{"id":7825,"date":"2011-01-19T10:52:14","date_gmt":"2011-01-19T17:52:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=7825"},"modified":"2024-03-28T12:33:29","modified_gmt":"2024-03-28T16:33:29","slug":"self-esteem-goals","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/self-esteem-goals\/","title":{"rendered":"Setting Goals for Self Esteem"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"GoodTherapyDid you make a new year\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s resolution to do something differently in 2011? If so, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re in a great position to improve your self-esteem<\/a> while you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re at it.<\/p>\n

Your level of self-esteem reflects the relationship you have with yourself. The more your relationship with you is based on trust, respect, interest and affection, the better your self-esteem. Having this kind of relationship doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mean looking the other way when you screw up, or pretending it didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t happen. It means holding yourself accountable in a respectful and constructive way.<\/p>\n

One of the easiest ways to practice holding yourself accountable is by setting goals. Self-esteem is enhanced when you set a goal that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s meaningful and important to you, and you follow through to make it happen. So if you want to improve your reputation with yourself, go ahead and set some heartfelt goals.<\/p>\n

If you want to set yourself up for success, make sure your goals are S.M.A.R.T.<\/em><\/strong>: S<\/strong>pecific, M<\/strong>easurable, A<\/strong>chievable, R<\/strong>ealistic and T<\/strong>ime-bound. Let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s set a S.M.A.R.T. goal together so you can see how it works..<\/p>\n

Let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s look at something that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s important and meaningful to you, the completion of which will provide you with a boost. What is something you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re either doing or not-doing, that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s affecting your relationship with yourself? Let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s set a goal around that.<\/p>\n

Imagine that, like the rest of us, you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t always do what you say you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re going to do. Somehow, the things you want for yourself just don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t happen. Something always gets in the way of pursuing your dreams. If this has been going on for years, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re probably starting to feel like maybe you should just give up.<\/p>\n

What about that book you know you have inside you? You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve told yourself many times to start working on it … maybe you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve even started it but don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t often feel moved to work on it. Why not get that book written using a S.M.A.R.T. goal?<\/p>\n

Let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s start with the kind of goal we typically make on New Year\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Eve: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153This year, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to write more.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a good start, but as a goal, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a little too vague. How much more are you going to write? And what do you want to write?<\/p>\n

Try this: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to write a book.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s nice and Specific<\/strong>; you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re not just saying you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re going to write more, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re saying your going to write a book.<\/p>\n

And now we need to make sure the goal is Measurable<\/strong>. Just to be safe, let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s change the wording to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to finish<\/em> my book.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Now you have a specific activity, writing a book, that you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll know you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve achieved when the book is finished. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Measurable\u00e2\u20ac\u009d means you have a particular way of knowing you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve achieved your goal. Let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s say in this case that when you finish your first draft you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve met your goal.<\/p>\n

You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll also need to be able to measure your progress toward the goal, so you can stay on track. Let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s say you decide to write every morning for an hour before going to work. If you do that, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll know you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re on the path to achieving your goal. And if you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t do it, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll know exactly how you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re keeping that goal from being achieved. And speaking of that…<\/p>\n

Is your goal Achievable<\/strong>? Let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s see. Many others have written books before you, which means it is literally possible. You have a great idea for a book, you have the desire, and you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re willing to carve out some time in your schedule to write it. Finishing your book, therefore, seems like an achievable goal.<\/p>\n

If your goal is to write a college physics textbook that makes the #1 spot on the New York Times Best-Seller List, well, that might not be so achievable, since textbooks don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t typically even make that particular list, let alone gain the top position. Make sure your goal is something that can be done so you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t drive yourself nuts chasing an impossible dream. At the same time, don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t assume that just because something is difficult means it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not achievable.<\/p>\n

Next, ask yourself this: Is your goal\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s schedule Realistic <\/strong>for you? Are you really going to get up an hour early and write before going to work every day? If the answer is \u00e2\u20ac\u0153probably not,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d your goal as it stands is not realistic and needs to be tweaked. Maybe you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re more of a night person. How about writing for 4 hours a week in the evenings? Can you find two 2-hour blocks in the evening, or one block of 4 hours once a week? Say you decide that you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll write every Sunday night from 6pm to 10pm. If that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a time that you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re likely to sit down and do it, your schedule is realistic.<\/p>\n

Lastly, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll need to set a Time-bound <\/strong>deadline for the attainment of your goal. When will you finish your book? By your next birthday? By December 31st<\/sup>? Choose a deadline that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s both reasonable and motivating. If it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s too soon, it may be unrealistic. If it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s too far in the future, you will not be motivated to work toward it. Let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s say you choose Dec. 31st<\/sup> of this year.<\/p>\n

So we went from \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I want to write more\u00e2\u20ac\u009d to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I want to finish my book on or before Dec. 31st<\/sup> of this year by writing for 4 hours every Sunday night.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Now you have a specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound (SMART) goal with built-in tasks to get you there. And more importantly, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve made a promise to yourself. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the keeping of that promise, more than the attainment of this or any goal, that will enhance your self-esteem.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Did you make a new year\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s resolution to do something differently in 2011? If so, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re in a great position to improve your self-esteem while you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re at it. Your level of self-esteem reflects the relationship you have with yourself. The more your relationship with you is based on trust, respect, interest and affection, the better […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":532,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_crdt_document":"","_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[25,115],"class_list":["post-7825","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-psychotherapy-issues","tag-self-esteem"],"acf":{"author_show":false,"author_name":"","author_role":"","author_avatar":null,"author_profile_url":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7825","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/532"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7825"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7825\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7825"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7825"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7825"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}