{"id":7825,"date":"2011-01-19T10:52:14","date_gmt":"2011-01-19T17:52:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=7825"},"modified":"2024-03-28T12:33:29","modified_gmt":"2024-03-28T16:33:29","slug":"self-esteem-goals","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/self-esteem-goals\/","title":{"rendered":"Setting Goals for Self Esteem"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"GoodTherapyDid you make a new year\u2019s resolution to do something differently in 2011? If so, you\u2019re in a great position to improve your self-esteem<\/a> while you\u2019re at it.<\/p>\n

Your level of self-esteem reflects the relationship you have with yourself. The more your relationship with you is based on trust, respect, interest and affection, the better your self-esteem. Having this kind of relationship doesn\u2019t mean looking the other way when you screw up, or pretending it didn\u2019t happen. It means holding yourself accountable in a respectful and constructive way.<\/p>\n

One of the easiest ways to practice holding yourself accountable is by setting goals. Self-esteem is enhanced when you set a goal that\u2019s meaningful and important to you, and you follow through to make it happen. So if you want to improve your reputation with yourself, go ahead and set some heartfelt goals.<\/p>\n

If you want to set yourself up for success, make sure your goals are S.M.A.R.T.<\/em><\/strong>: S<\/strong>pecific, M<\/strong>easurable, A<\/strong>chievable, R<\/strong>ealistic and T<\/strong>ime-bound. Let\u2019s set a S.M.A.R.T. goal together so you can see how it works..<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s look at something that\u2019s important and meaningful to you, the completion of which will provide you with a boost. What is something you\u2019re either doing or not-doing, that\u2019s affecting your relationship with yourself? Let\u2019s set a goal around that.<\/p>\n

Imagine that, like the rest of us, you don\u2019t always do what you say you\u2019re going to do. Somehow, the things you want for yourself just don\u2019t happen. Something always gets in the way of pursuing your dreams. If this has been going on for years, you\u2019re probably starting to feel like maybe you should just give up.<\/p>\n

What about that book you know you have inside you? You\u2019ve told yourself many times to start working on it … maybe you\u2019ve even started it but don\u2019t often feel moved to work on it. Why not get that book written using a S.M.A.R.T. goal?<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s start with the kind of goal we typically make on New Year\u2019s Eve: \u201cThis year, I\u2019m going to write more.\u201d It\u2019s a good start, but as a goal, it\u2019s a little too vague. How much more are you going to write? And what do you want to write?<\/p>\n

Try this: \u201cI\u2019m going to write a book.\u201d That\u2019s nice and Specific<\/strong>; you\u2019re not just saying you\u2019re going to write more, you\u2019re saying your going to write a book.<\/p>\n

And now we need to make sure the goal is Measurable<\/strong>. Just to be safe, let\u2019s change the wording to \u201cI\u2019m going to finish<\/em> my book.\u201d Now you have a specific activity, writing a book, that you\u2019ll know you\u2019ve achieved when the book is finished. \u201cMeasurable\u201d means you have a particular way of knowing you\u2019ve achieved your goal. Let\u2019s say in this case that when you finish your first draft you\u2019ve met your goal.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ll also need to be able to measure your progress toward the goal, so you can stay on track. Let\u2019s say you decide to write every morning for an hour before going to work. If you do that, you\u2019ll know you\u2019re on the path to achieving your goal. And if you don\u2019t do it, you\u2019ll know exactly how you\u2019re keeping that goal from being achieved. And speaking of that…<\/p>\n

Is your goal Achievable<\/strong>? Let\u2019s see. Many others have written books before you, which means it is literally possible. You have a great idea for a book, you have the desire, and you\u2019re willing to carve out some time in your schedule to write it. Finishing your book, therefore, seems like an achievable goal.<\/p>\n

If your goal is to write a college physics textbook that makes the #1 spot on the New York Times Best-Seller List, well, that might not be so achievable, since textbooks don\u2019t typically even make that particular list, let alone gain the top position. Make sure your goal is something that can be done so you don\u2019t drive yourself nuts chasing an impossible dream. At the same time, don\u2019t assume that just because something is difficult means it\u2019s not achievable.<\/p>\n

Next, ask yourself this: Is your goal\u2019s schedule Realistic <\/strong>for you? Are you really going to get up an hour early and write before going to work every day? If the answer is \u201cprobably not,\u201d your goal as it stands is not realistic and needs to be tweaked. Maybe you\u2019re more of a night person. How about writing for 4 hours a week in the evenings? Can you find two 2-hour blocks in the evening, or one block of 4 hours once a week? Say you decide that you\u2019ll write every Sunday night from 6pm to 10pm. If that\u2019s a time that you\u2019re likely to sit down and do it, your schedule is realistic.<\/p>\n

Lastly, you\u2019ll need to set a Time-bound <\/strong>deadline for the attainment of your goal. When will you finish your book? By your next birthday? By December 31st<\/sup>? Choose a deadline that\u2019s both reasonable and motivating. If it\u2019s too soon, it may be unrealistic. If it\u2019s too far in the future, you will not be motivated to work toward it. Let\u2019s say you choose Dec. 31st<\/sup> of this year.<\/p>\n

So we went from \u201cI want to write more\u201d to \u201cI want to finish my book on or before Dec. 31st<\/sup> of this year by writing for 4 hours every Sunday night.\u201d Now you have a specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound (SMART) goal with built-in tasks to get you there. And more importantly, you\u2019ve made a promise to yourself. It\u2019s the keeping of that promise, more than the attainment of this or any goal, that will enhance your self-esteem.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Did you make a new year?s resolution to do something differently in 2011? If so, you?re in a great position to improve your self-esteem while you?re at it. Your level of self-esteem reflects the relationship you have with yourself. The more your relationship with you is based on trust, respect, interest and affection, the better […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":532,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[25,115],"class_list":["post-7825","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-psychotherapy-issues","tag-self-esteem"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7825","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/532"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7825"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7825\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7825"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7825"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7825"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}