My Approach to Helping
Are you stressed out trying to make your relationships work smoothly?
Do you wish that things would just flow without you having to think about what you should do before you do it?
Isn't it a hassle when you feel that your natural way of being isn't accepted?
Perhaps you get upset and angry, and end up in conflict.
May be you keep quiet but seethe inside and make yourself sick with insomnia, back ache, migraine, weight gain, stomach cramps, hair loss, tinnitus, or sexual performance problems.
Your longing to just be who you are and have intimate connections with loved ones is normal and natural.
You can reduce your frustration by learning the skill of using your emotions to connect with others in warm and inviting ways.
You figure out the fears, worries and concerns that get in your way of creating and keeping satisfying connections.
You can learn how to have dialogues rather than fight, or use revenge and punishment as a way of expressing your unhappiness.
You can practice the skills of sharing your feelings so that colleagues, friends, family and your partner will do the same.
Get real time advice, in the moment as you develop, hone, build and strengthen your relationship skills that are the foundation to your self-confidence and self-worth.
Find out how I helped a client save his relationship in my new book: "Now You Want Me, Now You Don't! Fear of Intimacy: Ten ways to recognize the signs and ten ways to manage it in your relationship.'
More Info About My Practice
Old habits die hard and you may be caught in the trap of repeating the same old pattern of tense and fractious connections. You may keep getting hurt in the same ways, and never be able to trust anyone. If you find yourself having the same fight, and the same unsatisfying outcomes, I will help you figure out what is going wrong and put you on a more rewarding path.
It isn't your fault that relationships are hard and frustrating for you. You may not have had the chance to learn how to do relationships in a way that brings mutual satisfaction. I can help you catch up on those skills and bring you up to speed.
I teach you the vocabulary and unwritten rules of emotional dialogue. You get to write the script with the ending that you truly want. Two ways I help you find and implement those desires are by encouraging you to bring in dreams and use art in your sessions.
Specific Issue(s) I'm Skilled at Helping With
When your efforts to get close to your loved one are rejected or rebuffed, you probably fear that you are going to lose the relationship. You may panic and withdraw, making the chasm wider. I will help you deal with the anxiety, the sleepless nights, and the anger that overwhelms you.
Find out more about the pull-push cycles of emotional intimacy that you may be experiencing in my book: 'Now You Want Me, Now You Don't! Fear of Intimacy: Ten ways to recognize it and ten ways to manage it in your relationship.'
My Role as a Therapist
Clients often need long-term deep work to heal wounds of being unwanted and never feeling special. They get sick and live in a loop of defeatism and sadness. I write about a client in treatment for some time, who learned to identify his wounds through his illness and pain.
You'll get a good flavor of the work in my book:
Ian: From Feeling Unwanted to Wanting to Feel. Trapped by the burden to be perfect
If you are having trouble connecting in emotionally intimate ways and feel the pull and push of romantic relationships, you can see how I work with clients like you in my book:
Now You Want Me, Now You Don't: Fear of Intimacy