A client mentions a video game you have never heard of.
Another describes a family expectation that does not fit neatly into the frameworks you learned in graduate school. Someone describes work, marriage, identity, religion, or responsibility in values different from your own.
What happens next?
For GoodTherapy member Hansel Wong, the answer begins with curiosity.
“Just be curious.”
It may sound like simple advice, but in Hansel’s work, curiosity is not merely a conversational skill. It is part of how therapists communicate respect, recognize cultural context, and build a relationship in which clients feel understood.
Hansel is a counselor and supervisor based in Adelaide, Australia. Originally from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, he began his practice in one multicultural city before continuing his work in another. Moving between the two required more than adjusting to a new location. It challenged him to reconsider what clients may want from counseling and what therapists may miss when they assume everyone is working toward the same version of healing.
His experience has led him to a central belief:
“Human connection can promote healing and co-regulation.”
For Hansel, techniques and modalities remain important. But therapy becomes meaningful when clinical knowledge is paired with genuine interest in the person sitting across from you.
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Video Interview: Watch the Conversation with Hansel WongWatch Hansel Wong’s Member Spotlight interview. |
What Moving Across Cultures Teaches You About Counseling
Hansel began practicing in Kuala Lumpur, a fast-paced urban environment he describes as highly driven and achievement-oriented.
Many of the millennial clients he worked with were trying to reach a particular milestone. They wanted to progress in their careers, prepare for marriage, buy a home, improve their relationships, or move into the next stage of life.
After moving to Adelaide, Hansel encountered clients who were sometimes more interested in acceptance, balance, and understanding their present circumstances. Rather than immediately searching for the next milestone, they might be exploring how to feel more content with where they were.
While these observations were broad and should not be treated as fixed descriptions of either population, the important lesson was recognizing that he had been carrying assumptions about what clients wanted from therapy.
“Coming out of this glass bowl and seeing another side of the world expanded my understanding. Different cultures bring different values.”
A therapist may believe that a client needs to become more independent, set stronger boundaries, slow down, pursue a promotion, leave a relationship, or communicate more openly with family.
But before encouraging any of those outcomes, the therapist needs to understand what independence, family, success, responsibility, and healing mean to that client.
The clinical question is not only, “What would help this person change?”
It is also, “What would meaningful change look like in this person’s life?”
Why Curiosity Belongs in a Therapist’s Clinical Toolkit
A therapist’s professional development often focuses on treatment modalities, certifications, interventions, and clinical techniques.
Hansel encourages the counselors he supervises to think more broadly.
“Understanding the values, beliefs, and history of different cultures can be as valuable, important, and practical in counseling sessions as learning a different modality, tool, or technique.”
This does not mean therapists need to become experts in every cultural background their clients represent. It means they should be willing to learn about the histories, family systems, communities, interests, and everyday realities that shape a client’s life.
For Hansel, that includes learning beyond what is traditionally considered clinical material.
He recalls supervising a counselor whose client had begun talking about video games. The counselor was not a gamer and had limited knowledge on the topic. Hansel’s first response was not to redirect the conversation but to be curious about the game.
“What video game was it? Was it an open-world game? Was it a platform game? What was the name? Go search it up. If you can, play it. When a client starts talking about something niche, being able to pick it up and say, ‘I know what you’re talking about,’ immediately builds connection.”
Without curiosity, a therapist may hear only a hobby. With curiosity, they may recognize an important part of the client’s emotional and social world.
What to Know Before Your First Therapy Session
Curiosity is what a good therapist brings to the room. But what about the person on the other side of it, someone weighing up a first session? Here too, Hansel likes to lower the stakes. He compares starting therapy to seeing a physical therapist, a family doctor, or even going to the gym.
“No one is going to hand you a diagnosis or a label at the door. It is simply time with someone whose job is to hold a safe space for whatever you bring. And if it does not feel right, it was one hour of your life. Think of it like reaching a checkpoint in a game. You get to unload for a bit, pause from life, take a break, and then you click play and go through it again.”
For anyone who has been putting it off, that reframe can be the difference between booking and closing the tab. If you want a fuller picture, here is what to expect in a first therapy session.
What if Nothing Is Wrong, but Something Feels Off
Not everyone arrives with a clear problem. Sometimes nothing is obviously wrong, yet something feels off. Hansel hears this constantly, and his first suggestion may surprise you. He recommends a physical check first, because the body often registers strain before the mind does.
