My Approach to Helping
Transgender, non-binary, and queer-identified people often face very unique life situations.
* Are you exploring your gender and/or sexual identity?
* Are you navigating cisgender/hetero spaces as someone who isn't out?
* Are you living "stealth" and feeling frustrated or lost in a world that's changed considerably in recent years?
* Do you experience shame or guilt around your sexual practices or desires?
* Are you wondering how to navigate the dating world with unique sexual interests/desires?
* Are you exploring opening up your relationship to others?
These types of questions can really weigh you down and contribute to feeling isolated and lonely. You might be bothered more frequently by thoughts and feelings that have been present for years. Having a safe and non-judgmental therapist to explore your thoughts and feelings in a safe, non-judgmental space can be a huge relief. Holding secrets inside can wear on you and get heavier and heavier over time. Taking care of yourself and talking through these challenges is difficult so congratulations on taking the first step and exploring therapy.
More Info About My Practice
Holding secrets inside can weigh you down...and get heavier and heavier over time. Taking care of yourself and talking through these challenges is difficult so congratulations on taking the first step and exploring therapy. That's a big step!
Choosing the right therapist can be a daunting process. It can feel like an overwhelming hunt through pictures and posts of therapists saying very similar things. Only through connection and understanding can you and I build a collaborative relationship that helps you through the steps of therapy --free of assumptions and judgment. Whether you are looking to change patterns in your life that just aren't working for you anymore or exploring major life decisions, you deserve compassion, empathy, and respect and you'll find that in my office.
My office is in the Mid-Wilshire area just off of Wilshire Blvd close to San Vincente Blvd. I have convenient office hours with most openings weeknights and on the weekends right now.
My Therapy Focus
Most of my clients are struggling with or have struggled with gender identity, sexual orientation, or sexual interests that are outside of the mainstream (kink, BDSM, poly, etc.) at some point in their life. I've seen clients that transitioned 30 years ago and are struggling to make meaning of their experience given the recent explosion of transgender issues in the news. I also have clients who are deeply in the closet about their gender identity or sexual orientation and just need a place to be authentic and talk about feelings they've never talked to anyone else about.
Although these subjects might bring someone into my office, they are rarely the sole focus of our therapy sessions. Life is rarely just about gender or sexuality; we will make space for whatever is going on in your life at the time. We'll focus on things that brought you into my office, but we'll also meander off the beaten path many times, only to return to what brought you in. Know that you will have a safe space to process whatever is going on in your life no matter what the subject. If gender and/or sexuality isn't your struggle right now, we can focus on other things going on in your life.
What I Usually Need to Know to Help
So what will we need to talk about to help you get relief or feel better than when you came into my office? Great question...each person is different and their life experiences from birth to the time they come in my office vary widely. Two people who experienced the same type of event or are going through the same type of experience may have two different outcomes and ways of looking at that issue. We'll explore the reason for you coming to therapy and look at the events and processes around that reason. Sometimes clients will come in to work on anxiety or depression and we'll explore past life events that could be triggering these emotions or thoughts and beliefs clients have about themselves that lead to those feelings.
Some clients are afraid that they will have to talk about things that are uncomfortable or that they've never talked about before. This does happen in therapy but it's important that we both respect your boundaries and build a relationship based on trust over time. We will talk about things that aren't always comfortable, but that process and feelings that come up during that process are really important to examine. Why are they uncomfortable? What do you tell yourself as a result of those thoughts or beliefs? These are things we'll look at as we build a safe space to explore in my office.
Had a Negative Therapy Experience?
You may have had an experience where you didn't have a good fit with a therapist, that happens. Let's talk about what didn't feel good for you and what we can do to make your experience with me a positive one. You can feel very vulnerable in a therapist's office and it's my job to help you feel comfortable and safe in that space. I take that very seriously and will talk about that with you. I want you to have a positive experience that goes at a pace you are comfortable with in a way that feels right to you.
The Duration and Frequency of Therapy
Therapy can be a lifelong process for some people and a short-term, solution-focused process for others. Some people have a specific challenge they are trying to overcome (making a major life decision, changing careers, transitioning gender, coming out as gay or queer) and others have more nuanced issues like feeling "stuck" or navigating new relationships. We'll talk through the right frequency of therapy, but we'll usually see each other once per week at the same time on the same day for 50 minutes. Sometimes we'll see each other twice per week if your health requires more frequent visits, but we'll discuss that at the beginning of therapy. You may have heard that you will have times where you feel worse leaving therapy and that's true. That's because we're sometimes exploring territory that you don't usually explore with another person. There are times I might challenge your views of yourself and that might feel uncomfortable but you'll find that you learn more about yourself and how you developed these beliefs, which beliefs you hold near and which ones you don't care for. We'll get a lot of that and do the emotional "heavy lifting" together so that you can get to a better place. In the end, the goal is to be in a better place and I'll be there with you throughout your journey. It might feel new, maybe even scary, but we'll take our time and work together.