{"id":38350,"date":"2018-05-22T07:00:09","date_gmt":"2018-05-22T14:00:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=38350"},"modified":"2018-05-22T07:11:33","modified_gmt":"2018-05-22T14:11:33","slug":"burp-cough-yawn-surprising-clues-to-your-hidden-emotions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/burp-cough-yawn-surprising-clues-to-hidden-emotions-0522185","title":{"rendered":"Burp, Cough, Yawn: Surprising Clues to Your Hidden Emotions"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"WomanWhile it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s stereotypical<\/a> to be asked about one\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s feelings in therapy<\/a>, a common counter to that question is, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d or, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not feeling anything right now.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

Part of my job, then, is often to alert people to the possibility they are having a feeling and they may be getting in its way.<\/p>\n

Perhaps the most important part of therapy is asking yourself<\/em> the feelings question<\/a> when you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re outside of the counseling room. As it turns out, there are some surprising signals that you may be having a feeling. Let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s look at a few possible tells.<\/p>\n

Beyond the Story<\/h2>\n

Feelings have less logic than thoughts. Many people who seek therapeutic support<\/a> have thought their way backward and forward about their issue, yet they may be missing the emotional aspect.<\/p>\n

[fat_widget_right]<\/p>\n

Stories are compelling. When a person in therapy is good storyteller, it can be enthralling. Of course, they are probably enthralling to others; they don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t need to pay me to be one more member of their audience. This leaves me with the somewhat challenging job of interjecting.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Okay, but what are you feeling?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I ask.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, there are physical signs of something being experienced internally.<\/p>\n

Physical Clues to Feelings<\/h2>\n

No, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t think there is a deeper emotional meaning in everything<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Sometimes a cough is just a cough. But occasionally, if I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m sensing someone is clouding their emotions<\/a> with some avoidant behavior, I take a chance and ask a strange (if not impertinent) question about what else is happening for them. (My hope is that the person coming to me for support will start doing this on their own, outside of therapy.)<\/p>\n

A few examples that might be worded more carefully in the moment:<\/p>\n

Sure, some people laugh. Some get angry. But once they sit with these questions, a good 75% of the time we discover something we weren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t talking about that we can now bring into the room.<\/span><\/p>\n