My Approach to Helping
It's my belief that most of us really try to do the best we can in life. But have you ever felt "stuck"? Like you know what you're doing isn't working, but you don't know how to change it?
Or have you ever felt like a life event has really knocked you for a loop such as being downsized out of a job, or losing your home because of a financial crisis? How are you supposed to deal with it when you've played by the rules and still lost?
That's when it can really help to have someone you trust to talk things over with, someone who won't judge or criticize you, someone who will support you through the hard times. And if that someone just happens to have a wacky sense of humor, so much the better. (Well, at least the folks I talk with seem to enjoy a good laugh, too.)
You might come to see me when you're having problems at home like arguing with your spouse or partner, or struggling to deal with a difficult teenager.
You might come when you're feeling stressed and worn out because you're spread too thin from taking care of everyone else and never having any time for yourself.
Or you might come when you realize you're doing the same thing over and over again with the same unsatisfactory result.
We'll work together as partners to explore new ways of doing things to find what works for you. I'll bring my knowledge and experience to the table and you choose what feels right to you.
It is my honor and privilege to help and support people through their hard times in life; to change old habits and behaviors that aren't working any more, to heal old wounds, and to learn new and better tools for living. I truly love what I do and I'd love to help you, too.
Specific Issue(s) I'm Skilled at Helping With
I really love helping people realize how their beliefs about themselves and how Life works, actually shapes their experience of life. When a child grows up feeling like there is something wrong with them, or that no matter how hard they try it isn't good enough, they often become adults who expect to be treated poorly by others. And because it hurts to be treated badly, they go out of their way to avoid conflict. They'd rather give in and go along with whatever the other person wants instead of making waves or standing up for themselves. And in their hearts, they're hoping the other(s) will eventually notice all the sacrifices they've made and begin to appreciate and give back.
Too often, that isn't what happens. And then they're sad, depressed, tired, stressed, and without joy.
I love using EMDR to help people rewrite those beliefs into a new, deeper understanding of themselves that includes all their maturity and experience gained through the years so that they can begin to assert themselves. I love being able to explain WHY these early experiences and the beliefs they've generated are so incredibly powerful, that they aren't broken or damaged or sick, just stuck with an old script. And we can rewrite that script!
And that is truly thrilling! And life changing! And wonderful! I'm so happy and so lucky to be able to offer that service in the world.
Why Going to Therapy Does Not Mean You are Weak or Flawed
In my view, consulting a therapist is just like consulting any other type of specialist such as a computer specialist, an auto mechanic, a home builder, or a personal trainer at a gym. Specialists study the areas they're interested in and then share what they've learned with people who come to them with questions.
As a therapist, I'm a "people specialist." I have years of talking with and learning about people, how they live and interact with others, how they handle work and responsibilities, how they resolve (or struggle to resolve) conflicts with their loved ones, how they (mis)communicate what is in their hearts.
People are incredibly resilient and resourceful, but sometimes they simply run out of ideas of how to change a difficult or painful situation into one that works better for them. When that happens, it's helpful to have a "people specialist" to consult.