful, while others experience revulsion and disgust. In the context of a relationship, both partners may feel they have to plan their lives around misophonia. When a partner of a person with misophonia makes a triggering sound, they may feel judged, shamed, and criticized.

Misophonia Relationship Tips

People with misophonia may be able to improve their relationships by:

Talking openly with their partner about their misophonia. Clear communication about triggers and needs can help partners understand and support each other.
Seeking individual treatment for misophonia. Research demonstrates that CBT can effectively reduce distress related to tinnitus, hyperacusis, and misophonia.
Ruling out medical causes. Studies suggest that 12% of patients with misophonia also have tinnitus, Autism, sensory processing disorder, and other diagnoses may also play a role in misophonia.
Talking about how certain sounds make you feel rather than blaming or shaming your partner. Expressing disgust at the sound of chewing can be hurtful. Telling your partner that loud chewing makes you feel anxious or overwhelmed, even when you love the other person, is often more productive.
Practicing strategies for managing your emotional reactions. Deep breathing, visualization, and positive affirmations, for example, may help with angry reactions to everyday sounds.
Identifying your misophonia triggers. The more specific you can get, the better. One strategy for coping with misophonia is to slowly expose yourself to your triggers at low doses and in low-stress situations. This strategy works best with the help of a therapist or doctor.
Try carrying earplugs when you go out in public. This may enable you and your partner to enjoy yourselves in public settings that might otherwise prove difficult or overwhelming.
“When couples talk about misophonia, the goal isn’t to eliminate every trigger immediately,” says Melissa Klass, LMFT. “The goal is helping partners shift from reacting to each other toward working together against the trigger itself.”

People in relationships with partners who have misophonia can support their relationship and partner by:

Taking misophonia seriously. If your partner says they cannot stand a sound, believe them and empathize with their emotions. Your partner may feel panic, rage, or pain in response to sounds that are neutral or only mildly annoying to you.
Practicing self-care. If your partner is unable to go to certain places or do activities that you enjoy, do them on your own or recruit a friend.
Separating your partner’s reaction to sounds from their feelings about you. It can be hurtful if your partner dislikes a sound you make, such as chewing or clicking a pen. This reaction is about the sound, not their feelings for you.
Making reasonable accommodations for your partner’s needs. If you make a sound your partner cannot tolerate—such as chewing with your mouth open—it’s easy to feel defensive. But when this sound is something you can easily change, try to do so. People make many changes, small and large, in relationships. Reminding yourself of this fact can make it easier to change the sounds you make.
Helping your partner identify misophonia triggers. Try to narrow to a list of specific triggers. For example, “traffic sounds” is vague and make numerous public outings difficult. Disliking squealing tires is more specific. Specific information makes it easier to work around your partner’s sound sensitivities.

Recent research shows both short-term and long-term efficacy of CBT for misophonia, with 37% showing clinical improvement. However, treatment approaches continue to evolve as researchers better understand this condition.

Couples Counseling and Misophonia

Individual counseling may help a person with misophonia better understand their diagnosis and triggers, develop coping skills, and perhaps even overcome their triggers through progressive exposure.

Couples counseling can help partners understand one another’s needs and may empower both partners to stop misophonia from undermining their relationship and quality of life. A compassionate therapist may:

Help couples strategize ways to work around the misophonia. This might include creating quiet spaces at home or developing signals for when triggers occur.
Support partners in better-balancing family and household labor when misophonia makes certain tasks—such as caring for a crying baby—difficult.
Empathize with one another’s emotions. People with misophonia may feel dismissed and poorly understood by their partners, who may feel criticized or judged for their own sounds or resentful that misophonia limits the activities they can do together.
Foster productive communication that avoids blame and shame. Learning to discuss triggers and needs without defensiveness benefits both partners.
Teach couples skills to foster intimacy and closeness even when some outings and tasks are impossible.

The right therapist helps both partners feel respected and safe. Therapists offer solutions without judgment in the privacy of a completely confidential session and can help you set goals that align with your values. Find a therapist near you who can help.

Aazh, H. (2025). Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for Managing Tinnitus, Hyperacusis, and Misophonia: The 2025 Tonndorf Lecture. Brain Sciences, 15(5), 526. https://doi.org/10.3390/brainsci15050526
Dixon, L. J., Schadegg, M. J., Clark, H. L., Sevier, C. J., & Witcraft, S. M. (2024). Prevalence, phenomenology, and impact of misophonia in a nationally representative sample of U.S. adults. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 133(5), 403-412. https://doi.org/10.1037/abn0000904
Guzick, A. G., Rast, C. E., Maddox, B. B., Rodriguez Barajas, S., et al. (2023). Clinical characteristics, impairment, and psychiatric morbidity in 102 youth with misophonia. Journal of Affective Disorders, 323, 728-738.
Jager, I. J., Vulink, N. C., Bergfeld, I. O., van Loon, A. J., & Denys, D. (2021). Cognitive behavioral therapy for misophonia: A randomized clinical trial. Depression and Anxiety, 38(7), 708-718. https://doi.org/10.1002/da.23127
Palumbo, D. B., Alsalman, O., Ridder, D. D., Song, J., & Vanneste, S. (2018). Misophonia and potential underlying mechanisms: A Perspective. Frontiers in Psychology, 9. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00953
Pfeiffer, E., Allroggen, M., & Sachser, C. (2024). The prevalence of misophonia in a representative population-based survey in Germany. Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology, 60, 257-264. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00127-024-02707-0
Rosenthal, M. Z., Anand, D., Cassiello-Robbins, C., et al. (2022). Misophonia, psychiatric symptoms, and lifetime prevalence of psychiatric disorders in a large sample. Comprehensive Psychiatry, 115, 152302.

References:

Aazh, H. (2025). Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for Managing Tinnitus, Hyperacusis, and Misophonia: The 2025 Tonndorf Lecture. Brain Sciences, 15(5), 526. https://doi.org/10.3390/brainsci15050526
Dixon, L. J., Schadegg, M. J., Clark, H. L., Sevier, C. J., & Witcraft, S. M. (2024). Prevalence, phenomenology, and impact of misophonia in a nationally representative sample of U.S. adults. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 133(5), 403-412. https://doi.org/10.1037/abn0000904
Guzick, A. G., Rast, C. E., Maddox, B. B., Rodriguez Barajas, S., et al. (2023). Clinical characteristics, impairment, and psychiatric morbidity in 102 youth with misophonia. Journal of Affective Disorders, 323, 728-738.
Jager, I. J., Vulink, N. C., Bergfeld, I. O., van Loon, A. J., & Denys, D. (2021). Cognitive behavioral therapy for misophonia: A randomized clinical trial. Depression and Anxiety, 38(7), 708-718. https://doi.org/10.1002/da.23127
Palumbo, D. B., Alsalman, O., Ridder, D. D., Song, J., & Vanneste, S. (2018). Misophonia and potential underlying mechanisms: A Perspective. Frontiers in Psychology, 9. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00953
Pfeiffer, E., Allroggen, M., & Sachser, C. (2024). The prevalence of misophonia in a representative population-based survey in Germany. Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology, 60, 257-264. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00127-024-02707-0
Rosenthal, M. Z., Anand, D., Cassiello-Robbins, C., et al. (2022). Misophonia, psychiatric symptoms, and lifetime prevalence of psychiatric disorders in a large sample. Comprehensive Psychiatry, 115, 152302.

The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org.