{"id":43621,"date":"2024-12-06T09:08:50","date_gmt":"2024-12-06T14:08:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=43621"},"modified":"2024-12-06T09:08:50","modified_gmt":"2024-12-06T14:08:50","slug":"four-techniques-for-managing-grief-during-the-holiday-season","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/four-techniques-for-managing-grief-during-the-holiday-season\/","title":{"rendered":"Four Techniques for Managing Grief During the Holiday Season"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-43622 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/grief-blog--300x300.png\" alt=\"Person walking in snow \" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" title=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/grief-blog--300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/grief-blog--800x800.png 800w, https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/grief-blog--200x200.png 200w, https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/grief-blog-.png 1080w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>The holiday season is a time when there are expectations to be \u201ctogether\u201d,\u00a0 \u201cjoyous\u201d and to \u201ccelebrate.\u201d These descriptive words can greatly differ from the pain, despair, and loneliness that accompany grief and loss.\u00a0 Holiday commercials, social plans, work events, community events or our own memories of past experiences can be triggering and painful for anyone, let alone those who have been through recent, significant, or unresolved loss(es). Below are some examples of ways to cope ahead and manage grief during the holiday using <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/types\/cognitive-behavioral-therapy\">Cognitive Behavioral Therapy<\/a> (CBT),<a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/types\/dialectical-behavioral-therapy\"> Dialectical Behavioral Therapy<\/a> (DBT), and Mindfulness-based techniques. <\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;335557856&quot;:16777215,&quot;335559738&quot;:240,&quot;335559739&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Cope Ahead for the Holidays<\/span><\/b><\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\u25cf\" data-font=\"\" data-listid=\"5\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\u25cf&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Create a cope ahead plan that lists anticipated triggers and specific coping skills you can apply to each. This could include grief reminders, thinking patterns or expectations, family dynamics or comments from others. Keep this cope ahead plan on an accessible piece of paper so that you can reference it as needed.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\u25cf\" data-font=\"\" data-listid=\"5\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\u25cf&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"2\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Engage in increased emotional buffers leading up to and during the holiday season.\u00a0 Emotional buffers don\u2019t \u201cfix the problem\u201d however they can help to give us more emotional resilience when we are faced with increased stress or triggers.\u00a0 Examples can include various forms of self-care,\u00a0 setting boundaries, accessing support, engaging in hobbies or enjoyable activities, and focusing on healthy and balanced eating, exercise routine, or sleep schedule.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\u25cf\" data-font=\"\" data-listid=\"5\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\u25cf&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"3\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">If you have a trusted support system, communicate to them that you may have a hard time this holiday season and\/or maybe \u201doff.\u201d Tell them what you need or how they can support you. This can be validating and give a chance for increased support.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Allow Yourself Space to Grieve<\/span><\/b><\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\u25cf\" data-font=\"\" data-listid=\"3\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\u25cf&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Structured grief journaling includes going in and out of emotional pain so that you can feel more in control of your grief experience. This can include 20 minutes of grief journaling (with topics such as what you miss about the loss, your feelings of anger or sadness, or writing directly to what you lost) followed immediately by cognitive distraction (ABC game where you pick a topic and go A-Z, or anything that will distract your mind).\u00a0 <\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\u25cf\" data-font=\"\" data-listid=\"3\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\u25cf&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"2\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Mindfulness can be used to stay present with your emotions and help to \u201cride the wave\u201d of grief triggers. This can help avoid extremes of avoiding or rushing through emotions or feeling &#8220;pummeled&#8221; by them. Examples can be as simple as saying to yourself \u201cI notice a grief trigger,\u201d \u201cI notice I feel sad\u201d or \u201cI notice tension in my body.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\u25cf\" data-font=\"\" data-listid=\"3\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\u25cf&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"3\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Remember that painful emotions are okay, healthy, and a normal part of the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/grief\">grief experience.<\/a> Validate your feelings and use known coping skills to manage their intensity or duration so that they don\u2019t become too overwhelming.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Consider Making Meaning of the Loss<\/span><\/b><\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\u25cf\" data-font=\"\" data-listid=\"1\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\u25cf&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Making meaning can be any way you choose to honor or connect with what you lost. There is no right or wrong way to do this and this can be very personal and\/or spiritual. Examples may include adapting holiday traditions in some way, special physical items that you keep accessible (pictures, jewelry, clothing, etc),\u00a0 symbols of grief, or reflecting on what the loss has taught you in regard to values, priorities, or life lessons. <\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\u25cf\" data-font=\"\" data-listid=\"1\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\u25cf&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"2\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">This can come later in the grief process after the pain has been processed. You may not be ready for this by the time of the holiday season and that is okay.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Have Realistic Expectations and Be Gentle with Yourself During and After the Holidays: <\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\u25cf\" data-font=\"\" data-listid=\"4\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\u25cf&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Please remember: HOLIDAYS CAN BE HARD. GRIEF IS HARD. It is okay and expected to have a mix of feelings or responses.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\u25cf\" data-font=\"\" data-listid=\"4\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\u25cf&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"2\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Don\u2019t pressure yourself to be happy or sad and try to keep your expectations neutral and thoughts balanced. Examples can include \u201cI am struggling with the holidays this year, and that is okay\u201d or \u201cI don\u2019t know how I feel and that is okay.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\u25cf\" data-font=\"\" data-listid=\"2\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\u25cf&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Allow yourself time to rest, decompress, recharge, or take space as needed. This may be an extra day off work, having some alone time, allowing yourself space to do something special for you, or taking time to reflect, journal, or process your grief and experience over the holiday season.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The holiday season is a time when there are expectations to be ?together?,? ?joyous? and to ?celebrate.? These descriptive words can greatly differ from the pain, despair, and loneliness that accompany grief and loss.? Holiday commercials, social plans, work events, community events or our own memories of past experiences can be triggering and painful for [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3201,"featured_media":43623,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,542,2095,628,1863],"tags":[656,654,2103,2102,655],"class_list":["post-43621","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","category-featured-articles","category-find-therapist","category-general","category-grief-and-loss","tag-and-bereavement","tag-grief","tag-grief-during-the-holidays","tag-holiday-grief","tag-loss"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43621","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3201"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=43621"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43621\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/43623"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=43621"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=43621"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=43621"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}