“Often the body can signal things faster than the mind can catch on. You feel the aches and pains before you realize you’re coming down with a fever. Mental health can work the same way.”
From there, he notices two common patterns.
Some people have carried stress for so long that it now feels normal, and they no longer register the weight of it. Others have finally built a stable, safe life, and it is that very safety that lets older, unprocessed experiences rise to the surface. Feeling off, in other words, is rarely random. It is often a signal that something is ready to be looked at.
Therapy is where you can put words to it and make sense of what is underneath.
How to Find a Therapist Who Truly Gets You
If connection is what makes therapy work, how do you find it? Hansel answers from both chairs. As a therapist, he wonders who will walk through his door. As a client, you are looking for someone you can genuinely open up to.
“What’s important at the end of the day is to feel like, hey, I can sit down with this person and have an honest chat about life. That’s really the crux of it.”
Shared background, gender, or faith can help you feel understood, but it is not the only path. Someone quite different from you can offer a fresh perspective. He notes a nuance familiar in smaller communities: sometimes people prefer a therapist from a different background, because a shared one raises the odds of being recognized through a friend or a relative. What matters most, he says, is whether you can imagine that honest conversation.
How to Choose a Therapist from an Online Profile
Choosing from a directory can feel like a lot, since you are often judging someone from a written profile alone. Hansel sees that as an advantage rather than a limitation, because a thorough profile tells you a great deal.
“Comb through the bio and find the therapist who specializes in what you’re looking for, whether that’s a specific approach, an age group, or a particular area they work in.”
Clients often know what they are after, whether that is a method like EMDR or acceptance and commitment therapy, a certain age range, or experience with a specific community. Read closely and match those specifics to your needs. A detailed profile is exactly what makes that possible, a useful reminder for any therapist writing their own. You can compare approaches and specialties across the GoodTherapy directory.
How to Reach Someone Who Does Not Believe in Therapy
Many people run into this wall, often with a parent, a partner, or an older relative who simply will not discuss mental health. Hansel notes that the cultures he has worked in are deeply multicultural, so there is no single attitude to push against. Rather than argue anyone into it, he starts where their interest already is.
“Lean into the things people like to talk about, work, relationships, and slowly weave in. Sounds like anxiety. Sounds like depression. Slowly but surely, people realize it’s not that big a taboo to talk about.”
Work stress, burnout, a breakup, a divorce. These are approachable, everyday topics people are often willing to discuss. The move is to follow that thread and gently name what you hear, rather than leading with a clinical label that closes the conversation down. It is a kind, practical approach for anyone with a loved one who treats therapy as off-limits.
Men’s Mental Health and the Myth That Therapy Is a Sign of Weakness
Ask Hansel which belief about therapy he would most like to correct, and he goes straight to the one that keeps so many people away, especially men: the idea that seeking help means you are weak. It is a stigma he cares about deeply, and one he has watched hold men back from support they need.
“The people I’ve sat across from and spoken with about their emotions, with such brutal honesty, are the strongest people that I know.”
Putting difficult emotions into words is not a failure of strength, Hansel argues. It is one of the hardest and bravest things a person can do. Men seek therapy at lower rates than women, a gap shaped more by cultural expectations around masculinity than by any lower need for support.
Hansel extends the same grace to therapists themselves.
“For therapists, we always feel like we need to be this perfect pillar of mental health. We are not. We are just two human beings sitting in front of each other, talking about life in a way that regulates each other’s emotions.”
The difference a therapist brings is training, ethics, the right questions, and a safe space. Beyond that, the work is human on both sides. That belief also shapes how Hansel guards against burnout, and his approach is refreshingly plain. A supervisor once showed him that decompressing after a hard session could be as simple as playing a game on his phone, no special technique required. For Hansel it is running along Adelaide’s beaches, tending his plants, and time with his wife and daughter.
GoodTherapy explores this in depth in the stigma around men’s mental health, and you can learn more about the challenges men face on our men’s mental health page.
Therapy Is Two People Talking
Across every question, whether about culture, curiosity, a first session, or the courage it takes to walk in, Hansel keeps returning to the same quiet truth. Strip away the fear and the jargon, and therapy is two people talking, one of them trained to make that conversation safe and useful. That is reassuring if you are nervous about starting, and grounding if you are the one holding the space.
