{"id":43664,"date":"2024-12-20T13:38:19","date_gmt":"2024-12-20T18:38:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=43664"},"modified":"2024-12-18T13:39:14","modified_gmt":"2024-12-18T18:39:14","slug":"5-self-counseling-skills-for-managing-stress-at-holiday-gatherings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/5-self-counseling-skills-for-managing-stress-at-holiday-gatherings\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Self-Counseling Skills for Managing Stress at Holiday Gatherings"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-43666 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Managing-stress-holidays-blog--300x300.png\" alt=\"4 friends having Christmas Dinner with Turkey\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" title=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Managing-stress-holidays-blog--300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Managing-stress-holidays-blog--800x800.png 800w, https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Managing-stress-holidays-blog--200x200.png 200w, https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Managing-stress-holidays-blog-.png 1080w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>Few are immune to the stress that holiday gatherings can induce. Social pressures, personal expectations, and differences in lifestyles or personal values can be tricky to navigate. When holiday gatherings feel more overwhelming than anything else, utilizing a few effective self-counseling skills can help you prepare for and manage these gatherings with confidence and self-care.\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Identify your feelings and emotional needs<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Self-awareness can be one of the most effective self-counseling skills for navigating stress around holiday gatherings. Our feelings provide us with important information about our emotional needs. If you notice that you feel nervous or anxious about a gathering, ask yourself, \u201cWhat emotional need might be going unmet and is resulting in this anxiety?\u201d Emotional needs are things like connection, authenticity, play, hope, or safety (among many others). Consider how you can meet these needs independently and, when appropriate, share them with trusted others.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Set boundaries<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">We\u2019ve all had moments when someone\u2019s words or actions left us feeling hurt, drained, or overwhelmed. These experiences underscore the importance of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/psychpedia\/boundaries\">setting boundaries<\/a>\u2014the invisible lines that help define where we end, and others begin. Setting and maintaining these boundaries is vital for resilience, self-care, and healthy relationships.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span data-contrast=\"auto\">To prepare for potentially difficult conversations, practice responses like:<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"16\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u201cI\u2019m not comfortable discussing that topic right now.\u201d<\/span><\/i><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"16\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"2\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u201cI appreciate your concern, but I need some space to think about this.\u201d<\/span><\/i><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"16\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"3\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u201cI see we have different perspectives on that.\u201d<\/span><\/i><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Remember, boundaries aren\u2019t about shutting others out\u2014they\u2019re about honoring both yourself and those around you. Ask yourself, \u201cWhat is a likely result of not setting boundaries?\u201d Potentially feeling hurt or resentful? This is why setting boundaries is an act of care that strengthens your relationships and preserves your peace of mind.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Commit to self-validation<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">When you validate someone, you acknowledge the reality of their unique human experience\u2014without judgment. Self-validation, therefore, refers to the ability to recognize, accept, and affirm your own feelings without judgment or external approval. Practicing self-validation is an essential skill for emotional health and well-being.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span data-contrast=\"auto\">How to practice self-validation:<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"17\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Recognize and name your feelings. Simply being aware of your emotions is the first step toward accepting them.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"17\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"2\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Use non-judgmental self-talk. Notice if you are \u201cshould-ing\u201d on yourself with thoughts like \u201cI shouldn\u2019t feel this way\u201d or \u201cThey should make an attempt to understand me\u201d. Releasing judgments can promote a more empathetic and understanding attitude toward yourself and others.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"17\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"3\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Seek internal validation. When you feel the need for others to agree with you, pause and ask yourself, \u201cHow will others\u2019 opinions make me feel better in this moment?\u201d Instead of relying on someone else to say the \u201cright\u201d thing, trust your inner voice and give yourself the affirmation you need.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Let your values lead your behavior<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Clarifying your personal values can simplify your decision-making processes. When you&#8217;re asked to compromise or go along with the group, aligning with your core values can help reduce stress and anxiety, strengthen self-respect, and foster meaningful connections.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Example in Action:<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"18\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">If honesty is a core value, you may feel confident in telling the truth, even if it\u2019s uncomfortable, because you know it aligns with your integrity.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"18\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"2\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">If <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/psychpedia\/definition-of-compassion\">compassion<\/a> is a guiding value, you might find it easier to connect with others on an emotional level, which can lead to more fulfilling and confident social interactions.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"18\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"3\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">If fairness is a personal value, it may lead you to prioritize decisions that are just and equitable, while working to find solutions that respect everyone involved.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">When you&#8217;re clear on your values and make choices that are aligned with them, you&#8217;re less likely to feel conflicted or overwhelmed. Aligning with your values helps you stay calm and composed, and it allows you to act consistently in varying situations.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Plan a small reward for yourself to enjoy after the gathering<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">End on a positive note by celebrating your effort to show up for yourself and others. Plan a reward\u2014something relaxing or uplifting that honors your commitment to emotional <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/self-care\">self-care<\/a>. This can also be thought of as a form of self-soothing. Self-soothing is a powerful self-counseling skill for distress tolerance. Think about self-soothing using your five senses.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Examples:<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"19\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Enjoy a favorite snack, take a walk, or watch a movie.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"19\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"2\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Journal about the experience to process any remaining thoughts or emotions.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"19\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"3\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Light a candle, boil cinnamon, or take a shower using your favorite smelling soap.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Holiday gatherings may come with their share of challenges, but by prioritizing these effective self-counseling skills, you might uncover a remarkable strength in your ability to care for yourself and others. These are skills that strengthen over time, so give yourself permission to take pride in your efforts. Allow yourself grace to do what feels best for you. What works for you may not work for others\u2014and that\u2019s okay.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Few are immune to the stress that holiday gatherings can induce. Social pressures, personal expectations, and differences in lifestyles or personal values can be tricky to navigate. When holiday gatherings feel more overwhelming than anything else, utilizing a few effective self-counseling skills can help you prepare for and manage these gatherings with confidence and self-care.??? [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3201,"featured_media":43665,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2263,542,2095,628,1],"tags":[2198,2112,781,2265],"class_list":["post-43664","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-holiday-topics","category-featured-articles","category-find-therapist","category-general","category-uncategorized","tag-holiday-anxiety","tag-holiday-stress","tag-stress-management","tag-stressful-holiday-season"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43664","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3201"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=43664"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43664\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/43665"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=43664"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=43664"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=43664"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}