{"id":32681,"date":"2016-09-16T08:00:48","date_gmt":"2016-09-16T15:00:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=32681"},"modified":"2016-08-19T11:59:17","modified_gmt":"2016-08-19T18:59:17","slug":"why-are-my-dreams-so-stressful","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/dear-gt\/why-are-my-dreams-so-stressful","title":{"rendered":"Why Are My Dreams So Stressful?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear\u00a0GoodTherapy.org,<\/span><\/p>\n

Sleep<\/a> is supposed to be restful, right? For a few years now, my nights have been anything but. I wake up exhausted because my\u00a0dreams are more tiring than being awake. They typically involve a chase of some sort, sometimes by car or boat, but usually on\u00a0foot. It always feels like I’m trying to move in mud, or like there are invisible arms holding me back when I try to run, and I can\u00a0never get anywhere as fast as I think I can. When I try to shout in a dream, my voice comes out muffled and restrained. Very often,\u00a0water is a prominent feature in my dreams\u2014enormous pools, open seas, or floods.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Find a Therapist<\/a><\/h2>\n\t
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These dreams<\/a> are becoming more and more\u00a0violent, too. Though I almost never die in my dreams, the situation occasionally comes close. I find myself encountering and using\u00a0weapons I’ve never even touched in real life, let alone used against someone. But my dreams present scenarios in which I must\u00a0fight for my life, sometimes to the death.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I am not a violent person, and the thought of killing someone, even in my dreams, horrifies me. I do feel stressed<\/a> quite a bit in life,\u00a0and I imagine that’s a big factor in my dreams. But it’s not like I’m encountering life-or-death scenarios or anything. My life is not\u00a0filled with violence<\/a>. I have never been to war. I do not play, and never have played, violent video games. Sometimes I watch scary\u00a0movies or TV shows, but even those don’t fill me with the kind of terror I experience in my dreams.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I’m growing weary of the trauma of dodging bullets in my dream life. I’ll take any hint or suggestion for how to calm my dream\u00a0state, whether it’s to eat more leafy green vegetables or stop wearing socks.\u00a0\u2014Wildest Dreams<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Submit Your Own Question to a Therapist<\/a><\/p>\n

Dear Wildest Dreams,<\/span><\/p>\n

First of all, thank you for reaching out. I have much compassion<\/a> for people experiencing nightmares, especially because our brains\u00a0and bodies physiologically react as if the experience is happening in waking life. Losing sleep also affects memory, everyday\u00a0responses, and overall health. The good news is nightmares<\/a> are normal part of human development and are often exaggerated so we may remember them. Dream pioneer Jeremy Taylor writes, \u201cAll dreams speak a universal language and come in the service of health and wholeness. There is no such thing as a ‘bad dream’\u2014only dreams that sometimes take a dramatically negative form in order to grab our attention.\u201d In other words, nightmares are a healthy way for us to work through whatever life-changing event or deep internal changes we are going through so we can tend to their messages. Once we face our fears<\/a>, become engaged with the emotions, and tend to the dream material, we can \u201ctransform the energy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Take comfort in knowing that when we remember a dream, it means we can do something about it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Here are some thoughts on the particular themes in your dreams that might shed some light on what may be going on in your\u00a0waking life. It is important to note that although humans share a \u201ccollective memory,\u201d we are also individuals. To truly engage\u00a0fully with a dream, one must be mindful of these nuances, including personal associations, experiences, and emotional content.<\/span><\/p>\n

Take comfort in knowing that when we remember a dream, it means we can do something about it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Chased or Attacked by Someone or Something<\/span><\/h2>\n

The \u201cchase\u201d dream is a common one, especially with women who feel particularly vulnerable in waking life. Often the dreamer is\u00a0being chased by an ominous being (or beings), which could be anything from \u201cthe dark figure\u201d with no recognizable features to\u00a0monstrous entities such as dinosaurs or zombies. It is important to note who or what is doing the chasing, paying close attentions to\u00a0the characteristics. Who are you killing? What types of weapons are you using? If it is a vampire, are you dealing with lifeless\u00a0bloodsucking energy in your life? Perhaps there are parts or patterns that need \u201ckilling off\u201d in terms of character\u00a0traits\/people\/situations\/habits in your life that are no longer working for you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Feeling of Paralysis or Heaviness<\/span><\/h2>\n

These types of dreams are common because there is an actual physiological paralysis that occurs naturally during the REM (rapid\u00a0eye movement) stage in sleep so the dreamer does not physically act out dreams (and hurt somebody!). Sometimes this state might\u00a0seep into dreams as the condition of not being able to walk, run, or move, especially when in danger. It could also be a symbol of\u00a0feeling helpless or stuck in a situation in waking life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Water in Dreams<\/span><\/h2>\n

The big wave, pool, or flood in a dream is pretty common, and it often indicates either some emotional overwhelm<\/a> in the\u00a0dreamer\u2019s waking life or \u201cbig material\u201d coming out of the unconscious<\/a>. Am I feeling overwhelmed? Am I not tending to my\u00a0emotions?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Recurring Nightmares and Emotions<\/span><\/h2>\n

You mentioned the nightmares began years ago. I would explore if there was any particular event that happened when the\u00a0nightmares began. One of the main symptoms of trauma<\/a> is the affliction of frequent or recurring nightmares.<\/span><\/p>\n

In my experience as a therapist specializing in dreams, I have noticed that the more engaged a person is in the healing work, the\u00a0deeper the healing that can take place. This includes getting support from a professional<\/a> who is trained in working with nightmares\u00a0and dream analysis<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Warm regards,<\/span><\/p>\n

Linda<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Linda H. Mastrangelo, MA, LMFT, responds to our latest reader-submitted Dear GoodTherapy.org question.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3001,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[625,542],"tags":[522,288,556,25,27,397],"class_list":["post-32681","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dear-goodtherapy","category-featured-articles","tag-dear-gt","tag-dream-analysis","tag-dreamwork","tag-psychotherapy-issues","tag-psychotherapy-models","tag-sleep-disorders"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32681","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3001"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=32681"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32681\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=32681"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=32681"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=32681"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}