“It doesn’t mean you’re weak to come in for therapy. It means you’ve taken a really tough step, and that requires strength.”
Hansel Wong is one of the counselors you will find on GoodTherapy. You can read more from the Member Spotlight series, including spotlights with Brooke Pomerantz and Annette Popernik.
Find a therapist who gets you Whether you are looking for support or building your own practice, GoodTherapy is where thoughtful therapists and the people who need them find each other.
Frequently Asked Questions
Starting therapy can come with a lot of pressure.
For some people, the pressure comes from not knowing what to expect in a first session. For others, it comes from the fear of being judged, misunderstood, or told how they should be able to handle things on their own. And for many, it comes from a quieter thought that can be even harder to shake: Shouldn’t I be able to do this by myself?
In her Member Spotlight interview, Annette Popernik offers a perspective that feels both grounding and deeply human. She introduces therapy as a conversation where safety is built, and where clients are both validated and challenged. It is a space designed not just to comfort, but to help people better understand themselves and move forward with greater clarity.
What makes Annette’s approach especially meaningful is the care she brings to helping people feel fully themselves in the room. Fluent in English, Spanish, and Italian, she places real importance on both cultural and linguistic awareness in her practice. She encourages clients to express themselves in the language that feels most natural to them, even if that means bringing in words she may need to learn along the way. For Annette, that is part of creating a space where people feel safe, understood, and true to who they are.
That philosophy carries through everything she shared in our conversation: therapy should not feel like a place where you have to perform, translate yourself, or arrive with everything figured out. It should feel like a place where you can begin honestly, be met with care, and explore what growth might look like from there.
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Video Interview: Watch the Conversation with Annette PopernikWatch Annette Popernik’s Member Spotlight interview. |
What should someone know before starting therapy?
Annette describes therapy as a conversation where a safe space is built and where the client is both validated and challenged. That balance is central to her approach. Therapy is not about giving people all the answers. It is about supporting them in a way that helps them reflect more honestly, understand themselves more clearly, and move forward with intention.
For someone starting therapy for the first time, that can be reassuring. You do not need the perfect explanation for why you are there. You do not need to arrive certain about what you feel or what you need. Sometimes, the first step is simply entering a space where the conversation can begin.
Why do people feel like they should handle everything alone?
One of the most relatable parts of Annette’s interview is what she says about the pressure people place on themselves before they ever seek support. She points to the “should” statements many clients carry: I should be able to do this on my own. This should not be a problem. I should have figured this out already.
These thoughts may sound small, but they carry real weight. They can make ordinary struggles feel shameful and turn the need for support into something that feels like failure.
Annette offers a gentler alternative. Therapy can be a place where internal pressures are examined instead of being obeyed. It can help people stop measuring themselves against what they think they should be able to handle and start paying attention to what they need.
Can therapy help even if nothing feels wrong?
Absolutely.
Annette speaks openly about the value of therapy for self-improvement and personal growth, even when life seems fine on the surface. She also makes a simple but powerful point: “…there is something meaningful about having a space where someone is focused entirely on you, what you need, and what is going on in your life.”
That expands the role of therapy in an important way. It does not have to be reserved for crisis, conflict, or burnout. It can also be a place for insight, reflection, and self-care. A place to understand your patterns more clearly. A place to check in with yourself more honestly. A place to build awareness before things become overwhelming.
That perspective is valuable for therapy seekers who may wonder whether their concerns are serious enough, and just as meaningful for therapists who want to show that their work supports not only pain, but also growth.
Why does finding the right therapist matter?
Annette highlights the importance of establishing a connection between the therapist and the client. She sees the relationship between therapist and client as one of the strongest predictors of positive outcomes. That is why finding the right therapist is more than expertise alone. It is also about whether they understand the different layers that shape your life.
She encourages people to look for a therapist who can make space for:
- Cultural background and lived experience
- Spirituality or religion, if it matters to the client
- Chronic pain or disability, when these shape the client’s daily life
- The personal context behind anxiety, grief, relationships, and other challenges
What stands out in Annette’s approach is that she values human connection without making assumptions. Shared identity can help, but real support comes from taking the time to understand each person’s individually lived experiences.
