Ellyn Bader,Ph.D.

Ellyn Bader,Ph.D.

Professions: Marriage & Family Therapist
License Status: I'm a licensed professional.
Primary Credential: Marriage and Family Therapist - 6591
Secondary Credential: Psychologist - 6961
Billing and Insurance:
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445 Burgess Dr
Suite 150
Menlo Park, California 94025

My Approach to Helping

We serve couples in many ways, most notably by helping couples who are struggling with anger, distressed, challenged by infidelity, or overwhelmed by issues of communication or intimacy. I've helped partner overcome these challenges to live as lover and friends for more than three decades. Along with my husband, Peter Pearson, I founded The Couples Institute in 1984. We serve the San Francisco Bay Area by offering a network of dedicated, qualified therapists.

In addition to helping hundreds of couples create and maintain evolving and healthy relationships, we also train therapists across the globe. Our book about couples therapy for therapists is a popular graduate school text throughout the country. As a married couple, we bring the insight of hard-won experience to our work. Just like you, we've been challenged as a couple. By overcoming these challenges together, we've solidified our belief that lasting marriages are both possible and rewarding.

More Info About My Practice

We created and train couples in The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy. The model integrates neuroscience, attachment theory and differentiation theory. It also outlines the normal stages of development couples experience, in practical and understandable language. Our model offers couples structure that can help them identify the development tasks they face. This makes it easier to understand common places where couples get stuck, allowing for intervention and specific treatment protocols at each developmental stage.

When we first published In Quest of the Mythical Mate in 1988, our theory of developmental stages with predictable challenges and opportunities for triumph was a new one. It has since become widely accepted, with the Bader-Pearson Developmental Model continuing to incorporate new knowledge. Ellyn and Peter have been featured on more than 50 radio and television programs, including The Today Show and CBS Early Morning News. The Bader-Pearson approach is widely regarded for its ability to help couples create and nurture lasting love.

How Psychotherapy Can Help

Couples are often uncertain about what to expect from the process of couples therapy. They are not sure of what to expect of the therapist or even if the therapist has any expectations of them. I believe my primary role is to help you improve your responses to each other without violating your core values or deeply held principles.

Your job is to create your own individual objectives for being in therapy. Like a good coach, my job is to help you reach them. I have many, many tools to help you become a more effective partner-- they work best when you are clear about how you aspire to be.

So that you may know some of my key guiding principles, I have created this document to provide clarity and focus to our work, http://www.couplesinstitute.com/getthemost/.

Video Message

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Ages I Work With

  • Adults
  • Elders


  • English

Groups I Work With

    Gay and lesbian couples, infidelity

Client Concerns I Treat

  • Adjusting to Change / Life Transitions
  • Aggression and Violence
  • Anger
  • Anxiety
  • Attachment Issues
  • Blended Family Issues
  • Codependency / Dependency
  • Communication Problems
  • Control Issues
  • Depression
  • Divorce / Divorce Adjustment
  • Family of Origin Issues
  • Family Problems
  • Forgiveness
  • Individuation
  • Infidelity / Affair Recovery
  • Jealousy
  • LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender) Issues
  • Midlife Crisis / Midlife Transition
  • Parenting
  • Polyamory / Nonmonogamous Relationships
  • Post Partum Depression
  • Relationships and Marriage
  • Sexual Assault / Abuse
  • Sexuality / Sex Therapy
  • Trust Issues

Types of Therapy

  • Developmental Model of Couples Therapy

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