{"id":36175,"date":"2017-10-30T08:00:14","date_gmt":"2017-10-30T15:00:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=36175"},"modified":"2017-10-30T09:38:12","modified_gmt":"2017-10-30T16:38:12","slug":"how-to-recognize-and-reconnect-with-split-off-parts-of-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/how-to-recognize-reconnect-with-split-off-parts-of-yourself-1030175","title":{"rendered":"How to Recognize and Reconnect with Split-Off Parts of Yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-36179\" src=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/rear-view-girl-swing-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"Blurred view photo of back of young girl sitting on swing\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" title=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/rear-view-girl-swing-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/rear-view-girl-swing.jpg 724w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>Some of the most powerful work I have seen accomplished in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/modes\/individual-therapy\">therapy<\/a> involves a person reclaiming parts of themselves that they have disowned. Splitting off parts of ourselves, specifically parts of our younger selves, is a common issue that people seek to resolve in therapy, even if they are not fully conscious of it.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, many therapy theories and techniques use this concept as a way of addressing concerns. Below are a few ways of describing this concept.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/types\/internal-family-systems-therapy\">Internal Family Systems model<\/a>: <\/strong>Refers to this concept as <em>exiled parts<\/em> created out of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/ptsd\">traumatic<\/a> experiences. These are parts we are afraid to look at and expose (Schwartz, 2009). <div class=\"content-fatwidget align-right\">\n\t<h2><a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/find-therapist.html\" target=\"_blank\">Find a Therapist<\/a><\/h2>\n\t<form action=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/search-redirect.html\" method=\"get\">\n\n\t\t\t<input required name=\"search[zipcode]\" placeholder=\"Enter ZIP or City\" class=\"inline-input\" type=\"text\" \/>\n\n\n\t\t\t<input type=\"submit\" name=\"TOS agreement\" value=\" \" class=\"inline-btn\" title=\"Search\" onclick=\"ga('send', 'event', 'FAT Widget', 'Submit Search', 'Sidebar', {nonInteraction: true});\" \/>\n\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/advanced-search.html\" title=\"Advanced Search\" onclick=\"ga('send', 'event', 'FAT Widget', 'Advanced Search', 'Sidebar', {nonInteraction: true});\" >Advanced Search<\/a>\n\t<\/form>\n<\/div><\/li>\n<li><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/types\/object-relations\">Object relations therapy<\/a>: <\/strong>Refers to this as <em>s<\/em><em>plitting<\/em>, defined as the failure in a person&#8217;s thinking to bring together both positive and negative qualities of the self and others into a realistic whole (Hamilton, 1990).<\/li>\n<li><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/psychpedia\/12-step-program\">12-step program for addiction<\/a>: <\/strong>In alcoholism-afflicted\/dysfunctional families (2006), one of the main issues is considered to be the inner child that has been hidden because of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/shame\">shame<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/abuse\">abuse<\/a>, or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/fear\">fear<\/a>. To be free from <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/addictions-and-compulsions\">addictive<\/a> behaviors, reconnecting with the inner child is a necessary part of treatment.<\/li>\n<li><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/types\/eye-movement-desensitization-and-reprocessing\">EMDR therapy<\/a>: <\/strong>In this approach, Shapiro (2012) points out that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/psychpedia\/memory\">memories<\/a>, especially traumatic ones, are not integrated with the rest of the general memory networks. As a result, these memories can feel \u201cfrozen\u201d or \u201cstuck in time\u201d and no matter how much time passes, bringing them up again can be painful\u2014thus, often, we don\u2019t deal with traumatic memories. The eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) approach helps a person to take these memories and reprocess them into general and adaptive memory networks.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>So how do you know if there might be a split-off part of yourself? One way is by recognizing there might be denial about the past in the present. This can look like, as examples, refusing to admit or acknowledge childhood experiences; trivializing behavior or remarks that were hurtful; or attempting to explain away the behavior of others or offer excuses.<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"popout-quote-left\" style=\"font-weight: bold; width: 30%; float: left;\">The overall goal at the end of this work should be integration. Integration means being able to own all parts of yourself, whether \u201cgood\u201d or \u201cbad,\u201d and understand how they make you the person you are today.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>This also presents itself in how we describe ourselves when we were younger. For example, a statement such as, \u201cI don\u2019t know who that person was,\u201d or feelings of intense shame about the person you were in the past, can be a sign that you have cut off parts of yourself. Another strong indication of this is if you avoid people, places, or things that might bring up memories from the past.<\/p>\n<p>When you or your therapist has recognized you have cut off a part of yourself, there are many tools you can use to begin recognizing those cut-off parts and work toward healing. Below are some ways to begin identifying and connecting with parts of yourself:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Looking at photos of yourself from the past.<\/li>\n<li>Listening to music from that time period.<\/li>\n<li>Giving yourself affirmations such as, \u201cI will love all parts of myself unconditionally,\u201d \u201cI will protect myself to the best of my ability,\u201d or \u201cI will take time to integrate all parts of myself into my life experience.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The overall goal at the end of this work should be integration. Integration means being able to own all parts of yourself, whether \u201cgood\u201d or \u201cbad,\u201d and understand how they make you the person you are today.<\/p>\n<p>It is important to note that reclaiming split-off parts is difficult work that can take a long time. If you are thinking of attempting this work for yourself, consider <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/find-therapist.html\">enlisting the help of a licensed professional<\/a> or finding a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/modes\/group-therapy\">group therapy<\/a> setting that can help you through this process.<\/p>\n<p><strong>References:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization. (2006).<em> Alcoholic\/dysfunctional families. <\/em>Torrance, CA: Author.<\/li>\n<li>Hamilton, N.G. (1990). <em>Self and others: Object relations theory in practice. <\/em>New York, NY: Rowman &amp; Littlefield Publishers, Inc.<\/li>\n<li>Schwartz, R. (2009). <em>Instructor\u2019s manual for internal family systems therapy<\/em>. Retrieved from http:\/\/www.psychotherapy.net\/data\/uploads\/5113ce91c0a4d.pdf<\/li>\n<li>Shapiro, F. (2012). <em>Getting past your past: Take control of your life with self-help techniques from EMDR therapy.<\/em> New York, NY: Rodale Books.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When we disown memories or aspects of our past, these parts of us become \u201csplit off.\u201d Several therapeutic approaches can help us reclaim these parts.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3070,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[542,623],"tags":[226,968],"class_list":["post-36175","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-featured-articles","category-issues-treated","tag-posttraumatic-stress","tag-split-off-parts"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36175","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3070"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36175"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36175\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36175"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36175"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36175"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}