My Approach to Helping
Greetings. I get it. You are in pain. You are hurt. You are unhappy. The most important person in your life has hurt you. You were hoping and wanting your spouse, your boyfriend or girlfriend or family member to be there and meet your needs and desires. But they have let you down. And you're tired. Tired of the arguing, tired of the pain, tired of the accusations.
You want a healthy relationship but now it seems you have an unhealthy relationship and both of you are stuck and tired. The accusations, the blame, and being critical of each other has left you anxious, doubtful of what to do. You are running out of hope. I do empathize with you and I feel your pain.
In response to spouses and peoples pain, I have written a book that I believe address the pain and hurt you feel in your marriage or other relationships. The Title of my book is "Creating The Healthy Marriage You Want" and the subtitle is: Stop Accusing and Start Accepting One Another. You can learn more about my book by going to my website which will take you to link informing you more about my book. You can also go to:
The goal of the book is to asses your marriage based upon the top ten differences between unhealthy versus healthy habits and patterns that you can create. Studies show when you are eating food that is healthy, you will become healthy. The same can be said for choosing healthy patterns in your marriage as this will lead to greater love, trust and acceptance. I don't know about you, but I believe all spouses do want to feel accepted in their marriage.
When you are ready to end the pain by talking to a therapist that understands your pain, give me a call. Let me help you move from the accusations and blame to acceptance and comfort.
When you break your leg, you see a doctor. When your experience emotional and relationship pain, and your heart is broken, please see a therapist. I will be there for you and when you are ready, I look forward to support and caring for you, helping you heal your pain. Don't give up. Call me and let's work together to help you have healthy close relationships for your life.
More Info About My Practice
Greetings. I am a panel network provider for Blue Cross and Blue Shield of California. I am able to offer a sliding scale given many people do have insurance and sometimes they do not pay for mental health coverage. I also want to inform you my wife and I can provide therapy for you. My wife is not a therapist but she has training as a peer counselor and is a nurse and sometimes couples who come to see us, value having a husband and wife sitting before them. Our office is located in the back of our house so we are not on some busy street in a large office complex. There is plenty of parking on our street or you can park in our driveway. Many people find our home office much more comfortable.
On the Fence About Going to Therapy?
As a therapist, I do love helping and working with people to help them heal and grow. I always congratulate people who have the nerve and the courage to seek out therapy. Seeing a therapist is no different than seeking out other professionals in your life.
When people are on the fence about therapy, it is due to them being hesitant talking to someone about their personal life. Often they tell themselves they can fix themselves, they don't need someone to help them, and go into survivor mode trying to cure themselves. I have worked in hospitals and it always amazes me that people will have a pain in their stomach and will put up with it for a long time before they come to the emergency room only to discover their gallbladder or liver is infected and they need to be admitted. But once they get the antibiotics for their infection, their pain goes away.
In the same way, counseling is like an antibiotic in which a good therapist will give you the 'talk medicine' to heal your emotional and relationship pain. People stuff their pain, or put on a mask and say they're fine, but deep down they are hurting and privately they try to fix their pain using food, or drugs, alcohol, or isolation to numb their pain, but not heal their pain.
Going to therapy is to come out of the darkness and into the light and confess, and stop hiding from receiving the 'talk' medicine you need to heal your pain. Pursue healing, not hiding or trying to fix yourself.
How My Own Struggles Made Me a Better Therapist
I do feel and believe when you are seeing a therapist, a therapist can be real and authentic confessing they too are broken just like you. I too have had to seek out therapy for my self back in my early twenties for a few years to deal with a broken relationship. Over the years, I have been seeking out various books and people not only to grow as a therapist but as a person.
For those of you who are familiar with the books written by Henry Cloud and John Townsend, I too have benefited from their work. For example, their book on "Boundaries: When to Say Yes; How to Say No", not only has helped me take ownership of my life, but I have used their book to run small groups or have recommended their book to many of my clients.
To become a healthy therapist and a healthy person, I have found this book to greatly affect how I have moved out of being a co-dependent to become a person who is comfortable with saying no and not feeling guilty. Learning how to say no and protect yourself is a big key to how to do life.