{"id":38701,"date":"2018-07-04T06:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-07-04T13:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=38701"},"modified":"2018-06-28T10:50:37","modified_gmt":"2018-06-28T17:50:37","slug":"how-parents-can-foster-autonomy-and-encourage-child-development","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/how-parents-can-foster-autonomy-encourage-child-development-0704184","title":{"rendered":"How Parents Can Foster Autonomy and Encourage Child Development"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"ParentTo gather information about the parent-child relationship, I often ask parents,\u00a0\u201cIf you could wish for one thing for your child, what would that wish be?\u201d I might also ask,\u201cWhat do you want for your child as they transition into adulthood?\u201d<\/p>\n

Exploring a parent’s wishes for their child can help increase understanding of the parent-child relationship.\u00a0This is important whether you are working with parents in a school setting or in private work.<\/p>\n

Generally, the responses I hear do not vary all that much. Parents say they want their child to be \u201chappy\u201d and experience \u201csuccess.\u201d When I push parents to define what these things look like, things can get interesting. Through a parent’s definition of \u201chappiness\u201d and \u201csuccess,\u201d I often learn more about their family<\/a> values, approaches to parenting<\/a>, and the pressures a child may be experiencing.<\/p>\n

Parents often ask me if they answered \u201ccorrectly\u201d or how I would answer the same question. I share my own greatest goal for children: That, as they transition into adulthood, they possess the skills to be empathetic<\/a> and independent adults.

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Find a Child Counselor<\/a><\/h2>\n\t
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How can we help children become independent adults?\u00a0An essential step toward accomplishing this goal is educating parents about the self-determination theory and autonomy-supportive parenting.<\/p>\n

The Self-Determination Theory<\/h2>\n

The self-determination theory explains the three basic psychological needs people need to fulfill:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Autonomy, or the need to feel free to choose their own behavior<\/li>\n
  2. Competence, or the need to feel capable of effectively interacting with their environment<\/li>\n
  3. Relatedness, or the need to feel close to and meaningfully connected to others<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    It\u2019s important for these needs to be supported by a child’s environment in order for them to emotionally evolve and develop in a healthy way. A positive family environment can promote and support a child\u2019s basic psychological needs. On the other hand, a negative family environment can hamper healthy psychological development (Deci and Ryan, 2000).<\/p>\n

    Autonomy-Supportive Parenting<\/h2>\n

    How can we help children become independent adults?\u00a0An essential step toward accomplishing this goal is educating parents about the self-determination theory and autonomy-supportive parenting.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Parents can practice autonomy-supportive parenting by creating an environment that supports autonomy. Parents who support the development of autonomy are involved in their child\u2019s life but encourage independence and problem-solving skills. It’s important for parents to give children both age-appropriate autonomy and agency. By doing so, they help them develop at an appropriate level. This can have the effect of greater emotional well-being.<\/p>\n

    When children are autonomous, they are more likely to feel capable of making their own healthy choices. By supporting children in the development of autonomy and agency, parents also help children learn about family values, social norms<\/a>, and essential rules.<\/p>\n

    Parents can support the development of autonomy by:<\/p>\n