John Kane, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

I had a client say to me, I've been taking meds for years, why am I still struggling? It's because you're treating symptoms. Think about it. If I ask you to define your problem, you will give me a list of symptoms. Treating symptoms is like putting band-aids on something that needs stitches. I am passionate about helping people find satisfaction in their life. It's not true that you have to stay depressed, anxious, addicted for your entire life. The truth is, in life if you want to be healthy you live life based on principles and not based on your feelings. Anxious, addicted, depressed people make decisions based on their feelings, and they cycle in chaos. How many of your decisions in life are you making based on your feelings? Do you feel more stable or less stable because of it? When we are unhealthy, our emotions are a roller coaster and our daily life rides the coaster of our emotions. When you are unhealthy, you won’t feel like stepping out of your emotions. If you're depressed, you feel like isolating, and if you do, you get worse. If you do the opposite of what you feel by hanging out with family and friends and doing something productive, I guarantee you you will not feel like doing it and after you have done it you won't have enjoyed it. But at a minimum, you will not have gotten worse. If you live by the healthy principles of life and address the roots of your mental health condition, you will get better and your emotions will be more positive and stabilize, recalibrating to the way that you are choosing to live. Are you tired of the same old same old? Call me, let’s talk. Whether you are an individual or a couple or a parent wanting to help your child, I work with every issue and I’ve been around the block a while. My goal for you and your family is to get you in and out of treatment as quickly as possible.

Anxiety, depression, and addiction are rooted in the breakdown and dysfunction in our relationships, the trauma ensuing from it, and the loss of, or lack of relational intelligence. Parents today are facing an increasingly absurd reality in which their children are being conditioned at school to respond to life based on feelings. But in life if you want to be healthy, you live life based on principle, not based on feelings. It's not that your feelings don't matter, but that you don't make decisions based on them. That's what anxious, addicted, depressed people do, they respond to life based on their feelings and they cycle in chaos. I tell you this now so you understand a little about me as a therapist. I specialize in the following areas: Anxiety, grief, depression, addiction, couples and marriage counseling, anger management, parent child relationships, child behavior, grief, anxiety, and depression concerns, school refusal, sex addiction and infidelity, High functioning autism (aspergers) and neurodiverse relationships, career counseling, and christian counseling. When I work with children, I always want to work with the parents too. I believe that anything that goes from you to your child is way more meaningful and effective than anything that goes from me to your child because you have the permanent relationship. Typically, I will do a session with the parents first where we identify the areas of concern, hopes and dreams for the child, and some things that parents can be doing behind the scenes to support their child. Then I do 1-2 assessment sessions with the child to understand the world through their eyes (I will often utilize art-based assessments during this process). Then I follow up with another parent session where we talk about the game plan moving forward that would be most helpful to that unique child's situation. In the first session with couples, I get to know your story and we identify the areas of your relationship in which you would like to grow. We also establish a structured plan for dealing with conflict which enables you to stop the damage in your relationship while we work on the foundation of rebuilding your intimacy and communication. Sessions are the catalyst where we address areas of needed change, and then during the week (s) you implement relational homework that I give you, and that is where you will flesh out the growth and change in your daily life as a couple. With addicts, I start by helping you understand your addiction. This is particularly important for people dealing with process addictions like pornography, the internet, or video games. Then we lay the foundations for recovery so that you can maintain abstinence once it is established. Lastly, I help you work through the reorientation of the mind so that your mind is no longer in the grip of your cravings. Abstinence by itself is just white-knuckling it, it's torture. You need to be free mentally and I support you in that process of obtaining not just physical freedom from the addiction, but also the mental freedom. I am often asked something along the lines of, how many sessions does it take for me to be cured? Of course, your growth journey depends on you. What I can tell you is based on our experience, for whatever issue or relationship struggle you are dealing with, I will be able to lay a solid foundation for recovery in the first 5-6 sessions. How fast you work through the foundations and grow depends on you and your situation!