{"id":38451,"date":"2018-05-25T08:00:16","date_gmt":"2018-05-25T15:00:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=38451"},"modified":"2018-05-24T11:14:03","modified_gmt":"2018-05-24T18:14:03","slug":"does-your-inner-critic-fuel-anxiety-what-can-you-learn-instead","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/does-your-inner-critic-fuel-anxiety-what-can-you-learn-instead-0525185","title":{"rendered":"Does Your Inner Critic Fuel Anxiety? What Can You Learn Instead?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"RearWhen you make a mistake, how do you react? Are you overly critical? Do you always blame yourself, even for the smallest mistakes? That\u2019s your inner critic<\/a> talking.<\/p>\n

The inner critic is the part of us that wants to point out all of our faults. It expects perfection and won\u2019t accept anything less. It also assumes it knows how others think and feel about us. Listening to this inner critic can often make us feel really bad about ourselves.<\/p>\n

Why Do We Believe Our Inner Critic?<\/h2>\n

The Internal Family Systems (IFS)<\/a> model of therapy is based on the idea that we all have many different parts inside of us. The expression of these parts differs from person to person. In other words, we all have an inner critic, but for some of us that critical part is much louder and meaner. Our inner critic can make us feel anxious<\/a> or depressed<\/a> by telling us we aren\u2019t living up to others\u2019 expectations.<\/p>\n

Many people feel like their inner critic reminds them of the things they didn’t do. As a result, they might believe they\u2019d never get anything done without this critical voice.\u00a0

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But in reality, bullying<\/a> doesn\u2019t make us more productive. Quite the opposite, in fact: research shows bullying in the workplace lowers productivity and increases depressive symptoms. Research has also shown that self-criticism<\/a> tends to accompany social phobias<\/a> and depression. Self-criticism has also been shown to increase the severity of combat-related posttraumatic stress (PTSD)<\/a>, eating disorders, and body image issues.<\/p>\n

What Does Your Inner Critic Want You to Know?<\/h2>\n

So if our inner critic leaves us feeling bad about ourselves and increases the risk of some mental health concerns, can we learn anything<\/em> from listening to that part of us?<\/p>\n

Is it possible that it wants to protect us from harm? Does that critical part of us come from a place of good intent?<\/p>\n

Many people feel like their inner critic reminds them of the things they didn’t do. As a result, they might believe they\u2019d never get anything done without this critical voice.<\/span><\/p>\n

When we approach the inner critic from the IFS (parts) model, we can begin to understand that this critical part is actually working hard to protect us. It says all those mean things with the best intentions. It truly believes it is helping us.<\/p>\n

But if we were trying to help someone else, like a friend or family member, we wouldn’t be that hard on them, would we? We probably wouldn’t ever be that hard on anyone other than ourselves.<\/p>\n

So how do we get the inner critic to quiet down? To be less critical?<\/p>\n

How Can We Do Things Differently?<\/h2>\n

1. Tune in.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The first step we can take is to really tune into the inner critic. Try to draw a mental image (you can actually draw it, if that helps!) that part of you. How old does it feel? What does it look like? Does it sound familiar? Perhaps it sounds like a person from your past, a parent, or an ex-partner. Maybe it sounds like someone currently in your life.<\/p>\n

2. Get curious.<\/strong><\/p>\n

As you begin to have a clearer picture of that critical part, the next step is to start noticing how often it shows up. Does it chime in when you make mistakes or when it worries about being judged? Does it tell you to avoid new places and situations? How often is it present? Does it show up once in a while, or does it offer a constant stream of negativity<\/a>?<\/p>\n

3. Ask some questions.<\/strong><\/p>\n

You might notice that the critical part hangs around a lot, especially if you\u2019re feeling anxious or depressed. The next time you hear your inner critic, try asking some questions to find out more about it:<\/p>\n