Julie Hyatt, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Couples therapy requires a different kind of therapeutic relationship than individual therapy. There isn't just one therapeutic alliance to consider—there are several, and all of them matter. I pay attention to the relationship between each partner and me, as well as to how each partner experiences my relationship with the other. If either of you begins to feel that I am “on your partner’s side” or that your perspective is not being understood or valued, it can undermine the safety and effectiveness of the therapy. Just as importantly, you and your partner need to feel that we are working together toward a shared focus, even when you may have different perspectives, needs, or goals. I actively monitor these different dimensions of the therapeutic relationship throughout each session and at pivotal moments in the work. I’m paying attention not only to what you are talking about, but also to how we are working together and whether both partners feel heard, respected, and engaged in the process. This ability to track and work with the therapeutic alliance while simultaneously attending to the relationship dynamics in the room is an important part of specialized couples therapy. It is one of the ways my training and experience as a couples therapist differ from the work of an individual therapist who also occasionally sees couples.