{"id":34503,"date":"2017-04-17T08:00:01","date_gmt":"2017-04-17T15:00:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=34503"},"modified":"2017-04-13T11:48:47","modified_gmt":"2017-04-13T18:48:47","slug":"when-your-therapist-is-away-their-break-your-breakthrough","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/when-your-therapist-is-away-their-break-your-breakthrough-0417175","title":{"rendered":"When Your Therapist Is Away: Their Break, Your Breakthrough"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"ShotTherapists go on vacation. Therapists need time off for health reasons. Therapists have emergencies.<\/p>\n

But what does it mean for you when your therapist needs a break?<\/p>\n

It can be difficult to wait an extra week between appointments, let alone two or three. It\u2019s a reminder your therapist has a life outside of the office. Often, we like to think of our therapist as ours and ours alone. Are you connected with the feelings that arise when your therapist tells you they\u2019re going to be away?<\/p>\n

Many people tell me they are \u201cfine\u201d with me not being around for a session or two. Depending on the person, I sometimes ask a few more questions about that. Not for personal reasons\u2014I\u2019m not trying to get a person in therapy to make me feel important and needed\u2014but to help them bridge that feeling to other relationships<\/a> in their lives.<\/p>\n

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While you may know intellectually<\/em> your therapist takes time off, just like you (hopefully!) do, that doesn\u2019t mean you won\u2019t feel a whole swath of feelings when it happens. Some common ones are abandonment<\/a>, sadness<\/a>, and anger<\/a>, but also happiness<\/a> and even relief!<\/p>\n

Whatever you feel upon hearing your therapist will be away, it may be helpful to dig deep to see if there is a small spark of feeling that may be familiar. Once you connect to the part of you that is angry (even just a little), for example, you may be able to bridge that to another time in your life when someone left. This is a great opportunity: You get to use the therapy session to let the therapist know how you felt back then. You get to see you can say, \u201cI\u2019m angry you\u2019re leaving\u201d and know the therapist can take it. You can have what we call a \u201ccorrective emotional experience.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m angry you\u2019re leaving. If you really cared about my well-being, you\u2019d make yourself available.\u201d That might sound confrontational, but it\u2019s actually progress.<\/span><\/p>\n

You can even go a step further: \u201cI\u2019m angry you\u2019re leaving. If you really cared about my well-being, you\u2019d make yourself available.\u201d That might sound confrontational, but it\u2019s actually progress. It\u2019s being vulnerable<\/a> with your therapist, which is both really, really difficult and incredibly important.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re not going to change your therapist\u2019s plans, but you\u2019re going to know what it\u2019s like to say how you\u2019re feeling. It opens the door to an exploration of hurts you\u2019ve experienced in the past\u2014but had nowhere to go with.<\/p>\n

Boundaries and Safety<\/h2>\n

If the prospect of your therapist going away causes anxiety or worry, talk to them about what you can do in their absence. Some good questions are:<\/p>\n