What's My Approach to Therapy?
We don't just give you tools. You know the ones. The tools that work fine on New Year's Day and two weeks after. Or on your days off. Or when you are home hermitting. Or when everything is going fine enough (okay, -ish) with your romantic partner, with your narcissistic mother, with your boss, with your creative project, with the news turned off.
But THEN...
Monday comes. Your heart got broken. Your mom shows up in your messages. Your boss calls you into their office. You HAVE TO look at your news feed (because the world might come to an end and you could have known about it last Tuesday). You know. LITERALLY ANYTHING that overwhelms you, upsets you, judges you, shames you, drains you. And your tools go out the window. Tools? What tools?
And, notice that I didn't even address your creativity, because that went out the window on New Year's Day!
Shit. Why? Because your nervous system DOESN'T CARE ABOUT Tools! Tools? What tools.
But then... HEYOKA.
Wouldn't it be nice if your mother couldn't bother you? Wouldn't it be nice if your own parts would quit sabotaging you? It would be so nice! All that time you used to spend scrolling, shopping, gaming, streaming, burned out, stressed out, micro-dosing, brain-fogged, hyper focused, anxious, depleted, sick, and depressed.
And notice that I didn't even address your Empathic Co-dependency, because having to fixhelpsolveheal EVERYTHING AND EVERYBODY is your mode of operation Every Day.
WHY Heyoka? And why does she keep typing caps-lock?
Because We Heal Nervous Systems (not just your nerves).
So then...
You can Move Beyond Trauma...and Drama...and Bullshit...and Your Own Part-icular Patterns and Stuckness and Coping and Nonsense.
And THEN... (oh my, then)... that REALLY would be nice. But how? But what does this really mean? But is any of that really possible? But you don't know me, though, Sherry. And you REALLY don't know my MOTHER. (Or insert the name of your difficult person about here.) Would you like to tell me more so we can find out together if this would really work for you? Contact me. We'll set up a time for a quick phone call. Happy to listen, and I'll give you my honest assessment.
Curious about anything else? The meaning or further exploration of something you read here? Whether we'd be a good fit? How this might be different from other therapy or other therapists you've had? Whether I've ever worked with another person like you, or a situation like you have? Or maybe you just really wanted to know the answer to why I typed in caps-lock? Contact me. We'll get you set up for that as well.
And P.S. Sometimes people don't know what they want or need when they call. They just know they are compelled to do it.
My Practice & Services
We now have offices in Royal Oak and Lansing, and we continue to offer telehealth.
We happily accept your Blue Cross Blue Shield PPO plans, but please do not confuse your "Blue Care Network," Blue Cross Advantage," or "Blue Cross Complete" plan as a Blue Cross PPO. Insurance gets more confusing each year, and I'll help you make sense of your plan. If you aren't sure if your plan is PPO, please ask me.
No insurance? We do accept private pay clients. (Some therapists don't.) Although most of our clients tend to stick around a while as we spin further and further toward the very core of things, we are also known for working quickly and accurately, and our clients can and do experience noticeable results, often within their first weeks of treatment. Let's see if we can make something work for you.
If we find we are not a good fit for insurance reasons (or for any other reasons), then I'll make suggestions to other therapists you might be able to work with, if I am capable of doing so. Even if I do not know of a specific therapist recommendation, I will definitely be able to guide you toward how to continue your search.
Specific Issue(s) I'm Skilled at Helping With
Introverts
Hermits
Creative Types
"Empaths" (as an identity - capital E air quotes. This is different from having empathy)
Outcasts
The Tower Card always comes up.
"I hate people." or "I hate stupid people." (Be honest.)
Chronic Post Traumatic Stress (A.K.A. Death by Papercuts)
Perfectionistic People Pleasers (who, according to others or maybe even themselves, can never get it right)
Anxious Overwhelmed Notices EVERYTHING and Overthinks Anything (rinse and repeat, this is endless)
Highly Intelligent People
Do you feel like you're worthless?
Family Drama and Family Trauma
Codependent Relationships (I take care of everybody but nobody ever does the same for me. I don't get it.)
Betrayal that Feels like Abandonment (I don't like you when you are you. Be what I want you to be or I will punish you, shame you, or withdraw my love.)
