My Approach to Helping
"I won't do this ever again. I'll just try harder this time." "I can't let anyone else know about this. What will they think of me?" These are thoughts that many of you men struggle with when trying to overcome issues like pornography, sexting, having sex with multiple partners, etc...
You don't want to keep falling into the same behaviors and you can't ask for help because people may look down on you. However, at this point, things have either gotten so bad with whatever sex issue you're dealing with or you've been caught by your significant other and now you have to find some help. You really don't have a choice at this point. I get it. I understand. And no matter how much someone says they understand, making the phone call for help doesn't get any easier. Take a deep breath, have some faith, make the phone call. I'm here to listen.
My Role as a Therapist
Guys, I'm simply a pair of ears. As you are going through your recovery you need someone to hear you, to understand what you're going through, and not judge. For most guys trying to overcome compulsive sexual behaviors like using pornography, sleeping around, masturbation, sexting, etc., simply talking about the issues lifts the very heavy burden of carrying all those secrets alone. Believe it or not, just opening up and talking about the issues is one of the biggest steps, one of the first steps, in recovery and it produces results. Now, I'm not going to lie, there's more to recovery than opening up, but this step leads to the rest of getting better. As a therapist I start by listening and then we'll work together to provide the tools and skills you'll need to get better.
On the Fence About Going to Therapy?
Many of you men out there struggling with sex issues like masturbation, pornography, having multiple sex partners, sexting, etc. are on the fence about going to therapy. "Therapy doesn't work!" many of you will say. My question to you is, "Is what you're doing now working for you?" If you are still 'going it alone', as the saying goes, I'm pretty sure you're still falling back into the same sexual behaviors you're trying to overcome. It's more than likely that you've been trying to overcome your sexual problems by yourself for a long time and that you want to keep it that way. However, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is simply spinning your wheels. You'll never get anywhere. So I challenge you to do something different. Try therapy with someone who understands what you're going through.