Whether you scroll and post regularly or just peek and comment on occasion, you have an online identity.\u202f <\/span><\/p>\n It can be challenging to manage our individual online presence properly, yet we are responsible for what we share and how we engage online. <\/span><\/p>\n Social media can be a great tool for keeping in touch with people and maintaining a sense of connectedness. However, it can also be especially harmful to our relationships<\/a>.\u202f<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n The human brain is wired to think negatively. This can quickly wreak havoc on our relationships. We expect to have problems, but we quickly question when things are undefined or going relatively well. <\/span><\/p>\n We seek answers, predictability, and pleasure to avoid pain. We yearn to be accepted, liked, and supported. <\/span><\/p>\n Social media provides us with our dopamine fix when we see or post what we like especially when it comes to relationships. <\/span><\/p>\n We tend to compare our relationships<\/a> to others and comparisons can be a social media relationship killer. <\/span><\/p>\n A survey conducted in the fall of 2019 by the Pew Research Center, found that 8 in 10 adults notice relationship oriented posts and women are 7% more likely than men to see them. <\/span><\/p>\n Age factors in as well. Women under 50 are more likely to notice and be affected by the relationship posts they see as compared to women over 50.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Megan 29, and Mike 30, were dating for over 2 years and were considering marriage.\u202f They lived together, had a dog and wanted kids.\u202f Megan wanted to get married right away and was concerned about her biological clock. <\/span><\/p>\n Mike was not ready to get married and wanted to \u2018get his affairs in order\u2019 before the big step.\u202f <\/span><\/p>\n Soon Megan started noticing posts of engagements, weddings and births on social media and began resenting Mike.\u202f She would compare her life to everyone else\u2019s and somehow she always came up short.\u202f <\/span><\/p>\n Many of us compare our lives to what appears to be a better one from what we can see on social media.\u202f Comparing is a potential relationship killer. <\/span><\/p>\n Everyone seems to have a happy life on social media.\u202f It looks like they have the perfect relationship, motivated kids, and a great job.\u202f Pa-leease! You can\u2019t go by a picture of them at the beach\u2026 on vacation\u2026\u202f 3 years and 25 pounds ago! <\/span><\/p>\n Keep in mind, people post what they want you to see.\u202f Some people are excellent at painting an enhanced picture of the high points of their relationship.\u202f The extravagant vacations, the romantic dinners, the custom ring, the lengthy heartfelt birthday\/anniversary dedications. But what\u2019s behind the curtain? <\/span><\/p>\n Perhaps a very different picture\u2026\u202f criticisms,\u202f insecurities, inconsistencies, the list goes on. <\/span><\/p>\n Do yourself and your relationship a favor, avoid comparing. If your friend\u2019s boyfriend\/girlfriend\/husband\/wife posts daily pictures of them together and yours doesn\u2019t it\u2019s okay.\u202f It doesn’t mean anything. Your relationship is not in trouble or any less special. Be mindful not to jump to conclusions. Talk about the role of social media in your current relationships.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Establishing the role of social media in the relationship is vital to maintaining harmony and balance. <\/span><\/p>\n Setting boundaries and outlining rules of engagement is necessary to build trust both on and offline. <\/span><\/p>\n Consider drawing a road map for your partner as to what your concerns, expectations, and needs are as an opportunity for them to get to know you on a deeper, more intimate level and vice-versa. Ultimately, it\u2019s growth.\u202f <\/span><\/p>\n It\u2019s important to communicate without pointing fingers and be open to compromise.\u202f <\/span><\/p>\n This technique was helpful to Tammy and her boyfriend Paul. Tammy was concerned when she noticed Paul liked a picture his ex posted of herself and her new dog. <\/span><\/p>\n This is a classic example of what I refer to as Indiscriminate contact. \u202fThis is the act of \u201cliking\u201d a post or communicating with someone your partner would likely consider off limits. <\/span><\/p>\n Tammy began to question the relationship and Paul\u2019s level of commitment. She wondered if he still had feelings for his ex. Paul insisted this was an innocent \u2018like\u201d and reassured Tammy she was the only one for him.\u202f <\/span><\/p>\n Over the next several weeks, Tammy began monitoring Paul\u2019s social media activity and his whereabouts. She also demanded he dissociate from all girls online and questioned him each day. <\/span><\/p>\n The suspicion and indiscriminate communication forged a wedge in their relationship and they fought regularly. In therapy they were able to explore the feelings that were triggered through some of their social media interactions (insecurity, low self-esteem, abandonment, commitment issues, trust) and they set clearly defined boundaries and rules of engagement.