Why do language and cultural awareness matter in therapy?
One of the most distinctive parts of Annette’s practice is the importance she gives to cultural and linguistic awareness. Fluent in English, Spanish, and Italian, she is intentional about creating room for people to express themselves in the language that feels most natural to them.
That matters more than it may seem at first.
People do not always think, feel, or process in perfectly translated language. Sometimes the right word only exists in the language spoken at home. Sometimes a phrase carries emotional meaning that does not fully come through in English. Annette makes space for that. Even when a client uses a word she does not know yet, she is willing to learn it so that the person in front of her does not have to filter themselves to be understood.
This part of her approach offers an important reminder for both therapy seekers and therapists. Feeling safe in therapy is not only about emotional warmth. It is also about being able to show up in ways that feel culturally real and personally natural. The more room there is for that authenticity, the more possible trust becomes.
How can virtual therapy feel safer and more supportive?
Annette also offers a thoughtful perspective on virtual therapy. Instead of seeing it as a lesser version of in-person care, she encourages people to think about how to make it work for them. Her advice is simple: create a space that feels safe.
That could mean settling in with a cup of tea or coffee, a pillow, fuzzy socks, a candle, or anything else that helps your body and mind feel more at ease. In Annette’s view, the physical environment around you matters. When you create a space that feels calm and comforting, that sense of safety can carry into the session itself.
She also points out that virtual therapy offers something unique. In an office or any physical setting, the space is already defined. The room looks the way it is. Nothing much can be done about the walls, the furniture, the setting in which the session takes place. But in virtual therapy, there is more room to shape the environment around your own needs and preferences. That can make the experience feel more inviting, more personal, and more supportive.
What does it mean to grow through therapy?
What stands out most in Annette’s interview is how she does not describe therapy as only soothing or only solution focused. Instead, she sees it as a place where people can be validated while also being challenged.
That distinction matters.
Being validated means your experience is taken seriously. Being challenged means you are not left exactly where you are. Together, those two things create conditions for growth. They allow therapy to feel supportive without becoming passive, and honest without becoming harsh.
For therapy seekers, this offers a helpful way to think about what good therapy can feel like. For therapists, it is a strong reminder that care and accountability can work together in the room.
You do not need to have everything figured out
At the heart of Annette’s interview is a simple but lasting idea: you do not need to have everything figured out before you begin. Therapy can be a place where you let go of some of the pressure to manage everything alone, speak in the words that feel true to you, and explore what support, insight, and growth might look like on your own terms.
Her perspective reminds us that the right therapeutic space is not one where you have to shrink yourself to fit in. It is one where you can feel safe enough to be honest and supported enough to keep evolving.
If Annette’s words resonated with you, explore her GoodTherapy profile to learn more about her approach. If you are still looking for the right fit, browse GoodTherapy’s therapist directory to find a provider whose style, perspective, and approach align with your needs.
FAQs
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Black and African American individuals have experienced great progress when it comes to mental health support, but barriers to quality care still persist. These challenges exist all year round, but this February, you can honor Black History Month by exploring the importance of mental health in the Black community and taking actionable steps to remove these access barriers.
Below, we highlight existing challenges that Black individuals face in the mental health space and how you can help find practical solutions to culturally competent care for yourself or a loved one.
Cultural Competence
BIPOC Mental Health
Healthcare Access
In This Article
Discover why culturally competent mental health care matters for the Black community, explore common barriers to accessing treatment, learn about stressors unique to the Black experience, and find actionable steps toward healing and equitable care.
Read More:
Black Americans and Mental Health: Why Culture Matters
The mental health challenges of this community are complex. They are the result of a number of nuanced factors, including historical trauma, social stigma, systemic racism and discrimination, socioeconomic inequities, and cultural influences. Whether you identify as a person of color, a member of the LGBTQ+ community, an immigrant, someone of a specific religion, or part of another group, one truth remains true: cultural identity shapes emotional expression and coping mechanisms.
Did You Know?
Cultural identity isn’t just background, it fundamentally shapes how we express emotions, process trauma, and develop coping mechanisms. This is why culturally competent care isn’t optional; it’s essential.
