{"id":39881,"date":"2019-03-14T06:00:33","date_gmt":"2019-03-14T13:00:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=39881"},"modified":"2019-03-14T11:21:36","modified_gmt":"2019-03-14T18:21:36","slug":"shock-and-testing-two-more-twists-on-the-road-to-grief-recovery","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/shock-testing-two-more-twists-on-road-to-grief-recovery-0314197","title":{"rendered":"Shock and Testing: Two More Twists on the Road to Grief Recovery?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Gnarled,In her seminal book, On Death and Dying<\/a>, psychiatrist Elisabeth K\u00fcbler-Ross<\/a> identified five distinct stages of grief. K\u00fcbler-Ross worked with dying people and designed her model to describe the distinct grief of dying.<\/p>\n

In On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss<\/a>, a book co-authored with David Kessler, K\u00fcbler-Ross expanded her model to include many other types of grief. A modified version of K\u00fcbler-Ross\u2019s model adds two new stages, shock and testing. This seven-stage model of grief is familiar to many people who have grieved a loss, yet little research supports the model.

This page contains at least one affiliate link for the Amazon Services\n\tLLC Associates Program, which means GoodTherapy.org receives financial compensation if you make a purchase using an Amazon link.<\/div><\/p>\n

The Seven Stages of Grief<\/h2>\n

According to K\u00fcbler-Ross, and later to her co-author David Kessler, there are five stages of grief<\/a>: denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance.<\/p>\n

Some grief experts suggest this model might leave out two additional stages. This is sometimes called the Extended K\u00fcbler-Ross Model. According to that seven-stage model, the stages of grief are as follows:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Shock<\/strong>: This\u00a0is a person\u2019s initial sense of paralysis and shock<\/a> following bad news.<\/li>\n
  2. Denial<\/strong>: Denial<\/a> is an attempt to avoid the pain of the loss. Sometimes people distract themselves with other pursuits.<\/li>\n
  3. Anger<\/strong>: Anger<\/a> is a reaction to the loss of control that often accompanies a loss. A person may experience overwhelming feelings of frustration or target their anger to a specific source, such as God, a doctor, or the person who shared the bad news.<\/li>\n
  4. Bargaining<\/strong>: Bargaining is an attempt to regain control. During this stage, a person tries to find a way to escape the pain. For example, a person dying of cancer might adopt a very healthy lifestyle, or a parent whose child is dying might spend lots of time praying.<\/li>\n
  5. Depression<\/strong>: When bargaining fails and a person realizes they cannot control the loss, they may enter a state of intense depression<\/a>.<\/li>\n
  6. Testing<\/strong>: During this stage, a person experiments with ways to better manage and cope with the loss.<\/li>\n
  7. Acceptance<\/strong>: During acceptance, a person integrates and understands the loss. This does not mean they are \u201cover\u201d it, but they are able to move forward. The degree to which a person is able to accept the loss and move forward depends on the specific loss, personal psychological factors, a supportive environment, and more.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    In his book Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief<\/a>, David Kessler argues that the quest for meaning might be the final stage of grief before acceptance.<\/p>\n

    While the original model was presented as sequential, most grief experts now argue that a person can go through the stages in any order. They may also repeat or revisit stages, especially during times of intense emotional distress. For example, a person grieving the loss of their father might become angry over his loss when he is not present at their wedding, even if they already experienced the anger stage years before.<\/p>\n

    While the original model was presented as sequential, most grief experts now argue that a person can go through the stages in any order. <\/span><\/p>\n

    Shock: The First Stage of Grief<\/h2>\n

    Grief often begins with bad news\u2014a stunning diagnosis, a phone call announcing a loved one\u2019s death, or an ultrasound that reveals a baby is not developing normally. This can feel like a massive blow, sending a person into a state of emotional shock. During this earliest stage of grief, a person may feel unable to process the meaning of the news.<\/p>\n

    Shock can last just a few moments or for many days. For some people, shock reappears as the grieving process unfolds. A person grieving the death of a relative may feel another wave of shock settle in at the funeral or burial, for instance.<\/p>\n

    Some hallmarks of shock include:<\/p>\n