{"id":34606,"date":"2017-04-26T08:00:41","date_gmt":"2017-04-26T15:00:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=34606"},"modified":"2017-05-03T09:48:39","modified_gmt":"2017-05-03T16:48:39","slug":"breaking-the-chains-finding-relief-from-a-harsh-superego","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/breaking-the-chains-finding-relief-from-harsh-superego-0426175","title":{"rendered":"Breaking the Chains: Finding Relief from a Harsh Superego"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Person<\/u>Have you ever thought, \u201cI\u2019m my own worst enemy\u201d?<\/p>\n

Do you ever feel plagued by a relentlessly critical internal voice? Perhaps you feel stuck and find it difficult to think creatively about how to overcome challenges in your life. Even if you have a plan to address challenges, you might still find it difficult to take action.<\/p>\n

If you find yourself experiencing these or other negative thoughts and feelings frequently, you may be dealing with a harsh superego<\/a>.\u00a0This internal “enemy” is the voice in our heads\u00a0that reminds us of our failings and shortcomings. It reprimands us when we think\u00a0or act independently of its proscribed behavior, and it can censor us in very sneaky ways.<\/p>\n

At times, it may be almost like living under the shadow of an intimidating, abusive<\/a> parent.<\/p>\n

The Birth of a Harsh Superego<\/h2>\n

The superego is the part of a person’s mind that acts as a self-critical conscience. There are differing opinions on exactly how a superego is formed. Sigmund Freud<\/a> believed the superego formed during the emotional tumult that takes place in the toddler years, during which time a child internalizes\u00a0the voices of their parents.<\/p>\n

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Melanie Klein<\/a> discovered, through her observation of young children, that the superego forms not from the internalization of parental voices but in infancy, as a byproduct of an infant\u2019s attempt to protect the self from aggressive and destructive thoughts and feelings.<\/p>\n

Regardless of how and when the superego is formed, it seems universally understood that a child\u2019s early environment has a significant impact on the nature of the superego. While supportive, present, and receptive parents are more likely to effect the formation of a mildly critical or supportive superego, a harsh superego is, more likely than not, at least partially the product of critical, harsh, or emotionally or physically absent parents.<\/p>\n

The Fallout<\/h2>\n

Like an envious<\/a> child who would rather destroy something that isn’t theirs, simply because they cannot have it, a harsh superego can make it feel like there is an internal someone or something that is intent on destruction.<\/p>\n

Shifting from a harsh to a supportive superego takes hard work, but it is possible.<\/span><\/p>\n

Those who experience this\u00a0harshness, these internal cuts, might often feel stuck in life. They may feel isolated<\/a>, experience depression<\/a>, self-harm<\/a>, or fantasize about hurting themselves or others.\u00a0A harsh superego can lead people to push others away and can also cause a person to feel stagnant at work or in a relationship<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Some individuals who cope with a harsh superego may also be more likely to turn toward drugs, alcohol, or other substances<\/a> or use violent outbursts or sex to escape the persecutory voice within.<\/p>\n

Breaking the Chains<\/h2>\n

Shifting from a harsh to a supportive superego takes hard work, but it is possible.<\/p>\n

This work may be particularly difficult to do alone, especially because the harsh superego is adept at getting to us in\u00a0any number of unconscious ways.\u00a0Any kind of permanent change requires awareness and work conducted within a positive therapeutic relationship.<\/p>\n

Awareness Practice at Home<\/strong><\/p>\n

The central vehicle for change is awareness. The more you are aware of the harsh superego, the more empowered you are to change it.\u00a0There are practices you can employ at home that are often helpful.<\/p>\n

I suggest a daily meditation<\/a> practice of 5-10 minutes. Focus on the breath and observe all manifestations of the harsh superego as they arise.<\/p>\n