{"id":36327,"date":"2017-11-14T06:00:32","date_gmt":"2017-11-14T14:00:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=36327"},"modified":"2024-01-03T16:54:17","modified_gmt":"2024-01-03T21:54:17","slug":"narcissism-vs-aspergers-how-can-i-tell-the-difference","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/narcissism-vs-aspergers-how-can-i-tell-the-difference-1114174","title":{"rendered":"Narcissism or Asperger\u2019s? How to Tell the Difference"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"YoungAs a therapist working with people affected by someone else\u2019s personality<\/a> condition, I\u2019m often asked the question, \u201cHow do I know if my partner is a narcissist or if they have Asperger\u2019s?\u201d This is an interesting question. I did some research in order to give justice to this topic.<\/p>\n

For one thing, both are on a spectrum. Narcissism<\/a> is a personality condition that ranges from mild to severe. In the most severe instances, the person demonstrates sociopathic tendencies or antisocial personality.<\/p>\n

Autism\u00a0also resides on a spectrum. It is a neurologically caused developmental condition. Prior to 2012, people with mild symptoms, considered \u201chigh functioning,\u201d were identified as having Asperger\u2019s syndrome. With the publication of the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders<\/a> (DSM-5<\/em>), this label disappeared, replaced by autism spectrum<\/a>.<\/p>\n

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Since mirror neurons are part of the brain\u2019s social interaction system\u2014involved with social cues, imitation, empathy<\/a>, and the ability to decode intentions of others\u2014some scientists have found that people on the autism spectrum have a dysfunctional mirror neuron system (University of California, San Diego, 2005). It appears mirror neurons also play a role in personality condition-related issues.<\/p>\n

An emotionally neglectful childhood, involving parents who did not empathize, may result in narcissistic traits in adulthood. It has been suggested that this occurs because of under-utilized mirror neurons in childhood, which leads to dysfunctional mirror neurons in adulthood (Kellevision, 2015).<\/p>\n

Here is a table depicting some of the similarities and differences between the two conditions. Can you see your loved one\u2019s symptoms in either column? Could it be your loved one displays symptoms of both?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
High-Functioning Autism (Asperger\u2019s)<\/strong><\/td>\nNarcissism<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Does not understand social interaction<\/td>\nManipulative<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Does not do silent treatment<\/td>\nUses silent treatment as a weapon<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
You can say no<\/td>\nMay punish you if you say no<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Does not do guilt trips<\/td>\nUses guilt trips as a manipulative tool<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Does not sit on the \u201cpity pot\u201d<\/td>\nFeels sorry for themselves and envious<\/a> of others\u2019 successes<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Clueless about damage they cause even though they can be hurtful and selfish<\/a><\/td>\nHurts other people\u2019s feelings and doesn\u2019t care<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Lacks empathy, but is not malicious<\/td>\nLacks empathy, and may be malicious<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Lacks intuition<\/td>\nHas intuition and uses it to get narcissistic supply<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Not connected to their feelings<\/td>\nHyper-connected to their feelings<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Tends to be one-dimensional<\/td>\nTends to flip into different modes or personalities (Dr. Jekyll\/Mr. Hyde)<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Does not blame others<\/td>\nTends to blame others<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Wants a playbook (structure and predictability)<\/td>\nWants chaos and control<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Triggered by lack of familiarity<\/td>\nTriggered by ego threats<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
On a spectrum from low functioning to high functioning<\/td>\nOn a spectrum from \u201cnormal\u201d-range behavior to psychopathy<\/a>\/antisocial personality<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Not sensitive<\/td>\nInsensitive<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

 <\/p>\n

If Someone You Care About Is on the Autism Spectrum<\/h2>\n

If you are in a relationship with a person on the autism spectrum, it is helpful to know how to take care of yourself. Here are some tips:<\/p>\n