{"id":39017,"date":"2018-07-19T06:00:48","date_gmt":"2018-07-19T13:00:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=39017"},"modified":"2018-07-19T07:19:51","modified_gmt":"2018-07-19T14:19:51","slug":"is-walking-on-eggshells-making-you-resentful","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/is-walking-on-eggshells-making-you-resentful-0719184","title":{"rendered":"Is Walking on Eggshells Making You Resentful?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Cracked\u201cI spent so many years walking on eggshells \u2026 never doing or saying the right thing. One day I decided I\u2019d had enough and stomped all over them. Those broken eggshells cut me deeply as I walked away \u2026 but this \u2026 was the most beautiful pain I had ever felt.\u201d<\/em> \u2014S. L. Heaton<\/p>\n

In my marriage counseling<\/a> practice, I find that many people in intimate relationships<\/a> walk on eggshells. Extremely cautious about their words and actions, they may be fearful of being \u201cwrong\u201d or upsetting their partners. Often, they are concerned they will be seen as incompetent, inadequate<\/a>, unattractive, or as having another negative trait that could cause them to feel unwanted of be rejected.<\/p>\n

When you receive the judgment, criticism, or anger<\/a> of another, the impact may be felt in two ways. The initial assault takes the form of words or actions; the second impact has a cumulative effect. It occurs when a memory of anger or disapproval is stored, emotionally and physically, in your mind. This second impact can cause far more damage in the long run, leading to a loss self-confidence<\/a> and identity<\/a>. It\u2019s similar to secondhand smoke\u2014you may not be aware of its effects until it reaches a certain level of accumulation.

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If you frequently find yourself the recipient of someone else\u2019s anger or feel you are walking on eggshells, the long-term effects can be just as detrimental. It\u2019s wise to limit such exposure and protect yourself from this residual anger as best you can.<\/p>\n

The Effects of Secondhand Anger<\/h2>\n

Unchecked anger can lead to resentment<\/a> and dramatically impact your well-being and self-worth. Resentment exceeds momentary episodes of anger that come and go and extends into the past. In advanced stages, it even bleeds into the future and keeps you stuck in a devalued state. You may constantly feel you’re being unappreciated, disrespected, and treated unfairly.<\/p>\n

When living with an angry or abusive<\/a> partner, it is not only the nervous reactions to shouting, name-calling, criticism, or other demeaning behavior that can cause emotional damage. Attempts to prevent and de-escalate those often painful episodes can also harm one’s emotional well-being. By constantly trying to keep the peace or maintain the impression of a pleasant connection, people often become tethered to a person who controls them through emotions and impulsive needs.<\/p>\n

Signs You Are Walking on Eggshells<\/h2>\n

The daily lives of many are defined by their partner\u2019s moods. This can be an exhausting and draining existence, but it is possible to change. The first step in this change is to identify whether you are in this situation.<\/p>\n

Here are few signs you are walking on eggshells. You might:<\/p>\n