My Approach to Helping
Each of us longs to be loved and accepted for the person we truly are. There is no better opportunity than our love relationship for us to be fully ourselves. Ironically, since our partner is so central to our life, his or her validation becomes critical and we are inclined to hide our true self. We become guarded from the most important person in our lives.
The soul-baring intimacy and willingness to know and be known that made the beginning of love so passionate and exciting becomes simply functional. It is replaced with feelings of apprehension. Over time we move from a passionate open relationship to one that is quietly cautious. It may work as a partnership, but the spark of the early years is down to embers, at best.
You may wonder if it is possible to regain genuine connection. I am a psychologist specializing in work with couples for many years and I provide an efficient, clinically tested program that I have used successfully with couples in my practice. It is not about trying to change each other, which is a waste of time. It is about understanding each other and ourselves at a deeper level than ever before.
Typically, I invite couples (or an individual struggling with relationship issues) to write me before our first meeting so that I can think about the issues and make sure we get to work quickly and efficiently. I might add, for those struggling with sexual issues, I supervised the training in a Long Island hospital-based Sexuality Center for 20 years and among my nearly 20 published books are several on sexual issues.