You may have thought about therapy more than once. Maybe you have even opened a directory, read a few profiles, and then quietly closed the tab. A familiar worry talks you out of it. Other people have it worse. You are not in crisis. And what would you even say once you got there?
Therapist Amy Hooper hears some version of that all the time, and her answer is steady and reassuring. You do not have to be in crisis, carry a diagnosis, or know exactly what is wrong. You can come to therapy simply to understand yourself.
Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP, is a psychotherapist in Gaithersburg, Maryland, and the founder of Gaithersburg Counseling Center, a private practice she has grown since 2009 into a thriving boutique group practice with highly experienced therapists with a range of specialties. Amy and her team work with teens, adults individually as well as couples, and families. The therapists drawing on a range of approaches to best fit for each client such as trauma informed care, attachment-based work, intimacy and infidelity counseling using CBT, somatic therapy, art therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy and EMDR. Her practice often supports people navigating anxiety, trauma, self-esteem, relationships, depression, life transitions, and the quiet difficulty of speaking up for what you need and feeling good about yourself.
What comes through in her interview is a gentle insistence that therapy is not a last resort. It is a place to understand yourself, and you are allowed to walk in long before anything falls apart.
This is the worry that stops so many people at the door. They are not falling apart, so surely therapy is for someone else. Amy meets that idea head on, and it is the heart of how she thinks about her work.
You don’t have to have a diagnosed mental illness. You don’t have to be sick. You don’t have to be at the bottom of the barrel. You don’t have to be at a point where everything’s falling apart to start therapy. People go to therapy just to understand what’s going on for them.
– Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP
That is the whole reframe. Maybe you are having trouble concentrating, or something does not feel quite right in your relationship, or you are not sure how to relate to your kids or your parents. None of it requires a label or a breaking point. Therapy can simply be a place to understand yourself more clearly and live a little more calmly, before the small things become big ones.
If the idea of picking one therapist from a long list feels overwhelming, Amy has a freeing piece of advice. You do not have to get it right on the first try, and you are not locked in. Meet a few.
I really encourage clients to shop around. As you’re looking on the directory and seeing different therapists pop up, if you read their profile and it speaks to you, I would encourage making appointments with one or two or even three different therapists, just to get a feel for what it’s like to have an initial session.
– Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP
It is a generous thing to hear from someone who runs a practice, because it puts your fit ahead of bookings. If her own team is not the right match, Amy says, they help people find who is a better fit. You are allowed to be selective and directories like GoodTherapy make it easier to compare approaches, and our step-by-step guide to finding the right therapist walks through how.
Once you are in the room, how do you tell whether it is working? Not by their credentials alone, Amy says. Your own felt sense is the most reliable signal you have.
Trust your inner wisdom to know, wow, this person’s really easy to talk to, or after I talk to this person, I’m feeling a little bit lighter. Or maybe it was hard and I was crying during the session, but I trust them. Any of those feelings you have, I would listen to.
– Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP
If you walk in hoping to feel fixed by the end of the hour, the first session can surprise you. Often it feels like the therapist is mostly getting to know you. Amy wants you to know that is the point, not a delay.
The first session or two, the therapist is really starting to get to know you, to understand you. We do not want to be putting band-aids on bullet holes. We don’t want to be giving you these quick fixes before we even understand what’s happening.
– Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP
The deeper work tends to begin around the third or fourth session. That does not mean you are left struggling in the meantime. If anxiety is running high or your mood is very low, a good therapist helps with that right away. Here is what to expect in a first session.
How long until I feel better is, in Amy’s words, one of the greatest questions therapists are asked. The honest answer is that it depends on your goals, how often you go, and what you are working through. But she describes a hopeful shape to it, one that circles right back to understanding yourself.
Maybe at first the symptoms that are bothering you decrease, and then you get to know yourself better. Maybe you have different boundaries with different people. Maybe you’re living more authentically and more calmly. All of those things can happen over time. Some people come to therapy for five or ten sessions, and some for five or ten years. It really depends on your goals.
– Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP
Relief from specific symptoms, like better sleep or a calmer mind, often arrives early. The deeper changes unfold in layers. The point is that the timeline is yours, and progress that feels slow is not the same as therapy failing.
Maybe a therapist offers a few approaches, like talk therapy, art therapy, and somatic work, and one of them simply is not landing for you. Amy’s advice, fitting for someone who helps people learn to speak up for what they need, is to say so.
I would encourage clients to communicate that to the therapist they’re seeing, because so often we don’t say what’s wrong and don’t allow an opportunity to repair and course correct. But that can be the difference between sticking with your path of healing or pausing on it.
– Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP
Speaking up gives the relationship a chance to adjust. And if you raise it and the fit still is not right, that is okay too. Trusting that instinct and finding someone who suits you better is part of taking your care seriously.
Amy Hooper’s reflections emphasize the importance of timing in therapy. You do not have to wait until you are falling apart, have the perfect words, or feel like a textbook case. You can come to therapy to understand yourself, choose someone you trust, go at your own pace, and say what you need along the way.
It might feel really hard to call and ask for help, because so many of us have learned not to ask for help. But that’s what we’re here to do. Everybody deserves to have support. You deserve to have support too.
– Amy Hooper, LCSW-C, CEAP
If Amy’s words resonate with you, explore her GoodTherapy profile to learn more about her approach. If you are still looking for the right person, browse the GoodTherapy directory to find a therapist whose style fits your needs. You might also enjoy our spotlights with Brooke Pomerantz and Annette Popernik.
Costs vary with your location, the therapist’s experience, and whether you use insurance. Many therapists offer sliding-scale fees, and some accept insurance, so it is worth asking on a first call. See our guide to how much therapy costs, or filter the directory for therapists who take your insurance.
It depends on your goals and what you are working through. As Amy notes, someone going weekly often sees change faster than someone going once a month. Many people begin weekly or every other week, then adjust the pace with their therapist as they make progress.
That is completely normal, and you do not need the right words to begin. Part of a therapist’s job is to help you make sense of what you are feeling, even when it is vague or hard to name. You can simply start with what brought you in, or say that you are not sure where to start.
For many people and concerns, online therapy can be as effective as meeting in person, with the added benefit of flexibility. Some people feel more at ease at home, while others prefer being in the room. Many therapists, including Amy, offer both. You can explore telehealth options in the directory.
In general, yes. Therapists follow professional and legal standards to protect your privacy, with limited exceptions, such as when there is a risk of serious harm. If this matters to you, you can ask a therapist to explain how confidentiality works in their practice during a first call.
The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org.