My Approach to Helping
When your relationships aren't working, everything else seems that much harder; it's tough to know what to do. You've tried everything, but feel like you're getting nowhere - like you are losing ground.
You might feel:
That same argument keeps coming up, though you though you'd 'solved' it many times before.
You get that nagging feeling like something else is going on, but can't put your finger on it.
You may even get the sinking feeling that you've been in this relationship before - but with a different person.
You ask yourself, 'How did this happen, again?!'
It makes sense that your energy for this is waning -
It's exhausting when you are so good at coming up with solutions in other parts of your life; but in your most important relationships, those same strategies fall short.
You don't have to live like this forever.
Together, we will create a new understanding about what's really happening within you, and in your relationships, and learn to communicate on that level, every single day. Together, we will create a roadmap to lasting change, that reaches into all aspects of your life!
What I Love about Being a Psychotherapist
This is so much more than just work that I love - it is a calling.
It is incredibly rewarding to be with you in your 'aha' moments, in which you discover something that largely explains the mystery of why you do what you do. I'm honored to be with you as you see the potential to create different ways of being that make your life more satisfying.
Coming from a place of compassion, I am so very curious about you. There is no space for judgment in the therapy room. You have very good reasons for doing what you do - you make complete sense, and once we get those underlying meanings, it's like a light breaks through.
Even when it's been a tough session, we've likely gotten somewhere you couldn't have before.
I am constantly amazed by your capacity for change; and I am honored to support you on this road.
What I Say to People Concerned about the Therapy Process
When you have a big, beautiful house, you need to do maintenance work to keep it that way. You call plumbers, electricians, and landscapers to help you keep that structure, a place you want to live.
Sometimes you decide you've outgrown a space and call a contractor. You overhaul a room, or an entire area of that beautiful home.
And sometimes, despite your best efforts, the pipes burst; the basement floods; the foundation is compromised. And you find yourself desperately on the phone with all kinds of professionals you never knew existed.
This is similar to how therapy can work.
Sometimes you seek a therapist because there is a crisis, like the flooded basement. Maybe life got so crazy, you lost track and didn't maintain what worked in your life; and it broke down. This is a great time to get support immediately, before you lose more ground.
On the other hand, sometimes you come in because you're stuck in a rut, or because you're just not feeling balanced, and your regular outlets aren't helping enough. Maybe it's time for an overhaul, like when you re-do your kitchen.
Maybe you just need some tweaking of some of the things that still work. A little paint, a little oil -
It makes sense to call a professional when your best efforts aren't producing the results you'd like to see; it's the smart thing to do.
The Duration and Frequency of Therapy
For most people, weekly sessions make the most sense, so the discussion stays fresh, and we keep up the energy for the work. The length of a therapy session is usually 50 minutes, and the reason for that is that it seems to be about as long as you can keep your attention and energy on one thing, without a break.
Because of the interpersonal nature of couples work, the best results come from weekly 75-minute sessions; that gives us enough time for a little more than a full hour of actual process with time at both ends to transition in and out of the therapeutic space.