{"id":41885,"date":"2022-02-14T07:13:59","date_gmt":"2022-02-14T12:13:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=41885"},"modified":"2022-02-09T15:33:19","modified_gmt":"2022-02-09T20:33:19","slug":"real-love-and-social-media","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/Real-Love-and-Social-Media","title":{"rendered":"Real Love and Social Media"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"GoodTherapy<\/h2>\n

Real Love and Social Media<\/span><\/h2>\n

Are you spending more time on your mobile device than the time you spend actually interacting with your partner or your spouse? Has your relationship taken a bad turn as you make choices between real love and social media?<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If so, you wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be alone<\/span><\/p>\n

According to a <\/span>recent report<\/span><\/a>, 71 percent of individuals say they spend more time on their phones than they spend with their love interests, with 52 percent of individuals spending three or four more hours on their phones than with their partners every day<\/span><\/p>\n

While smartphones and social media networks might not have had much of an impact on your life 10 years ago, chances are they do today. One study, for example, found that the average American clocks <\/span>5.4 hours of screen time<\/span><\/a> on their mobile devices <\/span>every single day<\/span><\/i>. Further, the top 10 percent of heaviest mobile device users touch their phones nearly 5,500 times throughout the day!<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In large part, this <\/span>addiction to technology<\/span><\/a> is actually by design; researchers have found that social media networks, for example, are purposely built to keep you glued to the screen<\/span><\/p>\n

Regardless, your significant other is unlikely to be too thrilled if they constantly see you staring at your screen when they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re trying to have a conversation. Unsurprisingly, research suggests that 43 percent of \u00e2\u20ac\u0153heavy tech users\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u201d those who spend between five and eight hours on their phones every day \u00e2\u20ac\u201d have experienced <\/strong><\/em><\/span>relationship troubles<\/a>, compared to 28 percent of those who are on their phones for less than an hour a day<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

If you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re spending too much time staring at your screens and your relationships are struggling because of it, the good news is all hope isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t lost.\u00c2\u00a0<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

By identifying the bad habits that are harming your relationship, swapping them out with good habits, and talking to a therapist if the problem persists, you can strengthen your relationships and find real love in our social media-driven world.\u00c2\u00a0<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Bad Habits with Social Media That Are Ruining Your Relationships<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

In order to cut out bad habits from your day-to-day, you first need to identify what they are. If you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re racking up too much screen time when you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re with your partner or spouse, here are some of the habits that are almost certainly driving that behavior.<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u02dcPhubbing\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

When you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re hanging out with your significant other and you suddenly decide to pick up your phone \u00e2\u20ac\u201d consciously or otherwise \u00e2\u20ac\u201d you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re guilty of behavior called \u00e2\u20ac\u0153<\/span>phubbing<\/span><\/a>,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d which is a portmanteau that combines <\/span>phone <\/span><\/i>and <\/span>snubbing<\/span><\/i>.<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Using your phone at the table<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

Whether you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re eating breakfast, lunch, or dinner, meals are the perfect time to catch up with your partner and ask them how their day has been or what plans they have on tap for it. If you pick up your phone during the meal, chances are your loved one won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be too thrilled. Plus, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re liable to get all sorts of grease and other junk on your device. Yuck!<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Spying on old lovers and love interests<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

Social media enables us to keep tabs on people from afar. In fact, a recent report found that 34 percent of individuals have <\/span>stalked an ex or current love interest<\/span><\/a> online. If you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re the type of person who\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s guilty of this behavior, your partner won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be too happy with you when they find out.<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Checking social media first thing in the morning and last thing at night<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

Are you the type of person who checks social media before you say <\/span>good morning <\/span><\/i>to your spouse \u00e2\u20ac\u201d and who checks it right before bed, too? If so, these habits can cause rifts in your relationship as your mind is elsewhere during the more intimate parts of the day<\/span><\/p>\n

Of course, this list is by no means exhaustive. But it should give you a good idea of some of the more pervasive smartphone-induced bad habits that pull couples apart.<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

What New Screen Time Habits Should You Introduce to Keep Relationships Alive?<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

If too much screen time is ruining your relationships, ditch the above bad habits and replace them with some of these more wholesome ones.<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Delete your apps<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

When too much screen time is getting in the way of your relationship, there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s an easy fix: delete the apps that are commandeering the bulk of your time. If you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have the apps on your phone in the first place, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re much less likely to spend time on social media when you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re with your partner.<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Be more empathetic<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

Put yourself in your partner\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s shoes: How would you feel if your significant other picked up their phone in the middle of a conversation and started ignoring you? Chances are you wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be too happy. By trying to see things from your spouse\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s perspective, it can become easier to ditch your phone when you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re together since you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to hurt their feelings.<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Put your phone in the other room<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

When you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re trying to have some quality alone time with your partner \u00e2\u20ac\u201d whether you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re trying to cook a meal, watch some Netflix, or do a puzzle together \u00e2\u20ac\u201d an easy way to make sure you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t fall into the spell of social media is to simply put your phone in another room. When your phone is out of your arms\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 reach, you can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t exactly pick it up mid-conversation.<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Get a real alarm clock<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

According to a recent report, 83 percent of Americans use their <\/span>phone as an alarm clock<\/span><\/a>. If that describes you, consider buying an old-school alarm clock and moving your phone away from where you sleep. By doing so, you will eliminate the ability to read your phone first thing in the morning and right before you go to sleep.<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Still Struggling with Screen Time? Talk to a Therapist<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

Depending on how bad your social media addiction is, ditching your bad habits and developing good ones might not be enough to help you break the cycle.\u00c2\u00a0<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If your situation is particularly difficult, you may want to talk to a therapist and try <\/span>marriage counseling<\/span><\/a> or couples counseling to overcome the social media-induced challenges you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re facing as a couple. The right therapist will be able to help you navigate your problems and figure out a solution that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s amicable to both you and your partner.<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Remember, social media is meant to be addicting. When your real relationships are suffering because of it, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s time to <\/span>find a therapist<\/span><\/a> who can help you prioritize important relationships over screen time.<\/span><\/h3>\n

The GoodTherapy registry might be helpful for you. We have thousands of therapists<\/a> listed with us who would love to walk with you on your journey. Find the support you need today!<\/h3>\n

Here\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s to breaking the cycle and build stronger, more resilient relationships because of it.<\/span><\/h3>\n

Recovery Treatment Centers (RTCs) provide addiction rehab. Use the GoodTherapy RTC Directory<\/a> to find options for you.
\n\u00c2\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Real Love and Social Media Are you spending more time on your mobile device than the time you spend actually interacting with your partner or your spouse? Has your relationship taken a bad turn as you make choices between real love and social media?\u00c2\u00a0 If so, you wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be alone According to a recent report, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3189,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_crdt_document":"","_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,1902,1909,1879,1762,1838],"tags":[2048,221,2046,169,1198,637,2047,2049],"class_list":["post-41885","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","category-addiction","category-anger","category-personal-growth","category-relationships","category-self-concept","tag-addiction-to-technology","tag-love","tag-phubbing","tag-relationships","tag-screen-time","tag-social-media","tag-social-media-addiction","tag-social-media-habits"],"acf":{"author_show":false,"author_name":"","author_role":"","author_avatar":null,"author_profile_url":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41885","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3189"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=41885"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41885\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=41885"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=41885"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=41885"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}