Anxiety is one of the most common human experiences and one of the most misunderstood. Most people hope therapy will help them get rid of anxiety. But what if anxiety as a signal isn’t simply a problem to eliminate, but a meaningful message that something in your life, body, or relationships needs attention, comfort, and care?
In clinical practice and empirical research, anxiety is understood not just as distress but as a complex biopsychosocial response that tells a deeper story about how a person is experiencing safety, loss, connection, and threat. It reflects dynamic interactions between mind, body, and life circumstances that deserve compassionate understanding, not avoidance. For an overview of how anxiety is defined and experienced, see the American Psychological Association’s anxiety resource.
The American Psychological Association (APA) describes anxiety as feelings of worry, tension, and physiological arousal that prepare a person for potential threat. While anxiety can become overwhelming or distressing, it is also a normal adaptive reaction in many settings, alerting us to danger, motivating preparation, and facilitating problem-solving.
This adaptive potential suggests a departure from viewing anxiety solely as pathology. Instead, anxiety as a signal can be understood as meaningful internal communication, signalling what has been experienced as unsafe, unresolved, uncertain, or emotionally unmet.
Anxiety is often rooted in anticipatory fear, the nervous system’s attempt to protect against unknown or painful experiences. Research commonly conceptualizes anxiety as a future-oriented state tied to anticipation and preparation for what may happen next (see, for example, Craske et al., 2017).
In clinical settings, many people with anxiety also struggle with unacknowledged loss, loss of identity, relationship changes, unmet needs, changes in health, or life transitions that have not been fully felt. When these losses go unexplored, the nervous system can stay activated, producing persistent vigilance and distress.
Therapeutically, when we begin to hold and explore these experiences with empathy, anxiety as a signal can lose its grip as a threat alarm and become a gateway to healing.
If loss is part of your story, you may appreciate this GoodTherapy piece on how grief can show up physically, and sometimes overlap with anxiety: the physical effects of grief.
Anxiety is not “just in your head.” It is deeply embodied and reflects how your nervous system has adapted to past and present experiences. Research consistently shows that anxiety activates physiological systems, heart rate, breathing, muscle tension, and vigilance, designed to protect the organism from danger (see, for example, Stein & Sareen, 2015).
This embodied aspect offers a powerful direction for therapy: instead of trying to control or suppress symptoms, therapeutic work often focuses on understanding and co-regulating the body’s signals. In this way, anxiety as a signal becomes a relational process between internal experience and external support.
Human beings are relational by nature. Anxiety often arises in the context of relationship experiences, attachment history, interpersonal losses, uncertainty in connection, or ongoing interpersonal stressors. One consistent finding across psychotherapy research is that the quality of the therapeutic alliance is strongly linked to outcomes (see Wampold & Imel, 2015).
This aligns with what many clients report: anxiety often decreases when they feel genuinely heard, reflected, and cared for, a process that cannot be reduced to “techniques” alone but requires authentic engagement.
If you’d like a clear definition of what we mean by “alliance,” GoodTherapy’s PsychPedia entry is a great starting point: therapeutic relationship (therapeutic alliance).
Here’s the reframe: this cycle isn’t “neediness.” It’s often the nervous system attempting to prevent rupture. Therapy can help you build steadier self-trust and ask for connection in ways that feel clearer and kinder to you.
Clinical research recognizes multiple empirically supported treatments for anxiety, including cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), acceptance-based approaches, and psychodynamic therapies.
While CBT remains the most widely studied and traditionally recommended psychotherapy for anxiety (see Hofmann et al., 2012), research also supports the efficacy of relational and insight-oriented therapies that attend to underlying emotional experience and meaning (see Leichsenring et al., 2017).
GoodTherapy also has a practical overview of CBT and anxiety here: CBT (and relaxation) for anxiety. Acceptance-based models can be especially helpful when you notice that fighting anxiety intensifies it. If you want to learn more about how avoidance can keep anxiety going, see: cognitive avoidance and acceptance-based behavioral therapy.
When clients begin therapy, many feel overwhelmed by anxiety, yet at deeper levels, this emotional energy points toward what matters most. Anxiety as a signal often marks domains of life where a person:
These experiences are not pathological weaknesses; they are meaningful emotional responses to life events that deserve recognition. When you shift your orientation from fighting anxiety to listening to anxiety, healing begins.
Sometimes anxiety as a signal was learned early, especially when caregivers were also overwhelmed. This GoodTherapy article describes how anxiety can function like a protective “alert system” in families: whose anxiety is it, anyway?
Therapy offers more than symptom reduction. It offers a space where anxiety can be understood, held, and transformed. Instead of avoiding discomfort, we gradually build the capacity to sit with it, understand its origin, and learn new ways of relating to internal experience.
Evidence supports that psychological treatments are effective for anxiety, and that the quality of connection between therapist and client plays a central role in outcomes. My approach integrates evidence-based techniques with relational depth, recognizing that anxiety as a signal is not merely something to suppress, but something to understand and transform.
If anxiety has been a persistent companion, interfering with your relationships, daily function, or sense of peace, I want you to know that your experience is valid, meaningful, and worthy of care. You do not have to navigate it alone.
Therapy is a space where your anxiety can be listened to with empathy, your history honoured with nuance, and your inner life gently supported toward healing.
These are common questions people ask when they start viewing anxiety as a signal.
A: It means approaching anxiety as information, not a personal failure. Anxiety can be your nervous system’s way of flagging uncertainty, unmet needs, overload, or something that feels emotionally important. When you ask “What is this protecting?” you often move from panic into clarity and self-compassion.
A: Start small and body-first. Exhale longer than you inhale, name five neutral things you can see, and place a hand on your chest or belly. Then ask: “What is the next kind, realistic step?” Calming is not about forcing anxiety away, it’s about helping your system feel a little safer so you can think more clearly.
A: Anxiety often spikes during transitions, uncertainty, and unprocessed sadness. If you’ve experienced changes in identity, relationships, health, or stability, anxiety may be signaling emotional work that needs space and support. If your worry comes with a sense of heaviness, longing, or “something ended,” grief may be part of the picture.
A: Consider support if anxiety disrupts sleep, work, relationships, or your sense of peace, or if you’re relying on avoidance to get through the day. You can start by exploring the GoodTherapy directory to find a clinician. If you’re in immediate danger or feel unable to stay safe, contact emergency services or reach out to the 988 Lifeline (U.S.) or 9-8-8 (Canada).
The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org.