You can see these challenges reflected in the stark realities of mental health
within the Black community in the U.S.:
The Numbers Tell a Story
Source: 2023 U.S. Mental Health Data
Key Realities in Black Mental Health
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Black adults in the U.S. are more likely to report persistent signs of emotional distress -
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As of 2023, Black adults comprised an estimated 13% of the U.S. population but 20% of those living with mental illness -
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Only one in three Black adults, on average, receives treatment, and are generally less likely to seek mental health treatment
Healthcare professionals must consider these critical factors as they provide care. Yet, many mental healthcare systems miss the cultural nuances that make individuals unique and shape their emotional needs. GoodTherapy’s Black Indigenous People of Color (BIPOC) page, however, helps individuals find therapists who truly understand them and their backgrounds.
Barriers to Accessing Mental Health Care for Black Americans
Your mental health needs are specific to only you, but they often stem from cultural, historical, and intergenerational influences that people can’t control. For the Black community, cultural factors like segregation, discrimination, familial trauma, religious beliefs, and social pressures often keep folks from seeking care when they need it.
Key Insight
Cultural, historical, and intergenerational factors, including segregation, discrimination, and religious beliefs, create unique barriers that prevent many Black Americans from accessing the mental health care they deserve.
Understanding the Barriers
Historical Trauma
Systemic discrimination & segregation
Social Stigma
Cultural pressures & misconceptions
Socioeconomic Factors
Financial constraints & access issues
Lack of Representation
Limited culturally competent providers
Common Stressors in the Black Experience
Below are some common experiences that tend to add emotional and mental load on Black individuals. Being aware of these can help you better protect your well-being or support loved ones:
Code Switching
Changing important aspects about yourself to feel seen and accepted in certain spaces. Doing so repeatedly can take a toll on your well-being.
Microaggressions
Everyday, indirect, and subtle behaviors that target individuals in marginalized communities. Even well-meaning comments or actions can negatively impact self-worth.
Avoiding Stereotypes
Not doing activities you enjoy in public because you’re afraid of falling into certain cultural stereotypes. The constant fear of being judged can harm your emotional health.
Fear of Systems
Many people of color feel afraid of cultural systems like law enforcement, judicial systems, medical facilities, and more if they’ve experienced systemic discrimination in those spaces.
Internalized Racism
Negative self-talk or internal thoughts that enforce negative beliefs about Black individuals. Doing so repeatedly can negatively impact your emotional well-being.
These are not the only factors that can impact Black mental health, but recognizing common ones is the first step in emotional healing. Expert therapists at GoodTherapy are prepared to help you acknowledge and work through these experiences, so you can start protecting your mental health for a better you.
What Is Culturally Competent Care and Why It Matters
Culturally competent therapy helps you feel validated, understood, and equipped to manage your emotional needs within your cultural identity. This approach is especially beneficial for those in marginalized communities, but it’s key to find a therapist who knows how to do this appropriately.
What Culturally Competent Care Looks Like
✓ Validates Your Experience
✓ Understands Context
✓ Respects Cultural Identity
✓ Adapts Approaches
✓ Creates Safe Space
✓ Continuous Learning
Good therapists are not just professionals with experience: they’re people in your corner who really get you and your experiences. Culturally competent therapists can help Black individuals understand societal stressors specific to the Black experience and feel heard.
In one of our recent Member Spotlight interviews, we spoke to Dr. LaNail Plummer about the importance of addressing the unique elements of Black Mental Health. Her recent book, titled The Essential Guide for Counseling Black Women, explores this in more detail, helping both therapists and clients find culturally competent therapy that is unique to the Black experience.
Featured Expert:
Learn from Dr. LaNail Plummer’s expertise in our Member Spotlight interview about addressing unique elements of Black mental health.
Celebrating Healing and Resilience This Black History Month
Black History Month is all about celebrating the achievements of Black folks in U.S. history and the legacy they have today. This includes pioneers in mental health, such as:
Pioneers in Black Mental Health
Herman George Canady
E. Kitch Childs
Mamie Phipps Clark & Kenneth Bancroft Clark
Beverly Green
Celebrating people like these, and acknowledging Black mental health needs, helps us find solutions to better mental health services. Through advocacy and representation, mental health access and care for Black individuals improve, one conversation at a time.
Moving Towards Equitable, Compassionate Mental Health Care
The Black community is not the only group that experiences mistrust, fear, stigma, and systemic inequities when it comes to mental health. Yet, understanding the unique elements that influence Black mental health barriers is key to breaking them down.
