{"id":42285,"date":"2023-05-17T12:13:32","date_gmt":"2023-05-17T16:13:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=42285"},"modified":"2026-02-13T18:17:54","modified_gmt":"2026-02-13T23:17:54","slug":"5-things-to-know-before-calling-someone-a-narcissist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/5-things-to-know-before-calling-someone-a-narcissist\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Things To Know Before Calling Someone a Narcissist"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">From: Michelle Ilyayev, <\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">LMHC<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Whether you\u2019re frustrated by a coworker, friend, or family member,\u202f<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.mayoclinic.org\/diseases-conditions\/narcissistic-personality-disorder\/symptoms-causes\/syc-20366662\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">narcissism<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202fis often thrown around as an explanation. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">But it can do more harm than good to an argument, friendship, or working relationship if you don&#8217;t know what <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/covert-narcissism-the-quiet-counterpart-to-narcissistic-personality-0822197\">narcissistic personality disorder<\/a> is and why it might not be the correct label. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Additionally, consistent overuse of the term trivializes the genuine pain a narcissist is experiencing deep down and detracts it from its authentic meaning.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Because of this, it\u2019s essential to clearly define what a narcissist is and the potential dangers of overusing the term.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-42100\" src=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/AdobeStock_238170329-scaled.jpeg\" alt=\"GoodTherapy | Narcissistic reaction\" width=\"2560\" height=\"1707\" title=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/AdobeStock_238170329-scaled.jpeg 2560w, https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/AdobeStock_238170329-300x200.jpeg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 2560px) 100vw, 2560px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><strong>A RELATED GOODTHERAPY ARTICLE:<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/codependency-narcissism-may-have-more-in-common-than-you-think-0807187\">Codependency and Narcissism<\/a><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">According to the\u202f<\/span><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.medscape.com\/answers\/1519417-101764\/what-are-the-dsm-5-diagnostic-criteria-for-narcissistic-personality-disorder-npd\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">DSM IV<\/span><\/a><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">, narcissism is characterized by:<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"1\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">A need to get attention and admiration from others<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"1\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Lack of empathy for others<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"1\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"2\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Often having troubled relationships<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"1\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"3\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Grandiose sense of self<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"1\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"4\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success and power<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"1\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"5\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">A sense of entitlement<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"1\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">A strong belief that others are envious of them<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"1\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"2\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Display of arrogant and egotistic behaviors or beliefs<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">You might think that you know some people who display some of these narcissistic traits, but that doesn\u2019t always make them a narcissist.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">5 things you need to know before calling someone a narcissist:<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Narcissism is a spectrum; it\u2019s not an all-or-none characteristic.\u202f<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Many narcissists are higher on the spectrum than most people. So much so, it tips them over into an illness.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Diagnosing people can be an effective way of helping someone and guiding them towards recovery.\u202f<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">When done with integrity and in an appropriate setting, it helps a clinician determine which type of treatment is best suited for a patient. It\u2019s also beneficial in communicating with other\u202f<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">medical professionals<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202fabout the course of treatment. However, it can also place people into boxes.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Labeling someone as a narcissist, while sometimes useful to explain their behavior, makes it harder to see the real danger.\u202f<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Many people want to be validated in their belief that their abusive partner is a narcissist and that hearing the label will provide a sense of security. But whether or not the abusive partner fits the criteria, it\u2019s important to note that\u202f<\/span><i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">narcissism is not the problem;<\/span><\/i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202fthe abuse is. Narcissism shouldn\u2019t excuse someone\u2019s harmful behaviors and actions.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder need to be diagnosed by mental health professionals<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">. A narcissistic personality disorder shouldn\u2019t be taken lightly. It can be extremely harmful to the people around them; just because someone is toxic and irresponsible does not make them a narcissist. Giving a diagnosis to someone without training to do so in a professional setting is both irresponsible and bound to cause harm.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">NPD is widely misunderstood, so educating yourself and others about what narcissism means is essential<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">. In other words, while it may be tempting to jump to labeling your ex or abusive parent as a narcissist, it may be worth considering that they may have an actual personality disorder and could benefit from treatment.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-41851\" src=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/GettyImages-1223343058-1.jpg\" alt=\"GoodTherapy | Narcissism\" width=\"2121\" height=\"1414\" title=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/GettyImages-1223343058-1.jpg 2121w, https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/GettyImages-1223343058-1-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/GettyImages-1223343058-1-800x533.jpg 800w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 2121px) 100vw, 2121px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><strong>A RELATED GOODTHERAPY ARTICLE:<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/how-person-with-narcissism-responds-to-perceived-offense-0309174\">How a Person with Narcissism Responds to a Perceived Offense<\/a><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">References<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/romance-redux\/201504\/why-we-need-stop-throwing-the-narcissist-label-around\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/romance-redux\/201504\/why-we-need-stop-throwing-the-narcissist-label-around<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.mayoclinic.org\/diseases-conditions\/narcissistic-personality-disorder\/symptoms-causes\/syc-20366662\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">https:\/\/www.mayoclinic.org\/diseases-conditions\/narcissistic-personality-disorder\/symptoms-causes\/syc-20366662<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>From: Michelle Ilyayev, LMHC? Whether you?re frustrated by a coworker, friend, or family member,?narcissism?is often thrown around as an explanation. But it can do more harm than good to an argument, friendship, or working relationship if you don&#8217;t know what narcissistic personality disorder is and why it might not be the correct label. Additionally, consistent [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3189,"featured_media":41932,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2095,1838],"tags":[2142,93],"class_list":["post-42285","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-find-therapist","category-self-concept","tag-dealing-with-narcissist","tag-narcissism"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42285","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3189"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=42285"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42285\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/41932"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=42285"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=42285"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=42285"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}