Why Stockholm Syndrome Happens and How to Help

Stockholm syndrome is a psychological condition that occurs when a victim of abuse identifies and attaches, or bonds, positively with their abuser. This syndrome was originally observed when hostages who were kidnapped not only bonded with their kidnappers, but also fell in love with them.

Professionals have expanded the definition of Stockholm syndrome to include any relationship in which victims of abuse develop a strong, loyal attachment to the perpetrators of abuse. Some of the populations affected with this condition include concentration camp prisoners, prisoners of war, abused children, incest survivors, victims of domestic violence, cult members, and people in toxic work or church environments.

The Characteristics of Stockholm Syndrome

It may be easier to understand Stockholm syndrome as an actual survival strategy for victims. This is because it seems to increase victims’ chances of survival and is believed to be a necessary tactic for defending psychologically and physically against experiencing an abusive, toxic, and controlling relationship. Stockholm syndrome is often found in toxic relationships where a power differential exists, such as between a parent and child or spiritual leader and congregant. Some signs of Stockholm syndrome include:

Anyone can be susceptible to Stockholm syndrome. Yes, there are certain people with abusive backgrounds that may be more likely to be affected, such as people with abusive childhoods; but any person can become a victim if the right conditions exist.

Battered partners or spouses are a prime example of Stockholm syndrome. Oftentimes, they are reluctant to press charges or initiate a restraining order, and some have attempted to stop police from arresting their abusers even after a violent assault. After the relationship has ended, victims of domestic violence may often make statements such as, “I still love him,” even after being brutally beaten.

Battered partners or spouses are a prime example of Stockholm syndrome. Oftentimes, they are reluctant to press charges or initiate a restraining order, and some have attempted to stop police from arresting their abusers even after a violent assault.

How Stockholm Syndrome Works

Stockholm syndrome occurs when certain dynamics are at play, and it happens within particular circumstances. Following is a list of ingredients that can contribute to the development of the syndrome in individuals:

How to Help People Who May Have Stockholm Syndrome

Understanding the underlying psychology surrounding Stockholm syndrome can help you know how to help someone who has it. Stockholm syndrome is the victim’s response to trauma and involves many social dynamics. Some of these social dynamics include conformity, groupthink, deindividuation, romantic love, and fundamental attribution error, among others.

Examples of hooks include a variety of feelings, such as those of loyalty. They can be found in statements such as “I’ll be there no matter what,” or “It’s you and me against the world.” These types of needs tend to be unconscious and may have developed at an earlier stage of an individual’s life.

Being aware of the psychological underpinnings of Stockholm syndrome can help you understand how to best help someone with the condition. Its treatment is under-researched. While there is ample discussion of the legal ramifications of the disorder, very little has been written on how to help someone who has been affected. The bottom line, no matter what intervention you use to help someone who has this condition, is to remember to offer empathy always and coercion never.

If you think you or a loved one is experiencing Stockholm syndrome, a therapist may help you or them work through some of the steps to healing above. Start your search for the therapist best suited to helping you today.

References:

  1. Alexander, D. A. & Klein, S. (2009, January 1). Kidnapping and hostage-taking: A review of effects, coping and resilience. Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine, 1(102), 16–21. doi: 10.1258/jrsm.2008.080347
  2. Carver, J. M. (2014, December 20). Love and Stockholm syndrome: The mystery of loving an abuser, page 1. Retrieved from https://counsellingresource.com/therapy/self-help/stockholm
  3. Dittman, M. (2002). Cults of hatred. American Psychological Association, 10(33), 30. Retrieved from http://www.apa.org/monitor/nov02/cults.aspx
  4. Gray, M. D. (2017, January 16). How to treat Stockholm syndrome. Retrieved from https://health.onehowto.com/article/how-to-treat-stockholm-syndrome-7546.html
  5. Kerkar, P. (2017, August 28). What is a Stockholm syndrome & how is it treated? Retrieved from https://www.epainassist.com/mental-health/stockholm-syndrome
  6.  Social psychology. (2010). Retrieved from https://www1.psych.purdue.edu/~willia55/120/LectureSocialF10.pdf

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