{"id":31995,"date":"2016-06-01T08:00:44","date_gmt":"2016-06-01T15:00:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=31995"},"modified":"2016-05-25T15:09:36","modified_gmt":"2016-05-25T22:09:36","slug":"the-insidious-impact-of-parental-conflict-on-child-behavior","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/insidious-impact-of-parental-conflict-on-child-behavior-0601165","title":{"rendered":"The Insidious Impact of Parental Conflict on Child Behavior"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"SeriousAs a family systems<\/a> therapist, it\u2019s been my experience that when parents bring a child to my office due to acting-out behaviors or social challenges, it usually comes back to the dynamic in the parental relationship. Typically, what\u2019s going on (or not) between Mom and Dad is at the root of the issue, regardless of whether the parents are married, separated, or divorced.<\/p>\n

Marital dissatisfaction and parental conflict, in my experience, are often correlated with how well children<\/a> adjust to situations. In addition, parental attitudes and approaches can impact children. Children may experience anxiety<\/a>, depression<\/a>, shame<\/a>, or other issues when conflicted parental relationships result in dysfunctional parenting<\/a> practices. Parental conflict can result in reduced parental involvement, harsh discipline practices, lack of praise and acknowledgement, and increased parent-child conflict.<\/p>\n

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A common scenario that often plays out in families<\/a> with parental conflict is when a child is blamed and scapegoated by the parents, which in turn may cause the child to act out. This nonadaptive parenting style creates a dynamic of discord that is enmeshed, reciprocal, and reinforcing.<\/p>\n

When overt or covert (silent or aggressive) parental conflict is present, there may be a tendency to create \u201calliances\u201d or \u201ccollusions\u201d among family members, which typically only alienates healthy family relationships. Additionally, some parents who do not actively engage in conflict in front of their children may allow their negative feelings toward each other to guide their decisions. These decisions, when motivated by resentment<\/a> and not the best interests of the children, may be equally harmful.<\/p>\n

Naturally, parental conflict also can result in reduced emotional availability toward children. Generally speaking, the lower the level of parental conflict, the more positive parent-child relationships tend to be.<\/p>\n

Suggestions for Managing Parental Conflict Around Children<\/h2>\n

Conflict is a natural part of relationships<\/a>. It is important for children to see that parents can disagree and work through conflicts<\/a>. The problem solving that follows occasional conflict between parents can be a healthy thing for children to witness. When parents are able to demonstrate effective problem-solving strategies collaboratively, they model supportive parenting and parental involvement at a much higher level.<\/p>\n

The lower the level of parental conflict, the more positive parent-child relationships tend to be.<\/span><\/p>\n

However, when conflict is chronic and parents aren\u2019t able to come to resolution, it can become problematic from the children\u2019s standpoint.<\/p>\n

So what can parents do to demonstrate healthy conflict management in front of their children? Here are some suggestions to consider:<\/p>\n