Essential to this effort are culturally competent therapists: professionals who are eager, trained, and prepared to help you navigate your unique experiences and identities. If you’re ready to prioritize your mental well-being or support someone else, explore our GoodTherapy resources, like our Find Help Quiz, which helps you identify what care is best for you.
Your Path to Healing Starts Here
Step 1: Explore
Step 2: Connect
Step 3: Grow
Resources:
- History: Black History Month 2026
- National Alliance on Mental Illness: Black/African American
- National Library of Medicine: Management of Depression in Black People: Effects of Cultural Issues
- The Mental Health Coalition: Roadmap to Black Mental Health
- Barnes & Noble: The Essential Guide to Counseling Black Women
- Mental Health America: Black Pioneers in Mental Health
- Taylor & Francis Online: “When the Therapist is White and the Patient is Black: Considerations for Psychotherapy in the Feminist Heterosexual and Lesbian Communities.”
With Black History Month in February and Women’s Health Month in March both fast approaching, our latest Member Spotlight series guest was the perfect choice. Dr. LaNail Plummer, a licensed therapist and author of The Essential Guide for Counseling Black Women, brings deep insight into the therapeutic process. This series highlights therapists who are eager to offer insight into the therapy experience and share valuable perspectives on how to make mental health care more approachable and authentic.
Dr. Plummer’s work emphasizes cultural competency, authentic connection, and the importance of creating spaces where clients don’t have to educate their therapist about their lived experiences. In this interview, Dr. Plummer shares practical wisdom about starting therapy, the neuroscience behind talk therapy, and why finding a therapist who truly understands you can make all the difference in your healing journey.
Whether you’re considering therapy for the first time or looking for a therapist who gets you, Dr. Plummer’s insights will help you understand what makes therapy work and how to find the right therapeutic fit.
 LIVE INTERVIEW: Watch the Conversation with Dr. LaNail Plummer
Q&A with Dr. LaNail Plummer
Q: What would you want someone who’s never been to therapy before to know about starting therapy?
Dr. Plummer:
Therapy is a relationship: it’s a therapeutic partnership or alliance. It may take a bit of time to really get into the groove of things. It takes time to build that ease and comfort. If the comfort doesn’t happen right away, give it a little more time, maybe a couple of months, to really see how you feel.
The other thing to consider is that whatever brings us to therapy, our presenting issue, may not be the root issue. Often, it’s a symptom that brings us to therapy, not the actual root. If we trust our therapist, they can help us get to that root issue. And whatever that root issue is, it has likely been forming for years, if not decades.Â
In summary, recognize that therapy is a relationship and a process, and it’s going to take a little bit of time.
Q: How can therapy help someone who feels like something’s off but can’t quite put their finger on it?
Dr. Plummer:
Our brains are designed in a particular way where we can often ruminate, specifically in the positioning between our amygdala and our hippocampus. But being able to talk through that issue pushes it through the amygdala and the hippocampus and up to the prefrontal cortex, where we’re thinking differently and have executive functioning and behavior from that. So talk therapy helps us stop that rumination. Think about a hamster on a wheel: that’s what happens with our thoughts when we keep having them recur. But therapy is the way to stop the wheel and allow the hamster to come off.
Talk therapy has a neurological effect, but it also has an emotional effect. When we’re going through something challenging and having a difficult time coming up with a solution, we need a safe space. Participating in therapy allows us to have a relationship with somebody who truly cares about what’s best for us and has a treatment plan to help us get where we want to go.
A therapist is often objective to the situation. They will ask questions and share summaries or interpretations that may allow the client to think outside the box because it’s not so personal.
Q: Why is it important for people to find therapists who truly understand them, whether through shared background, identity, or something else?
Dr. Plummer:
My most recent book, The Essential Guide for Counseling Black Women, is specific to Black women, but it’s the first in a series that will be dedicated to different demographics.
It’s important because when a client comes in, they want to be able to talk about whatever challenge they’re having and get direction, questions, summaries, and interpretations. They come in to be the client; they don’t come in to be an educator. Often, clients are looking for counselors who are similar to them in any type of identifier because they don’t want to have to explain who they are and some of the cultural nuances.
