{"id":35146,"date":"2017-07-04T06:00:23","date_gmt":"2017-07-04T13:00:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=35146"},"modified":"2017-06-29T11:48:45","modified_gmt":"2017-06-29T18:48:45","slug":"feeling-like-you-dont-measure-up-7-tips-to-increase-self-esteem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/feeling-like-you-dont-measure-up-7-tips-to-increase-self-esteem-0704174","title":{"rendered":"Feeling Like You Don&#8217;t Measure Up? 7 Tips to Increase Self-Esteem"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-35156\" src=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/confident-person-bike-300x205.jpg\" alt=\"Young adult with curly hair stands in front of bike facing camera with smile\" width=\"300\" height=\"205\" title=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/confident-person-bike-300x205.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/confident-person-bike.jpg 714w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/self-esteem\">Low self-esteem<\/a> has become an epidemic in our society. Feelings of unworthiness and an impaired self-image can occur starting at a young age and may lead to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\">mental health issues<\/a>, including <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/depression\">depression<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/anxiety\">anxiety<\/a>. People who lack confidence in their abilities may negatively compare themselves to others and may refrain from trying new things out of fear of failure.<\/p>\n<p>Because of unrealistic media portrayals of what a healthy body looks like, young girls and women can be especially vulnerable to developing low self-esteem and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/body-image\">body image issues<\/a>. When girls are conditioned to believe skinny bodies are desirable and should be the norm, they may feel <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/inadequacy\">inadequate<\/a> by comparison. According to a survey conducted in 2016, 69% of women and 65% of girls feel pressured to attain an unrealistic standard of \u201cbeauty.\u201d The negative impact on their overall view of themselves can lead to decreased <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/psychpedia\/self-confidence\">self-confidence<\/a> and feelings of unworthiness, as well as \u201cyo-yo dieting\u201d and\/or eating disorders.<\/p>\n<div class=\"content-fatwidget align-right\">\n\t<h2><a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/find-therapist.html\" target=\"_blank\">Find a Therapist<\/a><\/h2>\n\t<form action=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/search-redirect.html\" method=\"get\">\n\n\t\t\t<input required name=\"search[zipcode]\" placeholder=\"Enter ZIP or City\" class=\"inline-input\" type=\"text\" \/>\n\n\n\t\t\t<input type=\"submit\" name=\"TOS agreement\" value=\" \" class=\"inline-btn\" title=\"Search\" onclick=\"ga('send', 'event', 'FAT Widget', 'Submit Search', 'Sidebar', {nonInteraction: true});\" \/>\n\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/advanced-search.html\" title=\"Advanced Search\" onclick=\"ga('send', 'event', 'FAT Widget', 'Advanced Search', 'Sidebar', {nonInteraction: true});\" >Advanced Search<\/a>\n\t<\/form>\n<\/div>\n<p>Social media can also contribute to an impaired view of self-worth, as many people tend to compare their lives with others and may feel they come up lacking. Seeing only happy moments and pictures posted online can create a discrepancy in what people would like to see in their own lives and the reality of what is happening. Understanding that social media portray an unrealistic and limited view of people\u2019s experiences is important to keep in mind.<\/p>\n<p>Because low self-esteem can be so harmful, finding ways to feel better about ourselves and our abilities is vital to our well-being. The following are some methods that can be used to help increase self-esteem:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Don\u2019t beat yourself up.<\/strong> A common issue for people with low self-esteem is negative self-talk. If you have a tendency to beat yourself up, try to replace the negative inner dialogue with positive statements about yourself. Look for your strengths and focus on these, rather than on your weaknesses. When you catch yourself berating yourself, replace the negative self-talk with positive affirmations about yourself.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Don\u2019t compare yourself to other people. <\/strong>We are all special and unique, with different gifts to offer. Trying to become like others or to measure up to others\u2019 standards can be exhausting and make us feel inadequate. Concentrate instead on being the best version of yourself that you can be and on improving on the innate skills you already possess.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Avoid perfectionism.<\/strong> We are all human and therefore imperfect. Striving for an idealized version of yourself can be detrimental, as you will never be able to achieve <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/perfectionism\">perfection<\/a>. While having attainable goals to work toward is important, don\u2019t feel as if you have to do everything perfectly. Failure can actually be beneficial at times, as we may learn valuable lessons that can help us with future endeavors.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Develop a healthier relationship with your body.<\/strong> If you tend to struggle with body image issues, work toward developing a better outlook by focusing on health rather than on weight. Choose healthy eating options whenever possible without going overboard. In addition, find an activity you enjoy that you can commit to on a regular basis. This could be going for a daily walk after work, taking a kickboxing or yoga class, or working out at the gym.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Limit your use of social media.<\/strong> Try to avoid spending too much time on social media, as this can lead to unrealistic expectations regarding relationships and lifestyles. Remember that most people only post pictures that make their lives appear happy and fun, but that this is not an accurate representation of their experience as a whole. Spending too much time looking at what others are doing also means we are spending less time enjoying our own lives.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Set attainable goals.<\/strong> Determining what to focus on in our lives is important, so take some time to set some goals for yourself and break these down into small steps that can gradually help you accomplish them. Feeling we are making progress toward our dreams can help to boost our confidence levels and make us feel good about ourselves.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Meet with a counselor.<\/strong> If self-esteem issues have become a serious problem in your life and\/or have led to depression, anxiety, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/drug-and-substance-abuse\">substance abuse<\/a>, or an <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/eating-disorders\">eating disorder<\/a>, you may want to consider meeting with a therapist in order to work on healing any inner wounds and improving your self-image.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Although low self-esteem has become commonplace in our society, there are ways we can work on developing a healthier sense of self. Try some or all of the ideas listed above to increase your self-confidence and start to feel better about yourself. If you want support, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/find-therapist.html\">contact a licensed therapist<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Reference: <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>New Dove research finds beauty pressures up, and women and girls calling for change. (2016, June 21). Retrieved from http:\/\/www.prnewswire.com\/news-releases\/new-dove-research-finds-beauty-pressures-up-and-women-and-girls-calling-for-change-583743391.html<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In a society where unrealistic images and ideals are rampant, it\u2019s no wonder so many people struggle with self-confidence and body image. These ideas can help.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2727,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[542,623],"tags":[237,805,409,115,640],"class_list":["post-35146","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-featured-articles","category-issues-treated","tag-body-image","tag-confidence","tag-inadequacy","tag-self-esteem","tag-self-worth"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35146","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2727"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35146"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35146\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35146"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35146"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35146"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}