Elvina Lui, LMFT, PhD in Clinical Sexology

Trauma informed, Attachment based couples counseling and sex therapy in Pasadena, using a combination of Gottman and EFT interventions. I have specialized in helping couples since 2007, I am experienced and efficient, but also compassionate and sensitive. Relationship problems are a very personal topic, especially if there has been betrayal or hurtful fights. I can help you heal the damage that has happened, I can help you rebuild trust and intimacy. I am direct and practical. The way I do couples therapy is 1). identify the real source of the problem, 2). come up with practical action items that address the problem, each of you are responsible to do your part, and 3). come back and see if it was successful. If the interventions were not working, I will come up with a new plan. In the first session, we dive right in--I will ask both of you to describe the relationship problem(s), I want to fully understand each of your feelings and perspectives. Like doctors looking at symptoms, I will be diagnosing the relationship based on what I hear and observe. I will explain what I think has gone wrong and I will propose the solution. Then we will talk about the practical actions each of you can take to combat the problem. By the end of the first appointment, we should have a treatment plan with clear steps. Couples therapy sessions will not be gripe sessions where you rehash the same arguments in front of me. Each session will be used wisely and be solutions focused. Each of you will be recognized and appreciated for what you did right, and each of you will be held accountable if you fall short. This ensures we are getting progress.

Counseling can help mediate ongoing conflicts, clarify misunderstandings, effectively and fairly address deep-rooted disagreements, improve communication, increase a sense of intimacy, and improve relationship satisfaction. Successful relationship counseling does more than just minimize arguments and force a couple to compromise, because a fulfilling relationship is more than just scraping by and tolerating the other person. The higher goal of counseling is to help a couple create a relationship where both individuals can find support, security, intimacy, and happiness.