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by David Panahi, Licensed Professional Counselor<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n We are our worst critics. The things we say to ourselves are often far more damaging than what others say to us. I have battled negative self-talk for most of my life, and it affected my mood, energy level, and productivity. Most of us hope that life will be exciting and adventurous, but our inner critic<\/a> ruins anything good. <\/span><\/p>\n That self-criticism brings a “yes, but” mentality to whatever is happening in our lives at the moment. “Yes, it is great that you graduated school, but who is going to give you a job?” “Yeah, you lost ten pounds, but you’re going to gain it again in no time.” Negative self-talk<\/a> refuses to see the positive in what is happening, constantly focusing on doom and gloom. This does us no favors.<\/span><\/p>\n It’s easy to give in to self-criticism<\/a>. The following steps are ways that I recommend my clients in therapy who are dealing with negativity.<\/span><\/p>\n Dr. Phil McGraw has a saying: “You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.<\/a>” The first step to changing a bad habit is noticing ourselves engaging in the behavior. You might want to journal about it or take a mental note when it is happening.<\/span><\/p>\n When we are not aware, our past frustrations and wounds influence our present behavior. Beneath the negative self-talk lies the intention of avoiding <\/a><\/span>disappointment, hurt, and failure. We need to know why our brain associates the present experience with negativity in order to break the habit<\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy<\/a> (CBT), <\/span>reframing<\/span><\/em>\u00a0means understanding an experience, event, or idea from a\u00a0<\/span>different point of view<\/span><\/em>. If our brains automatically focus on the negative, we need reframing to see the positive side of what is happening.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Think again about my two examples above.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Reframing<\/a> our faulty perception empowers us to have a realistic view of what is happening. It also saves us from the emotional rollercoaster that we experience on a daily basis.<\/span><\/p>\n My encouragement to you for today is to pause and pay attention to what kind of things you say to yourself. Then use the three-step technique to reframe those negative thoughts<\/a> with positive ones.<\/span><\/p>\n3 Steps to Overcoming Negative Self-Talk<\/span><\/h1>\n
1. Acknowledge when you’re engaging in negative self-talk.<\/strong><\/h2>\n
2. Identify the intentions behind your negative self-talk.<\/h2>\n
3. Reframe your present experience.<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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Start at the Beginning<\/strong><\/h2>\n