{"id":38748,"date":"2018-06-18T06:00:18","date_gmt":"2018-06-18T13:00:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=38748"},"modified":"2018-06-15T10:28:10","modified_gmt":"2018-06-15T17:28:10","slug":"recognizing-and-addressing-anger-before-it-becomes-rage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/recognizing-addressing-anger-before-it-becomes-rage-0618184","title":{"rendered":"Recognizing and Addressing Anger Before It Becomes Rage"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"SurrealIn my years as a therapist, I\u2019ve worked with many people who have varying anger<\/a> issues. I\u2019ve seen the devastating results that unchecked anger can have on people’s lives. Anger that turns into a tornado of rage, seemingly in seconds, can manifest as physical<\/a> and emotional abuse<\/a>, road rage, murder, or suicide<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Anger can be healthy if it is processed in the moment with productive language meant to resolve conflict rather than to inflame it. When anger only addresses the current circumstances and can be released fairly quickly after being expressed, it can provide the energy to move forward from emotional injury.<\/p>\n

The Continuum of Anger<\/h2>\n

The continuum of anger moves from slight irritation to frustration, mild anger to anger, and extreme anger to rage. Some people can recognize, when in the earlier stages of this continuum, that they are becoming increasingly agitated. Once they notice this, they may be able to slow their anger down enough to address the fueling factors in a different way.

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But recognizing unhealthy anger before it leads to a destructive explosion can be a complex task, for many reasons. Anger tends to look like raw emotion on the surface. But closer examination reveals it to be a response, or set of responses, to a cluster of other emotions. These other emotions might include sadness<\/a>, fear<\/a>, or despair. For many, these emotions result from a collection of hurtful situations in their past\u2014betrayals, abuse, rejections<\/a>, and so on\u2014that may have been buried and unresolved.<\/p>\n

It is from within these tangled layers of unresolved emotions that rage is born. Rage is unleashed anger with no filter or control. It can often rob a person\u2019s mind of logic and reason in the moment. As a result, it can temporarily disable the concepts such as ethics and social boundaries<\/a> that might otherwise exist for that person.<\/p>\n

Anger tends to look like raw emotion on the surface. But closer examination reveals it to be a response, or set of responses, to a cluster of other emotions. These other emotions might include sadness, fear, or despair.<\/span><\/p>\n

Unmanaged, chaotic rage often circles around a painful life experience\u2014an event from the past or events, large or small, sequenced throughout a lifetime. This pain continues to manifest more of the same destruction for self and others through its mere existence. Over time, repeated rages and traumas<\/a> all bleed in together to create an emotional time bomb. This is often more than anyone can bear.<\/p>\n

If you struggle with anger, these therapeutic steps can help you reclaim and manage anger in healthy way.<\/p>\n

1. Unlock your feelings.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Beginning to unlock the feelings inside rage is one of the most effective ways of “de-clustering” it.\u00a0This is also probably the scariest and most difficult step, at least initially. These feelings have often been under lock and key for so long that they seem invisible, even suppressed. But they never quite go away.<\/p>\n

By pulling feelings that have been caged in fear out of the darkness and giving them a voice that isn\u2019t angry, you are honoring them. This is a very sensitive process. It is usually best accomplished with help from a therapist who can gently honor those feelings with you.<\/p>\n

2. Express<\/strong> feelings in words rather than in action.<\/strong><\/p>\n

As emotions begin to emerge, they become more distinct from one another. For example, you may be better able to distinguish disappointment from outrage. It\u2019s important to learn how to express those feelings more precisely without violence. Words spoken without a \u201cfeeling vocabulary,\u201d or words that accurately name the feelings, can be received as an assault. Verbal assault can be as deeply wounding as physical abuse and may become self-wounding as well.<\/p>\n

3. Use<\/strong> meditative tools.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The healing process takes time. In order to de-escalate anger in the moment, some meditative<\/a> or mindfulness<\/a> tools can be useful. I often offer a few simple exercises that, with practice, can slow matters down to a more manageable pace:<\/p>\n