{"id":37833,"date":"2018-04-12T06:00:01","date_gmt":"2018-04-12T13:00:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=37833"},"modified":"2018-04-10T13:07:58","modified_gmt":"2018-04-10T20:07:58","slug":"10-things-you-should-know-before-starting-therapy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/10-things-you-should-know-before-starting-therapy-0412184","title":{"rendered":"10 Things You Should Know Before Starting Therapy"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"UnfocusedDear new client: Welcome to the wonderful world of therapy<\/a>! I know it can be hard to come in for your first appointment\u00e2\u20ac\u201dreally hard. You are here to meet me, a stranger who will hear about parts of your life that no one else hears about, and entrust I will do everything I can to help you. To make things easier, here are 10 crucial things I want you to know.<\/p>\n

1. Honesty is the best policy.<\/h2>\n

If you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re not honest<\/a> in the therapy space, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re missing out! This is a rare opportunity to be 100% honest without the prospect of being judged. You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re paying for therapy, so lying is counterproductive. Are you using drugs? Tell me. It helps me better understand and work with you on everything from coping skills to medication use and interactions, to social skills, to behaviors that may or may not be attributed to substance use<\/a>, to relationships<\/a>, to even finances<\/a>. Cutting<\/a>? Tell me.<\/p>\n

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2. Therapy is an investment in both the present and the future.<\/h2>\n

The skills you learn here, and the support and insight you receive, will not only help you with the situation you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re in, but will become part of the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153toolbox\u00e2\u20ac\u009d on your lifelong journey. You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll gain knowledge that improves your ability to cope with stress<\/a> and mood swings<\/a>, helps your understanding of why and how you do things, and facilitates communication between you and others in your life including loved ones, friends, and business connections.<\/p>\n

3. Keeping appointments and being on time is critical.<\/h2>\n

Part of therapy is consistency. If you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re late, we not only have less time together, we also have to think about the reasons you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re not arriving on time. Making therapy a priority is important. And yes, you may be charged a fee if you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t show up or you cancel late. The time you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve reserved is yours and yours alone. When you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t show up, two things happen: other people needing help who would love to have your time slot are not able to, and I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t get paid for my time. I rely on this in planning my family and work finances.<\/p>\n

4. If you have any concerns, tell me.<\/h2>\n

I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t fix or address what is wrong unless I know about it. I won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t get angry or offended or lose my cool. Therapy is all about the therapeutic relationship<\/a> between the therapist and the person in therapy. If you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re offended about something I said or how you feel treated or mistreated, give me a chance to help you understand or change things. Some things that may seem trivial, such as the fear of being overheard by others in the waiting area, can be addressed and\/or explored. If you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re worried because I seem angry, let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s talk about that. My thinking face can look like a grumpy face at times. Knowing your concerns and allowing me to address them is a way to work on empowerment.<\/p>\n

5. Nothing is off limits.<\/h2>\n

Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be embarrassed<\/a> to bring up things, even uncomfortable ones such as sexual experiences or feelings<\/a>, anger or rage<\/a>, dreams or fantasies<\/a>. Believe me, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve heard and dealt with nearly everything. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not easily embarrassed or fazed. You can also say something such as, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153There is something I really want to bring up, but I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m embarrassed.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll help you work through your feelings, and even if you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t talk about it right away, we can work toward creating a space where you feel okay sharing it.<\/p>\n

6. Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t worry about me.<\/h2>\n

I have support systems in place if I need help. I seek supervision from peers or others who have more expertise in a given area than I do. Therapists don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t operate in a vacuum, nor should they. I can handle your anger, sadness<\/a>, and grief<\/a>. I also know my limits. This is why some therapists refer people to other therapists for some issues. If, for example, I am uncomfortable working with someone who is struggling with a terminal illness<\/a> because it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s outside my expertise, I will help you find someone who can better assist you.<\/p>\n

In the case of therapy, if I were to have an outside relationship with you, I couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be a productive or helpful (or ethical) therapist. Unlike a friendship where both people support each other, my only focus when we meet is you. <\/span><\/p>\n

7. There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a good reason I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have a friendship with you.<\/h2>\n

It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the same reason I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be my friend\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s therapist. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s called a dual relationship<\/a>, which basically means being two things at once to someone. In the case of therapy, if I were to have an outside relationship with you, I couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be a productive or helpful (or ethical<\/a>) therapist. Unlike a friendship where both people support each other, my only focus when we meet is you. My years of training, supervision, and experience are all focused on helping you.<\/p>\n

8. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not perfect by any means.<\/h2>\n

I run late sometimes. I may miss an email or forget to return a phone call. This doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t happen often, but if it does, please let me know. In the case of running late, I will make up the time either at the current session or at a later time. If it bothers you, let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s talk about it. Again, nothing is off limits.<\/p>\n

9. What you say to me stays with me, with two exceptions.<\/h2>\n

The exceptions are if I feel you are going to kill yourself or hurt someone else, or if I suspect there is child<\/a> or elder abuse<\/a> or neglect. This doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mean if you say you wish you were dead I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll call the police. But if you mention a plan or I feel like you are on the edge of suicide<\/a>, I have to take action to ensure the safety of you and others.<\/p>\n

10. When you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re ready to leave therapy, that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s great!<\/h2>\n

It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s something you might be thinking of or I may bring up. Please don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t just stop coming in. Let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s talk about it. If you abruptly leave without letting me know, I am likely to be both confused and concerned for your well-being. The preferred method of ending therapy is to have at least one session where we talk about what we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve achieved and where to go from here. Closure is important for both of us. You are always welcome back\u00e2\u20ac\u201dbe it in a month, a year, or five years.<\/p>\n

Again, welcome to therapy. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m glad you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re here. Let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s start this journey<\/a> together.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Beginning therapy can bring feelings of both excitement and uncertainty. Before you get started, here are 10 crucial things one therapist wants you to know.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2491,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_crdt_document":"","_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[542,628],"tags":[99,49,1232,644],"class_list":["post-37833","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-featured-articles","category-general","tag-psychotherapy","tag-considering-psychotherapy","tag-starting-therapy","tag-therapeutic-relationship"],"acf":{"author_show":false,"author_name":"","author_role":"","author_avatar":null,"author_profile_url":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37833","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2491"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=37833"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37833\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=37833"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=37833"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=37833"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}