Relationships with Narcissists or Borderlines
You're too nice.
I don't want to have BOUNDARIES or do my own thing because then I would be SELFISH (and people might not like me).
You became "The Parent" at a young age.
You could "feel" what needed to be done before you even learned to speak, and you took care of it. You still do this and have done it all your life. This is normal to you.
You were expected to "Perform and Excel" at grades, music, sports, etc.
Highly Sensitive People (people who are genetically born with a more sensitively tuned central nervous system. This is different from being an Empath. These two often, but do not always, go hand in hand.)
You're feeling so Angry! (but you won't show it, or for some of you even own it, you just stuff it, clench your jaw, and often become angry with your own self instead)
Deep longing ~ Sadness that is not easily remedied or relieved ~ Chronic "Missing"
No Meaning ~ No Purpose ~ Existential Problems (often said: "I'm not suicidal, but I have no real interest in living.")
Palliative Care ~ End of Life Review ~ Memoir
The Abandoned ~ The Bereaved ~ Those Left Behind
Or, to sum it up, we could just say: You don't belong here. ~Ouch.
Fun Fact: Do you know that every physical pain and illness is linked up with mental, emotional, environmental, and spiritual factors? The majority of our clients have at least one auto-immune disease.
Chronic Pain, particularly Centralized Pain Conditions (also known as: "We don't know what's wrong with you.")
Invisible Illnesses, Autoimmune Diseases (also called: "You don't look sick!" Often involve years of hearing from the medical community and loved ones that "there's nothing wrong with you.")
Whole Person Practices Addressing Health and Healing
How Psychotherapy Can Help
Underneath it all at Heyoka, we are doing depth therapy, trauma therapy, somatic therapy, relational therapy, archetypal therapy, shadow work therapy, internal family systems (or "parts") therapy, grief therapy, biology of trauma therapy, intuitive therapy, and contemplative therapy. You don't need to know what all of these mean because I do, and that's my job (although I know most of you, and you'll probably go look them up regardless). Why did I just say that great big mouthful of therapeutic modalities, then, that I went on to say didn't matter for you to know anyway? To say that THIS work is not for the faint of heart. It is designed for those who want permanent, deep, and lasting healing, and not just a quick fix or result. As one client put it during a treatment review, when we were both marveling at all they had accomplished, and I, in good humor, commented about our humble beginnings together, they said, "Oh, Sherry! I knew it was going to be no walk in the park with you, the very first time I met you. I knew even then, I had to do this. That it was going to be so worth it." And it was. That's what it's like around here.
My View on the Purpose of Psychotherapy
"For you to become a living demonstration in the world of who you are." This doesn't usually make much sense at first. So if it doesn't now, you are in good company! But the more it gets said as I see you "becoming you" through the therapy process, we will have the opportunity to explore its meaning and celebrate you "as you" more and more and more and more. And I tend to point this out many times in the course of our work together, when I notice you REALLY being your True Self, the one you were always destined, or meant to be. It is not a developing who you are, but a remembering who you are, so natural to yourself that you hardly even notice at first, it feels so natural. It feels good to have someone to see it for you while you are still practicing how to see it yourself. It also works in reverse. When you are in a tailspin of getting caught back up in the drama and trauma it always used to be, it is good to have someone to remind you that this so often is the course of action, literally just before you are uplevelling into something better and something more. Your parts and your nervous system freak out just a little, and they take you into all of the same patterns that always used to work in all the same ways they all did before. It is good to know this is normal and you are okay at times like these. Without knowing, you might judge yourself harshly because you thought you were doing well and now, what the did you do so wrong? Or you may even quit therapy because you assume it is not working after all, and you may wonder what I did wrong? All at the very moment your therapy was working for you the most, and your breakthrough was so near!
My Role as a Therapist
I am a Dangerous Old Woman Being Peace in Troubled Times and Bringing Calm to Troubled Minds
My Guiding Ethical Principles
That's simple. To care. I can't tell you how many clients have quickly said that unlike some other therapists they had tried, "I actually seem to care about them". And it's true. You can do amazing things with your life with someone by your side who truly cares.
On the Fence About Going to Therapy?
