Ellis Nicolson, Registered Psychotherapist; RMFT

Do you feel stuck in your life? Do you feel that no matter how hard you try, the same things keep happening- you keep getting the same results? Do you feel stuck in your relationship? Do you keep attracting the same kind of mate? Do you have seasons where your mood is very low, and you are not motivated? Do you have periods of time when you typically feel anxious or panicked? You may simply be repeating embedded, negative patterns that you learned growing up, and are repeating them today without your awareness. My team is in the business of breaking patterns! We are relationship and anxiety specialists. We also offer eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy for trauma, specialized help for men's issues, and offer individual, couple, and family therapy in Mississauga and downtown Toronto. Sessions are also available via Zoom for your convenience. We offer affordable rates.

Our team offers virtual sessions and in-person sessions in our Mississauga and downtown Toronto office (near Cabbagetown). We offer a sliding fee scale. We are specialists in what we do, helping individuals, couple, and families break their unhelpful patterns.

We believe that wellbeing and inner peace is attained by recognizing and breaking three distinct patterns in your life: Patterns you learned growing up: Growing up we were all modelled how to behave through explicit messaging and implicit messaging. We learned how to express and cope with our emotions, and we learned what was okallowed and not okallowed. These learnings typically impact our ability to be vulnerable and connect deeply to others, especially if we experienced any kind of trauma growing up. We are very adaptive and learn how to survive, but these same strategies typically work against us in adulthood. How you view yourself: We tend to be very hard on ourselves! It is hard to view the positives within ourselves, but we typically have little trouble recognizing the negatives! This view of our self informs how we see and experience the world and affects our experience of feelingbeing loved. Our view of self is vital to our wellbeing. How we interact with others: How we grew up and how we view ourselves directly impacts how we respond and interact with others. Do you find yourself being defensive, reactive, critical, blaming, or shutting down and distancing from those closest to you? Do you have trouble being vulnerable and taking emotional risks? Do you anxiously pursue your partner while they withdraw? We will help you recognize and break these unhelpful patterns so your needs can be met. How do you break a pattern? Some patterns are very easy to recognize, for example, when we became angry, while other patterns like pushing people away when we become afraid or hurt are not always so obvious. Building awareness of our patterns and understanding why our patterns exist is a critical first step. For example, the person who responds with anger may not understand that their underlying struggle may be anxiety or fear, not anger. What are the ingredients for change? Discomfort: The patterns we develop are designed to help us avoid discomfort in the moment, but harm us over time. We need to develop a new relationship with the feeling of discomfort and understand that the feeling of discomfort may be a cue to pursue something healthy for us. Risk Taking: It takes courage to act on the thing that is causing us discomfort, for example, it takes courage to be vulnerable and open up to our spouse. It takes courage to face a situation that causes anxiety in us, for example, flying, being in a confined area, interacting socially, etc. Willingness: Being willing is an active decision we make and is required for change. If we expect all the conditions to line-up before we act, we will always be waiting. Change requires action and willingness is part of that action. Support: We often say if takes a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to maintain a healthy adult! We all need support, especially when we are trying to create positive change in our lives. Friends, family, support groups, and your psychotherapist are all potential sources of support for you, so utilize them all. If you want lasting change in your life, we will help you become a pattern breaker, and create new patterns that bring about inner peace, and healthy connections in your relationships. connections in your relationships.