{"id":35376,"date":"2017-08-07T08:00:54","date_gmt":"2017-08-07T15:00:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=35376"},"modified":"2018-03-05T10:15:05","modified_gmt":"2018-03-05T18:15:05","slug":"why-self-regulation-is-the-most-important-thing-in-the-world","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/why-self-regulation-is-most-important-thing-in-world-0807175","title":{"rendered":"Why Self-Regulation Is the Most Important Thing in the World"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"LeafyAs a therapist who specializes in treating complex posttraumatic stress<\/a>, I am often asked whether my practice is \u201cdepressing,\u201d or whether it brings me down. It\u2019s an obvious question: Along with the victories and the moments of fulfilling interpersonal connection, I am in vicarious contact with intensely difficult situations and stories. Also, practicing somatic psychotherapy<\/a> develops one\u2019s sense of empathy: the ability to sense what another person is feeling and to also feel it. So I often literally feel, in my own body, the sensations and emotions of the distress experienced by the people I work with in therapy. This is a good thing, as it is a fairly reliable indicator of what a person in therapy may be experiencing. Fortunately, my training affords me the capacity to feel others\u2019 distress without getting stuck in it.<\/p>\n

But no, my practice does not bring me down. I am deeply grateful for my training and my entry into this field. I can\u2019t imagine doing anything else, because I believe increasing humans\u2019 capacity for self-regulation is the most important thing in the world<\/em>.<\/p>\n

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That\u2019s a big statement. I don\u2019t make it lightly.<\/p>\n

You might be wondering: why self-regulation, of all things? After all, most people don\u2019t even think about self-regulation or how it relates to our individual or collective lives. The topic doesn\u2019t even cross most people\u2019s minds.<\/p>\n

As I noted in a previous article<\/a>, \u201cThe term self-regulation <\/em>means \u2018control [of oneself] by oneself.\u2019 It refers to a system taking the needed steps to keep itself in balance.\u201d Specifically, somatic therapy helps people learn to self-regulate the balance of the fight\/flight response<\/a> in their nervous system. This balance can (and should) change moment by moment, depending on the current situation and environmental demands upon the person. In other words, it\u2019s a dynamic balance\u2014and it has to be accurate or there will be problems!<\/p>\n

According to Stephen Porges, we have four basic states (like \u201cgears\u201d) in our autonomic nervous systems<\/a>. Our thoughts and behaviors at any moment are hugely influenced by the relative proportions of each. These are physiological states in the autonomic nervous system. They are:<\/p>\n

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  1. Social engagement<\/strong>. This state is controlled by the ventral vagal<\/em> (10th\u00a0cranial) nerve. In social engagement, a person remains calm. They are truly available to be present with others. They can experience empathy<\/a>. They are able to hold good boundaries, cooperate with others, and maintain a sense of humor. The key concepts here are calm, flexibility, and empathy. This state is vitally important; it forms the foundation of good self-regulation and, generally speaking, should be the most predominant \u201cgear\u201d in daily life. However, it\u2019s often overlooked, as the public doesn\u2019t tend to have much education about it.<\/li>\n
  2. Fight.<\/strong> Usually experienced as anger<\/a>, irritability<\/a>, or rage, this state is controlled by the sympathetic nervous system<\/a> (SNS). It comes online when the person\u2019s midbrain structures perceive a threat. The more predominantly the person is in a fight response, the more the prefrontal cortex<\/a> goes offline and the less the person is able to experience calm or empathy.<\/li>\n
  3. Flight<\/strong> is usually experienced as fear<\/a>, anxiety<\/a>, or restlessness. Also controlled by the SNS, the flight state includes the same loss of cortical function as with fight.<\/li>\n
  4. And then there is freeze<\/strong>, which is usually experienced as passivity, low energy, amotivation, dullness, foggy-headedness, and reduced capacity for cognition and emotion<\/a> (other than fear). This state is also mediated by the vagus nerve\u2014but an older, more primitive portion of it, the dorsal vagal system<\/em>. Basically, freeze is a death preparation state, and it shows up when the body \u201cthinks\u201d social engagement, fight, and flight would be ineffective.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    As Peter Levine<\/a> writes, previous traumatically stressful events that have not been fully resolved in the nervous system will disrupt a person\u2019s self-regulation, biasing their response to present-day events. Specifically, unresolved trauma causes the person to respond with excessive fight, flight, and\/or freeze response relative to the current situation.<\/p>\n

    Self-regulation supports cooperation and healthy group norms. I wish we could wipe out 25% of our fast-food restaurants and liquor stores, replacing each of them with a free somatic therapy clinic.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Here is a thought exercise to illustrate the vital importance of self-regulation and how it impacts just about every situation across our human lives\u2014on small and large scales. Imagine each of the following common scenarios. Then, imagine how each scenario could be different if at least one person involved was able to maintain calm social engagement.<\/p>\n