All mental health professions require their graduate students to take a multicultural course, but the course is only about 15 weeks long. It doesn’t spend as much time identifying all of the needs for different races and genders. There may be one class per course that talks about a specific race or gender, and that’s really just not enough.
A book like The Essential Guide allows therapists to go deeper in their learning and understanding so that even if a client comes and doesn’t think they are most relatable to that therapist, the therapist has the cultural competency and understanding to do more than adequate work with that client.
Q: If you had to describe your therapy approach in one sentence, what makes you a good fit for clients?
Dr. Plummer:
My approach is that I actually care about people. I actually really love people. I am extremely curious about who people are, how they became who they are, the decisions they’ve made in their life. I like to highlight their strengths as well as where there are gaps between who they currently are and who they want to be.
Most people identify me as extremely relatable. I fit into lots of different spaces and elements and lots of different engagements with other people. Because of that, I can pick up quite quickly what people need in that particular moment, whether it’s words of affirmation or a particular direction and approach.
My theoretical orientation is cognitive, so I spend a lot of time thinking about people’s thoughts and helping them think about their thoughts before we really get into the emotions and the actions they’ve taken. That tends to lead toward my therapeutic modality as well, which is CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy).
Q: What’s one practical tip or mindset shift you often share that helps people start feeling better?
Dr. Plummer:
Often, people come to therapy seeking advice. A good therapist is not going to give advice: they’re going to guide a client toward a solution that the client wants for themselves.Â
I often give the analogy that a mother teaches her daughter how to ride a bike because all she knows how to do is ride that bike. She learned how to ride a bike, she felt empowered when she learned, and it allowed her to move through spaces quicker and get things done. She’s proud of her ability to ride a bike. So when she has a daughter, she teaches her daughter how to ride a bike because she wants to pass that information on.Â
But then later in life, [the daughter] feels cheated because her mom didn’t teach her how to drive a car. But the mom never knew how to drive a car. I think that makes clients feel better in understanding that your parents and grandparents often did the best that they could, even though it wasn’t all that you needed. Just because you don’t have a need met right now doesn’t mean that it can’t get met and that somebody can lean in and support you in that process.
Wherever there are gaps, we’ll help them find out who in their life can support them. And even if it’s within them already to learn how to do certain things. I think that takes some of the pressure off of them to feel that they have to know everything right in this moment, and the challenges they’re currently experiencing won’t last forever.
Q: Tell us about your book, The Essential Guide for Counseling Black Women.
Dr. Plummer:
Many of our multicultural courses don’t teach us enough about different races and genders, and it is our responsibility to educate ourselves, as opposed to expecting the client to educate us. This book allows us to really dive deep and educate ourselves.
With over 222 pages, I have research, lived experiences, and client insights. I have therapist tips, so things that therapists need to be considering along the way as they’re reading each chapter. The book has catalyst questions, so therapists know how to engage with a client. I also have journal prompts that clients can be using. So the book is written for therapists, but it’s also written for Black women to give us all shared language about some of the experiences we’ve had.
There’s also a therapeutic guide so therapists know which therapeutic modalities would be best used when working with a Black woman on a particular theme, whether it’s cognitive therapy, REBT, or narrative therapy.
The book is specifically for those in healthcare (therapists, coaches, psychiatrists) and for Black women. It should be read by both populations, and it can be read by other people too, just to understand the lived experiences of Black women and why we do certain things. It allows Black women to be empowered and understand their experiences and why they do the things they do and how it’s helpful for who they are. As we build community, it’s important to have guides and language around how we can support each other to ensure we are not allowing our biases to enter the conversation, but instead allowing our sense of community and empowerment to be the anchor in how we continue to build relationships with people.
Finding Your Path to Wellness
Dr. LaNail Plummer’s approach to therapy embodies the core values of GoodTherapy: creating authentic, culturally competent spaces where clients can explore their challenges without having to educate their therapist about who they are. Her emphasis on patience, relationship-building, and understanding the root causes of our struggles offers a compassionate roadmap for anyone beginning their therapy journey. Whether you’re seeking therapy for the first time or looking for a therapist who truly understands your lived experience, remember that healing is a process, and the right therapeutic partnership can help you get there.
Learn more about Dr. LaNail Plummer and her practice on her GoodTherapy profile.
You can also connect with her on Instagram @mahogany_sunshine.
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