The first 20 minutes by phone are free for those who are interested in therapy services. If we fit, great! We'll talk about the next step. If we feel another therapist would be just right for you; we'll acknowledge that and I'll wish you well. That's fine too. (I take the "anti-sales" sales approach.) Either way, I promise you will leave with something from those 20 minutes that you did not have before.
Had a Negative Therapy Experience?
Most of my clients have. Or they had good therapy experiences but feel like they went as far as they could go with that. Sometimes clients feel like they have talked about every single thing in therapy that they could possibly talk about, and they don't know why they still feel like something is wrong. Other times therapy was quite successful and life is very stable and good for them and that's when their body and mind go into a complete panic that they can't get rid of and can't make any sense out of. This is when I'll often get a call.
Although I do get some clients that are new to therapy, this is not "newbie therapy."
How My Own Struggles Made Me a Better Therapist
Some therapists are taught to never talk about themselves in therapy, and that the focus should be 110% on the client. But how can we bond like that? The relationship between us IS the therapy. My past and my inner makeup are significantly flawed, but I practice self-love and know my worth. This makes good modeling. This makes keen wisdom. This makes stillness and safety in my own mind, spirit, and body. This provides you with a warm container in which you can heal without even speaking, just by being together, often through the meeting of eyes alone. Because I have seen myself you will feel seen, deeply seen, and understood. I do share about myself in therapy, but for now, I will choose to practice what I preach and use good boundaries, and not disclose or expose my whole self. We are only just making one another's acquaintance.
Although I can tell you that in 2025, for my entire 60th year, I grappled with my deepest core wound, which felt to me like wrestling a dragon to the ground. This was the last thing I had to complete for my karma (meaning "lessons") to be wiped clean from my slate. It was so severe that even I avoided approaching it (avoidance being my trauma attachment style) for many, many years. I just couldn't do it. I can't say 2025 was worth it yet. But that doesn't mean it was not. It simply means I am still suffering the painful consequences that can happen when people change, and others think they should not. I'm still grieving the fallout. Both the fallout of the difficult choices I had to make in my 60th year, AND the fallout of the reality that it took me 60 years of my life to get here. A common reply of people who finally do the hard thing. We either wonder why it took us so long, or wonder what our life could havewould have been like if this pain had been wiped clean from us so much sooner than it did.
As I said, Heyoka therapy is not for quick-fixers, but for final-elixirs. Why do I do this work? So it doesn't take you 60 years as well. I want you to do your work sooner, more gently, and more completely than I had been able to do without the guidance, support, and resources that are available today. It was nobody's fault. We simply didn't have then what is becoming "known practice" for you now. And I'm so glad you have it now.
What I Say to People Concerned about the Therapy Process
I usually recommend trying it out for the first time. If we both feel comfortable to "play again," and if the client is still a bit hesitant, I will often recommend they commit to another number of sessions. That number could be one more, three more, six more, or eight more. It just depends. There are lots of reasons someone might hesitate, so there are lots of things that we may be evaluating and addressing while building trust with one another or while giving it a good enough go to see if this is right for you or not, or whether this is the right time for you or not. I never try to force anyone into therapy, first of all. I never try to force anyone into therapy with me, second of all. But I do get sad when people are approaching the therapy door, but their protective parts can't allow them to step over the threshold and sit on the couch. That's why I like taking just very small steps into therapy for a person who feels hesitant. This way, their protective parts might not rile up with a screaming "No!!!!" as you get too close.
Importance of the Client-Therapist Alliance
Are you an odd duck? A misfit? An introvert? An artist? Someone who doesn't quite fit "here"? Perhaps you feel lonely, anxious, outcast, weighed down, overly responsible, pained. You're irritated, sensitive, suffering, trying to find your way while others tell you you're doing it wrong. What do you want? What do you need? Where do you go from here? Come. Sit with me a moment. Feel yourself melt into the warmth of belong. Life doesn't have to be so lonely, so isolated, so hard. Using her own introverted, quirky, quick, and intuitive ways; Sherry sees what is good and draws out the best of who you really are.
Clinicians who offer sliding scale payment structures may offer lower or reduced fees based on an individual's ability to pay. Please contact this clinician for more details regarding their fees or sliding scale policy.
