{"id":42187,"date":"2023-03-01T11:09:38","date_gmt":"2023-03-01T16:09:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=42187"},"modified":"2023-03-01T11:58:55","modified_gmt":"2023-03-01T16:58:55","slug":"right-therapist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/choosing-the-right-therapist","title":{"rendered":"3 Steps for Choosing the Right Therapist"},"content":{"rendered":"

Choosing the Right Therapist is Important.<\/h2>\n

By Dr. Denise Renye MED, MA, PSYD<\/a><\/p>\n

With so many therapists in the world, how do you know which one is right for you? <\/span><\/p>\n

After all, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll be sharing the deepest, most vulnerable parts of yourself with this person so it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s important they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re a good match. Not everyone has the privilege to be in a position to be able to choose whom they work with, but if you <\/span>are<\/span><\/i> able to pick your therapist<\/a>, here are some tips. <\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"GoodTherapy<\/p>\n

\u00c2\u00a01. Be Selective<\/span><\/h2>\n

When you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re in psychological or emotional pain, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s tempting to book a session with whatever therapist has the soonest availability, but that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a mistake. As I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve written about on my own blog, the therapeutic relationship <\/span>is a special one<\/span><\/a>. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s unique and not to be found anywhere in the typical social world. For some, a therapist is the first or perhaps only secure attachment figure in their life.\u00c2\u00a0<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A secure attachment figure is someone who provides a safe physical and emotional environment for interaction. They are people clients can count on, someone they can express their innermost thoughts to, a person that holds space for feelings and processing feelings without shame, blame, or judgment. The healing happens in the space between the hearts and minds and spirits of the patient and the therapist. The relationship is the healing container.\u00c2\u00a0<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Therapy is built upon a relationship<\/a> and the relationship is where and how healing happens. What that means is you can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t work with just anybody. Are you close friends with just anyone? Do you date just anyone? Probably not. Just as you recognize you mesh well with certain people and not others, the same applies to therapists. Pick someone you feel comfortable with, someone who sees and understands you. Otherwise, the relationship will stall your healing at best and could cause harm at worst.\u00c2\u00a0<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"GoodTherapy<\/p>\n

2. Have an Intention in Mind<\/h2>\n

Just as with many things in life, having an intention and focus helps you refine what you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re looking for. Your intention in therapy doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have to be specific, such as, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I want to get over the trauma that happened to me at 15.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d It could be that, but it also could be general, such as, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I want to feel less anxious<\/a>.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d If you enter the therapeutic process knowing what you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d like to focus on, that will make it easier for you to find someone who specializes in what you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re looking for.<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A note here, therapy often takes a circuitous route and while you may enter therapy for one thing, you might find there are other issues you were unaware of cropping up in your time together with the therapist. In other words, it may seem tangential to talk about your childhood if you feel anxious about making new friends, but the therapist has their reasons for helping you look within in a certain manner. And if you want to know those reasons, ask! You don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have to stay in the dark about what\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s happening in sessions.\u00c2\u00a0<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"GoodTherapy<\/p>\n

3. Ask Questions<\/h2>\n

The initial intake is the time for <\/span>you<\/span><\/i> to learn more about the <\/span>therapist<\/span><\/i> as much as it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the time for the therapist to learn about you. During the initial meeting, ask what their approach is, if and how they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve helped other people like you, and how much experience they have. Also ask more detailed and specific questions about how they work as a therapist. If you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know the term describing their approach, say so and ask them for more clarity.\u00c2\u00a0<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe you already know that you want someone who works in a trauma<\/a>-informed way, or it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s important that they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re accepting of your sexual orientation. Whatever it is, ask questions and learn more about the therapeutic approach and what sessions are like with that therapist.\u00c2\u00a0<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As you hear them share about their approach, how do you feel in your body? The body is a built-in barometer of your internal state. Typically, when a person is relaxed, they breathe deeply and slowly in their stomach. Typically, when a person is anxious or stressed, they breathe shallowly and rapidly in their chest. What\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s your body doing as you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re chatting with this therapist? Pay attention to those signals because they provide crucial information. This information may be the most crucial you receive when you are seeking out a therapeutic relationship.\u00c2\u00a0<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Some other signs to watch out for:<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n