\u202f Both would make a conscious effort to avoid indiscriminate contacts, overthinking, constant monitoring, and jumping to conclusions.\u202f<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0If your partner claims he went to sleep but his social media post begs to differ, it\u2019s time to face the possibility that this is not the right relationship for you. <\/span><\/p>\n If you find yourself checking up on your significant other multiple times a day, you may want to tune in to what is driving this behavior.\u202f <\/span><\/p>\n Status checking, or the act of checking your partner\u2019s listed relationship status (single, single and looking, in a relationship, married etc.) can be a sign that it\u2019s time to have a conversation about your actual relationship status. <\/span><\/p>\n Approximately half of social media users reported checking up on their current or former partners at some point. About 3 in 10 have felt jealous or uncertain based on their partner\u2019s interactions on social media. <\/span><\/p>\n Some social media users have expressed concerns<\/a> over the lack of posts or pictures representing the relationship on their partner\u2019s social media page. For instance, it can be off putting when you realize that your partner of nine months maintains the \u201csingle and looking status\u201d on their social media profile, along with 47 pictures of friends, 16 pictures of\u202f food and only one picture with you buried under everything else because it was from last Christmas.\u202f<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Social media has been known to provide us with a larger social network and opportunities.\u202f <\/span><\/p>\n The constant opportunity for infidelity can be concerning for those in new or less secure relationships.\u202f <\/span><\/p>\n Infidelity is often linked to low relationship satisfaction, relationship ambivalence, and other ongoing problems in the relationship.\u202f <\/span><\/p>\n Fostering open lines of communication, understanding, and checking in with each other on a regular basis will lead to increased levels of satisfaction within the relationship and reduce the likelihood of infidelity both on and offline.<\/span> \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Social media can be a blessing or a curse when it comes to relationships. <\/span>The good news is we have a say in the matter. <\/span><\/p>\n It\u2019s important to have ongoing honest conversations with our partners about it. Establishing boundaries and rules of engagement is a crucial step to the growth of the relationship and successfully navigating the digital age we live in. <\/span><\/p>\n Comparisons are relationship poison and open lines of communication are the antidote.\u202f <\/span><\/p>\n Trust must be built in relationships and it can be especially challenging when it comes to social media since the rules are often unclear.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n If you believe social media could be impacting your relationships, seek out a therapist. The GoodTherapy<\/a> registry might be helpful to you. There are thousands of therapists<\/a> listed who would like to help you on your journey. Find the support you need today.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" By Kimberly Meere, LCSW Social media has influenced just about everything in our lives.? Business, politics, and even our relationships. Whether you scroll and post regularly or just peek and comment on occasion, you have an online identity.? It can be challenging to manage our individual online presence properly, yet we are responsible for what […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3189,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2134,2137],"tags":[2140,2138,2139],"class_list":["post-42269","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-communication","category-social-media","tag-social-media-and-jealousy","tag-social-media-boundaries","tag-social-media-negative-impact-on-relaitonships"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42269","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3189"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=42269"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42269\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=42269"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=42269"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=42269"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"GoodTherapy](\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/AdobeStock_591226621-scaled.jpeg\" "\\"\\"")
<\/p>\n\u00a0Social Media Comparisons Can Destroy Your Relationships<\/span><\/h2>\n
Can You Relate?\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n
![\"GoodTherapy](\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/AdobeStock_265284526-scaled.jpeg\" "\\"\\"")
<\/p>\n\u00a0Establish Social Media Boundaries in Relationships<\/span><\/h2>\n
\u00a0Is Social Media Showing Problems in Your Relationship?<\/span><\/h2>\n
![\"GoodTherapy](\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/AdobeStock_595345254-scaled.jpeg\" "\\"\\"")
<\/p>\nCan Social Media Spark Infidelity?\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n
\u00a0Decide How Much Social Media is Good For You<\/span><\/h2>\n